Gaslighting in Relationships: Know the Warning Signs – An Interview with Preston Ni

Image resultGaslighting is a psychologically abusive tactic used in many toxic relationships. It manipulates an individual’s perceptions–making them doubt their own sanity and reality. Interestingly, the ominous term was fashioned from the film Gaslight, which was released in 1944. Luckily, I was able to watch the film in its entirety online (thank you Archive.org!). After watching Gaslight, I questioned if it was literally as easy as was shown in the film to subject someone to gaslighting in everyday situations. While I assume feelings of trust play a major factor in being gaslighted, I’m certain there are more complex emotional and psychological factors at play. That said, I felt grateful to stumble upon an article written by Preston Ni entitled The 7 Stages of Gaslighting in Relationships. Continue reading to learn more, and lean upon Preston’s insightful responses to help untangle the intricate web that is gaslighting.

 

  • Gaslighting is certainly an insidious tactic. I’m wondering how one comes to learn such a vice. Is there a handbook, or do you think that gaslighters merely act out what they have seen in their own families and/or media?

“Gaslighting is a form of persistent manipulation and brainwashing that causes the victim to doubt her or himself, and ultimately lose her or his own sense of perception, identity, and self-worth. It can occur in personal relationships, such as verbal, emotional, and/or physical hostility from one partner to another; at the workplace when a supervisor regularly and unfairly berates his or her employees; or over an entire nation when commercial advertising or public figures make pronouncements that are clearly contrary to the good of society. Gaslighting can be learned from family, media, and/or societal norms. It is a phenomenon that’s becoming ever more pervasive in our society today, which is why I wrote my book: “How to Successfully Handle Gaslighters and Stop Psychological Bullying.”

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  • In your article, you asserted that gaslighters create negative narratives that are damaging to the gaslightee. Are there instances where gaslighters use flattery to gain control over their victims (i.e., exaggerating or overstating someone’s beauty, intelligence, or talent when the opposite is obvious)?

“Gaslighting is predominately a negative and destructive trait. Some gaslighters may occasionally use flattery or other forms of positive reinforcement as a manipulative tactic. When the victim’s guard is down, the next round of gaslighting may begin.”

  • Emotional confusion appears to be the base of a gaslighter’s agenda, and I can understand how this could work well on someone who does not trust their own judgment. However, how does this type of emotional confusion chip away at those who do trust themselves?

“Those who trust and have a good sense of themselves can be more immune to gaslighting. However, gaslighters tend to persist in their coercion as long as you’re in their orbit. Like psychological warfare, by keeping up with the negativity, the gaslighterRelated image can eventually wear down their victim. Just as a physically healthy person can get sick by standing next to someone with the flu, an emotionally healthy person can be infected with the negative contagion spread by a gaslighter.”

  • When someone is aware of gaslighting tactics, do you believe they can still be gaslighted?

“Probably yes, at least to some extent, if one has regular contact with the gaslighter. When one is repeatedly exposed to negativity, manipulation, and coercion, it’s hard not to be affected.”

  • How can an individual guard against self-doubt in these types of situations?

“There are many tips to guard against being gaslit in a relationship. One of the most important ideas is to keep a healthy distance whenever possible. It is also crucial to learn how to communicate affirmatively to yourself and with the gaslighter, to minimize the impact of being gaslit.”

  • Are gaslighters always cognizant of what they’re doing, or is it possible that one can gaslight others unconsciously?

“Many gaslighters purposely want to dominate and control an individual or a group. That said, there are other times when a gaslighter is unaware of his or her destructive behavior. An example would be someone who consistently makes derogatory sexist, racist, and homophobic slurs because that was how this individual was raised, but is oblivious to the hurtfulness of such remarks.”

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  • I love that you mentioned codependent relationships in your article. Would you say that persons who do not suffer from codependency are less likely to be the victim of gaslighting, or are all people equally susceptible?

“It takes two people for gaslighting to work: the gaslighter, and the victim. As soon as the victim decides she or he will no longer accept the ill treatment, the process of change begins. This is sometimes easier said than done because of the codependent factor, but it is definitely doable. It often takes critical astuteness to spot and protect oneself from gaslighting, be it in romantic or family relationship, at the workplace, or in society at large.”

  • You mentioned that giving “false hope” is a tactic that abusers use to gaslight. Would it be safe to assume that gaslighting only works if there is a rotation of abusive behavior and “superficial kindness?” Is this cycle the “perpetual hook” that allows gaslighting and abuse to take place? 

