Why is happiness so elusive? Why can’t I be happy with my life? These are common questions in the minds of many. Well, being happy in life is easier than you probably imagine.
To be happy in this extremely competitive and fast-paced life, you must learn to adapt yourself to your status and situation no matter how unpleasant it could seem. You need to understand that you aren’t perfect- no human is. You will make mistakes in this life, you will fail at many things, you will be loved and hated, you will be treated unfairly, but in the midst of all that, you need to love yourself for who you are. If you forgive other people when they make mistakes, you must learn to forgive yourself as well. You need to reassure yourself constantly that other people’s lives aren’t better than yours. It is only by accepting yourself for who you are that you’ll achieve true happiness and start living a fulfilling and purposeful life.
If you have a hard time accepting yourself for who you are, here are 5 tips on how to accept and love yourself so that you can achieve true happiness.
- Dare to lead an unedited life
Everyone is two-faced. You have a face that you put on when you want to show how perfect you are. This face is flawless, it portrays innocence, it masks past trauma and injustices, it shines as if it has never been hurt before, and it is quick to repel criticism. It separates you from the truth and lies to you that you are complete, spiritually astute, and mentally strong. It is simply perfect and admirable. This face is called ego. Try to avoid it as much as possible.
Then there is the second face- A face that you try to hide from the world. You don’t want to be seen walking around with it, but it still is a part of you. This is the face that accepts your past trauma and unpleasant experiences, it appreciates the struggle you have been through and the many flaws you have as a human being, and it generally brings out your unconditioned self. It is real, it is unedited, and it is determined to seek real happiness. Always wear this face.
- Be willing to forgive yourself
Forgiveness is vital in your pursuit of happiness. Most people will tell you to forgive your transgressors so that you can heal and be happy. They will tell you that holding onto grudges for too long will only rob your peace of mind. What they will not tell you, however, is that forgiving other people without forgiving yourself will do more harm than good to your inner peace. Stop beating yourself up when you attempt to look and feel perfect backfires. Make a habit of looking yourself in the mirror and reassuring yourself that you love you; that you forgive and treasure you. Tell yourself that even if your skin is imperfect, even if your life is a mess, there is a beautiful person beneath that skin. That person deserves another chance to right the wrongs, and realize his full potential. However, if this doesn’t work or you are having trouble forgiving your self, it would be good to approach a life coach, who can help you ask and answer questions about yourself that would guide you to your answers. However, make sure to do some research online and learn what is life coaching in essence and how it can help you, and then go ahead and choose the right life coach that can help you with your problems.
- Be ready to live with what you cannot change
As much as we have to constantly strive to achieve more and become better versions of ourselves, we must appreciate that we are primarily who we are. There are some aspects of our lives that we cannot change no matter how hard we try. A good example is your parents. If they embarrass you with their bad reputation or if you feel like they should be doing better with their lives, maybe it is best to let them be. Stop wasting too much mental energy trying to change them as that will inevitably lead to sadness. Or maybe you are insecure about your physical appearance. Stop beating yourself up for it. You didn’t create your own body, after all.
- Focus on being the best person you can be
It is important to identify and nurture your positive traits. Stop focusing on your shortcomings. Everyone is talented in their own unique way. Use your talents to do good to and for humanity.
- Understand that you are both the source and the cause of your own well-being
Everything is only as good or as bad as you think it is. If you have negative thoughts about the world you live in, then everything that comes from it will be negative. If, on the other hand, you put yourself in a positive bubble where you only entertain positive thoughts about the world, positive things will definitely follow you. Your thoughts dictate all your emotions, good or bad. Pick the right thoughts all the time.
After doing all the 5 above, go ahead and eliminate toxicity from your life. Put an end to an unhappy life by taking charge of your life. If you can manage to live a life that’s untethered from your partners, employees, colleagues, or parents, then there is no reason why you should peg your happiness on their approval.