“While some gaslighters employ the “false hope” tactic, others do not bother with it. Many toxic and abusive relationships are that way on an almost daily basis.”

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  • You stated that a gaslighter seeks to exploit his or her victims at will to expand his power for personal gain. While all gaslighters may not be narcissists, do you think that all narcissists are gaslighters?

“Gaslighting and narcissism are different traits with certain overlaps. Both can be ego-centric, manipulative, and coercive. Whereas narcissists tend to focus on self-absorbed, selfish machinations (to use others), many gaslighters fixate on power and control (to dominate others). Someone who has strong pathologies of both narcissism and gaslighting is toxic and dysfunctional at best, and highly dangerous at worst.”

  1. Please discuss your books (“How to Successfully Handle Gaslighters & Stop Psychological Bullying” and “How to Successfully Handle Narcissists”), and where to purchase.
    © 2017 by Preston C. Ni. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “I wrote “How to Successfully Handle Gaslighters & Stop Psychological Bullying” and “How to Successfully Handle Narcissists” because as a professor, trainer and coach, I’ve met so many people who suffer from toxic relationships. These books include many practical communication tips and assertive strategies on how to handle gaslighters and narcissists. The publications are available at: nipreston.com/new/publications/, and this interview contains excerpts from my book How to Successfully Handle Gaslighters and Stop Psychological Bullying, which is registered with the U.S. Copyright Office.

Preston Ni is a professor and communication specialist in the areas of interpersonal effectiveness, professional communication, cross-cultural understanding, and organizational change.

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While gaslighters seek to confuse, control, and dominate, one should definitely consider distancing him or herself when dealing with such individuals. While I know it can be difficult and quite uncomfortable to place distance between yourself and someone you love (or like) in personal relationships/friendships, staying close is far more damaging when your mental health is at stake. Remain aware that your feelings and experiences are valid, and no one possesses the power or authority to invalidate you or your perceptions. Trust yourself as best you can, and always remember that…

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However, if you’re not quite ready to disengage, it’s okay! Luckily, we have professionals like Preston Ni to help us figure things out.

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  1. Quite an interesting and rather eye-opening interview, on the whole. Gaslighting is a subject that not enough light has been shed upon, considering how common this sort of behaviour seems after a thorough understanding has been gained.

    I find that your questions were framed in a concise and crisp manner, presenting a very clear view on the objective of your question.

    Throughout the interview, I felt a sense of familiarity with the subject, and upon a further few minutes of pondering upon the so called gaslighters, I find a striking similarity between these individuals and the “vampires/leeches” from Anton LaVey’s “The Satanic Bible.” ( I can not procure a copy to provide a direct quote at the moment, but I do suggest taking a look to anyone curious). And while “smiting” these gaslighters/leeches may seem a bit excessive, it certainly looks rational to not provide them with the benefit of doubt, so as to avoid another falling under their toxic influence again, don’t you think?

    All in all, I commend you for making reading this not only an informative but also thought-provoking experience. Good job, mate.

  2. Fantastic opening and development with the definition of the term and a background of its usage. The inclusion of who Preston Ni is and the link to his article were both extremely helpful as I was able to gain even more information on the subject before reading the interview.

    The power imbalance present in a relationship with gaslighting behavior is an immensely important sign–an automatic red flag for some–and a situation that is not commonly explored due to stereotypes of a male-female relationship. Surprisingly, this interview made me realize that my boyfriend has actually done this to me before and claimed I’m “too sensitive” or “just overreacting” to several things that bother me when I confront him about his behavior.

    The added pictures and graphics were very eye-catching, giving a visual representation for the topics discussed and aiding in comprehension abilities. As for organization, your interview questions covered everything I wanted to know and more, but the bullet points on the side were slightly distracting. Near the end, you included the description of Preston Ni’s book and a link to find it, something I greatly appreciated to expand on the knowledge you gave through the interview. You also added a conclusion in your own words regarding gaslighting which is a wonderful way for readers to connect to you personally and get a feel of your opinion on the subject.

    Ways to improve this article would be to add modern examples of gaslighting, such as the 2016 movie “The Girl on the Train–“ a cinematic masterpiece in its ability to produce an unreliable narrator who has been gaslighted by her husband for years without realizing it until her entire perspective of her own reality is twisted into making the audience believe she is the antagonist until the end– possibly your personal opinion or experiences with the idea, and the most important thing: a more thorough explanation of how gaslighting branches out to relationships other than romantic ones, such as parent-child, friend-friend, student-teacher, and many more.

    Overall, a very well-organized interview on an important topic that more people need to familiarize themselves with. Thank you for posting this!

  3. Wow! This article has really given me a lot more insight to the logistics of gas lighting and is eye-opening. Prior to reading this interview, I assumed that gas lighting was someone purposely manipulating a situation to make their victim feel uncertain of their own sanity. Now I realize it is was more complicated than that. I am pleased this also touched base on the fact that gas lighting doesn’t only occur in romantic relationships but in friendship and family dynamics as well. Even though you did include a media example of gas lighting in the introduction of your article, it would probably be more staggering for audiences if they were given modern day media examples of this abuse tactic. For instance, the 2016 Will Smith movie “Collateral Beauty” depicts a man whose grief is twisted by colleagues so he is deemed incompetent.

    Lastly, I think it was significant that materials on how to grapple with and recognize gas lighting were added at the end of the article. Audiences may read this article and realize they themselves or someone they know are struggling with being exposed to this abusive psychological warfare.

  4. I found this article to be very thought provoking, especially in relating gaslighting to persuasion tactics used in relationship platforms other than something romantic, platonic, or familial. Referencing a commercial was a perfect example of gaslighting, and my mind immediately jumped to commercials that endorse acne products. Often the subject matter is directed towards young women and they use softer forms of manipulation (maybe persuasion is a better term) such as phrases like “I hated my face” or “I didn’t want to go out in public.” They then juxtapose this with phrases like “(Brand name) gave me the confidence to start my morning with a smile” or “Because I finally love my ______” which act as positive reinforcement for this product.

    I wonder if you could have included a question on gaslighting within a government or even within terrorist organizations. While gaslighters appear inherently negative, they must still have some form of charisma that makes people susceptible to their words. I would be very interested to know Preston Ni’s thoughts on this comment or question.

    Overall though, your article was well written and well cited with interesting information and quotes. Your questions were clear and to the point and the introduction and conclusion paragraphs did not stray from the topic.

  5. This article was very eye opening! Gaslighting is not nearly talked about enough. I recently got out of a relationship that, looking back, reeked of this kind of manipulation. During the entire process of leaving the guy (and believe me, it was a PROCESS), the idea that he was gaslighting me never once entered my head. It wasn’t until months later when a friend made a casual comment on how “gaslit” the relationship was. Until reading this article, I wasn’t really even conviced that he had manipulated me in this way.
    This being said, I think it’s very important to discuss the signs of gaslighting. There are some in this article, specifically in the picture you used featuring quotes from a gaslighter, that provide things to watch for in a potentially manipulative relationship, but I would definitely like to see more. What are some clear signs for a person to look for in a variety of relationships? He goes over a few of them in his own article, but it could be helpful to translate some of those signs here– specifically the quotes and examples he uses to demonstrate the various signs. Not everyone that reads this article will read his, and I feel that it is important to spread this knowledge.
    Also another question this brought up for me: what motivates someone to gaslight? Sure, there’s the desire for dominance and control, but is there some sort of psychological issue going on behind the scenes? You mentioned narcissism, and that got me thinking that perhaps the gaslighter was gaslit at some point, giving them a desperate need to regain control. It would be interesting to know!
    This was a great piece, it was, like StanDW said, very informative and thought provoking! Great work, thank you for bringing light to this issue!

  6. This is the kind of article I needed about four years ago, when I got into my first relationship. I never really knew how to describe the maltreatment I experienced in such concise terms, but reading the word “gaslighter” really hit the nail on the head. I find this article to be highly credible as well due to Preston Ni being a published scholarly professor. Just one question, though: Do you think gaslighters have similar traits to sociopaths, more specifically, not being concerned about the consequences of their actions/the effects of them? Looking back at my first relationship makes me realize how toxic it was, and how being the victim while experiencing gaslighting first-hand made it difficult to really get a logical/clear perspective on what was going on underneath the superficiality of the relationship. I really thought pointing out the importance of keeping a healthy distance whenever possible and learning how to communicate affirmatively to oneself and the gaslighter need to be prioritized by the victim; however, it really is a lot easier said than done. Overall, I really appreciate the organization of this interview, as well as its ability to provoke thoughts of past experiences and deeper analyses of them.

  7. I really enjoyed this article since it has been fairly recent that I learned about gaslighting, and I have gained many questions in regards to the topic. I also enjoyed that you incorporated the links to some of the original content along with info graphics to keep the readers engaged, and able to do further research if the want arouse.

    It was also interesting to learn that the term originated from a movie that depicts the type of psychological abuse that it is associated with. This article was able to answer some of the questions that I had in regards to gaslighting such as whether it was only prevalent in romantic relationships, and if it was a learned behavior from pass abuse or family interactions. I really enjoyed one of the analogies mentioned that included relating a mentally strong individual who maybe able to resist gaslighting, to a typically healthy individual who is able to resit a cold. I think it is important to understand that although an immune system may not be as weak as others even the healthiest person can get sick if constantly exposed to harmful germs, but just like staying healthy prevention measures are always beneficial.

    There are some things that could be improved upon within this article that could be helpful to some of the readers. I thought it was great that information was provided on how individuals can learn more about gaslighting through Professor Preston NI, but I think more sources of information could be provided as well. Such as links or just information on what a person could do if they believe they are a victim of gaslighting such as seeking help from a therapist, or reaching out to someone in their support system. Also as mentioned in earlier comments providing examples of what gaslighting might look like in relationships that are not of the romantic nature can further help others identify what it may look like in others parts of their life. This can be done by maybe giving creating mock dialogues that are similar to the phrases that are provided in one of the info graphics above. Also providing some more up to date examples of depictions of gaslighting in the form of movies, shows, or news can help others relate, and identify better to what is being communicated.

    Overall I found this article to be informative, and thought provoking. it has made me want to do more research on the subject,and look more into the information that is available through Professor Ni. I would like to congratulate you on a great interview and resulting article.

  8. While reading this article, I could reflect on a lot of personal relationships I have grown up around and have been in romantically as an individual. Especially with the imagery that described a conversation stating, “that’s not right; you’re remembering things wrong.” This personally happened a lot with my ex and it reminded me about a lot of the toxic arguments we would get into because I wouldn’t be so sure of myself or words just started to become things that sometimes didn’t add up. It creates this self-doubt and anxiety that becomes unhealthy due to the cycles that accumulate around gaslighting.

    Gaslighting shows a reflection of what troublesome experiences a human being can face being manipulated, brainwashed and losing their sense of direction due to another individual or the environments they are placed in. A lot of people go through this on the daily or have had past experiences because of the overload of pressures we face in society today within our personal relationships in various ways. Certain gas-lighters that know that they can control someone because they get close and start taking what they can get once they get the emotional attachment of the victim. They know that they have a way to overpower someone else because of their position. This a lot of times can leave a person confused with tunnel vision and not sure if what a person is going through is right or wrong because their perceptions are clouded by the the false perceptions of kindness the manipulator can give just to gain.

    I really enjoyed the detail this article went in to describe additional circumstances that are outside of romantic relationships into other depths that we can dived into based around what we grow up with or become accustom to if surrounded by that during growth development. The imagery used in this article was very beautifully placed especially the silhouette of a person tangled in threads. It describes the emotions perfectly of what a victim of these situations will go through because it can feel like your trapped within an emotional web that drains you both physically and mentally.

  9. I didn’t even realize gaslighting was a thing until I read this article.
    I liked how different types of relationships that could be corrupted by gaslighting were mentioned.
    The picture with phrases commonly said by gaslighters was interesting because those types of phrases are so common.
    Could social media be exacerbating the use of gaslighting? One of the common things said about social media is that most of what’s shown has been staged and redone again and again until it’s perfect, but people tend to take the finished product as the first try. This makes them think that a perfect life is possible, but that there’s something wrong with themselves, which is why they can’t achieve it. Both can damage a person’s identity and self-esteem, but couldn’t it also damage their sense of reality?

  10. ‘Gaslighting’. At last, a term for the verbal gymnastics used by those with a microphone to the masses, as well as the individual.
    Very little is presented as to the interviewees background, seeming to lack a concrete basis to take as a serious proven scientific explanation or value. The resultant reader’s take is of a superficial, Back and Forth, vague, rambling explanation of the perpetrator.
    The interviewer seems to ask the same question using a thesaurus like word change for each redundant question.

  11. As someone who dealt with an emotionally abusive friend for 8 years, this article really hit home. Now, I’ve chosen to break all ties with said person, but recently I noticed a shift in what she does to others. The article clearly defines the difference between the behavior she displayed towards me, using people, and her current tactic of outright forcing control over others.
    While the article is well written and full of extremely useful information, one piece of advice I would like to have seen is how to go about breaking away from the gaslighter. I know it’s incredibly important to do so as quickly as possible, but for some people, it can be hard to figure out the first step in the process. Possibly briefly touching on explaining the situation to people and creating a support system. But overall a very good article and definitely something I’ll have to share on Facebook so others may be able to take note if they may be in a gaslighting situation.

  12. Before reading this interview, I wasn’t really aware of the idea of gaslighting, and after knowing that this act is considered as a form of negative manipulation toward other people, I cannot help but to view its distinction from other psychological disorders such as antisocial and borderline personality disorder. So my question is: Are people who commit such acts of gaslighting easily prone to these personality disorders? Also, though this interview may be viewed as informational for people who may encounter at least one person in their lifetime who possess this kind of behavior, it does not really explain or discuss how a victim might be able to recover from the impact which the gaslighter had impose upon him or her.

    1. These are great questions. I would assume there is distinctions as you mention as mentioned in the article as separate from narcissism with overlaps. But it seems more of a tool rather than a disorder. I would assume as well that there may be some correlation with some disorders but I don’t think one would be a cause or symptom of one.
      I also would have liked to learn more on what to do as a victim. I believe a lot of it would come from being aware of what gaslighting is, and like a Mindfulness tactic, label it when you notice it happening.
      I’m also interested in learning more about the gaslighter themselves. How much do they know they are doing this. I know this was mentioned briefly. But can they be reformed?

  13. This definitely will interest many who live with a “gaslighter ” on a daily basis or maybe those victimized by the emotional torture of a “gaslighter” sometime in their lifetime.
    There are still some human beings in 2017 that have no idea what Gaslighting means and may not pay much attention to the title at all thinking that the term means something else a d will skip right over the article because it doesn’t apply to them. I think there are many people living with a gaslighter who only believe the person to be “difficult” maybe ” set in his/her ways” totally not familiar with the term gaslighting at all. This person is an accepting, loving person , who has been raised to love unconditionally especially after marriage. This loving and accepting person is the exact type I believe to get caught in the gaslighters web. This victim is intelligent not dumb by any means. Only full of memories of the their significant other and how they used to be before the gaslighting began.
    From my own personal experience with gaslighting and what this means I must say it’s been a journey for me to truly learn the term and what it is. I have been the girl with no clue. Giving, accepting, and putting up with the “stubbornness” only to suffer tragically over and over. Takes a while sometimes for a girl who should know better by now to do a little research and try to find out why such mind games are being played upon her. Maybe she’s up all night with a broken heart scrolling through uplifting Pinterest quotes to try to cheer herself up and this becomes the way she hears the term gaslighting and educates herself on it. But for some it’s way too embarrassing to research, so they are silent and continue to take the abuse.
    This was a great read but could be better and reach more people if the title excluded gaslighter. Are you giving your relationship your all and still end up the bad guy? Not 100% sure of how the title should be but it should be in a way that describes what a gaslighter is and catches the attention of the victim. It caught my attention only because I have been brave enough to look for answers to the abuse I have been receiving and how to deal with it. That’s probably the only thing I would change. I would definitely want it to help someone who reads it.

  14. Gaslighting often, to me, had seemed something that was far away. Like something you imagine reading about in an article like this one or hearing that it happened to a friend of a friend. And like any form of abuse you never wish to experience it in a personal way, or to any of your loved ones. So in order to properly identify a gaslighter you need to be very familiar with how they operate and, most importantly, what gaslighting is. This article does a good job of explaining what it is and not only presenting how gaslighters act but also how victims feel.
    It appears to be also a very surreal experience to read about, you could almost wonder how is it possible for a person to lose their sense of reality and/or self-worth? However, as disturbing as it may be, it can and does happen so we must be careful and observant.
    Articles like this one are both important and necessary, it needs to be shared and understood by people in order to help victims and stop abusers.
    All in all, great article!

    1. What scares me about this, even more son on the individual levels, is that in the interview,Preston mentions it can be inserted as a social norm or over an entire nation! I’ve never heard of this idea of gaslighting before, but I wonder if examining history we can see people who came into power using this tactic? If this is true, it’s even more important that this information gets shared.

      1. Wow, you’re right. I hadn’t even though about that and now I am petrified. Looking back at history is a great idea, although it would be a major plot twist if humanity learned from its mistakes from the past. Nonetheless, it something that should happen and I am quite certain that we don’t have to go too far to prove how this has been done. But that’s just my opinion.

        1. Didn’t mean to petrify you!
          You’re right in that it’s awfully optimistic to think all of humanity can learn by examining history. However, you can always be part of the change by continuing to do what you’re doing now, reading and thinking about historical, social and current perspectives with the new things you learn.
          I was thinking currently, it would seem certain dictators are currently using Gaslighting techniques, can you think of any? I’m trying to think back to my education on Mussolini, and I feel he may have used this tactic.

  15. It was interesting to know the origins of the word “gaslight” and it came to be used as a psychological tactic. While reading the article I thought back at certain instances of different relationships and how long it took for me to eventually cut them out of my life. This form of psychological abuse isn’t talked about as much as it should and I wish information like this was present during my time in high school.

    There was a lot of talk of the tactics the gaslighters would use, but it would be in different parts of the interview. Rather than having them all over the place why not have those questions one after the other? So start off with questions over the tactics and how it presents itself in different relationships then ending it with a few questions of how to prevent becoming a victim of it.

    Aside from that, it’s an informative interview, thanks for posting this!

  16. Ever since I first read about the idea of gas lighting I never fully understood it. I have been in relationships where people have questioned my sanity and told me that my motives were wrong but I always trusted my own perceptions and concluded that they were saying what they were saying simply in defense. I liked the examples in this article but in particular the example with the mother and the daughter at the grocery store confused me. Preston Ni makes it seem like the gas lighter only ever tries to dominate the person and doesn’t have a real feelings for them. It’s hard for me to think of a mother only ever trying to dominate and belittle her child. Though there may be some mothers like that out there it is still a difficult idea for me. That idea makes me think of relationships I have been in when my partner tried to dominate the conversation by calling my opinions into question. Telling me that my feelings are invalid and wrong and that I am crazy for thinking them I see as a form of gaslighting but never in any of my relationships do I believe the person only had the intent to domainate me. I believe those people all genuinely cared for me but didn’t know how to handle real conversations about how their actions are affecting the relationship. So I am confused, have I been a victim of gaslighting, or simply exposed to immature and emotionally stunted men? And where do you draw the line between the two?

    1. You bring up really great questions that I would also like to know more about. This idea of gaslighting is completely new to me, but right away, my memory came to mind a mother of a friend and not a relationship, so most definitely parents can be like this to their children as well.

  17. God, how I wish this article was around for me years ago. I did not realize as much about how toxic gaslighting can be and how it affects those in relationships whether they be romantic, platonic, or familial. I also liked how it was explained also that those who gaslight may not even be doing it with the intention of being hurtful but also should be treated with distance because of how it can affect the victim. I think this article and this topic are incredibly important because of the countless amount of people who are involved in relationships and have no idea that this is a tactic to have the victim feel less than, even if they have never been insecure on their thoughts and feelings before, and highlights how serious of a problem this can be.

  18. I quite enjoyed reading this article, and it is of a rather intellectual caliber and refrains from being too intimate and narrative in just the right way. The introductory and questions are stellar, and I was thoroughly engaged and compelled to learn more about the premise of ‘gaslighting’. I love that you included allusions and citations to films and different books by Ni and that you even had him discuss his books. Further, I liked the graphics and image you used that are in conjunction with the film you first referenced, but I would have perhaps included graphics more relevant to the text around it as you continued the article.

  19. i thought this article was very interesting since gaslighting is a concept not many people are familiar with, unfortunately. I have a quite a few friends that are in unhealthy relationships where there is not only a codependence, but a mutual gaslighting give and take from both sides. I wonder if this is possible or if it is considered to be something else?

    An interesting addition would be to see what type of people tend to be the victim and gaslighter in these situations; perhaps those with anxiety are more likely to be the victims, and those with a lower self esteem that overcompensate and project might be the gaslighter. It would be interesting to see statistics on this topic.

    Other than that, it was informative and well written, with the interview questions being straightforward yet leaving room for additional comments from Mr. Ni.

  20. I really enjoyed reading this article.
    I know a bit about psychologically abuse in relationships but I had no idea that this type even had a name. It’s much deeper than I thought

    Thank you for writing a great article that is such an eye opener

  21. This article was very well written and I found it super informative. The purpose and definition was clear and easy to follow. I also like how the author brought up the concept of a codependent, which is an essential aspect to acknowledge! The only way abuse can successfully occur is if the other individual allows it to occur. Do not get me wrong, I do acknowledge there are numerous factors and circumstances, but to be realistic you need a codependent.

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