David Wygant of askmen.com use to be that one fella who constantly friend zoned girls, simply because he didn’t feel they were perfectly perfect. One day, the karma queen came around and bite him in the rear-end: he was so stunned by this spectacular woman that he was incapable of planting a romantic move. She eventually got fed up and friend zoned him. Once again ya’ll: karma will come back around!!
“Do you want to know how to get out of the friend zone?” Wygant writes. “Don’t act like her friend. Don’t act like her buddy. Don’t have any fear. Don’t act like somebody different. Act like yourself. If you’re attracted to her, grab her hand. If you want to kiss her, go in for the kiss. If you want to go out with her again, tell her so. Act like you do with all the other women. Take her out. Ask her out. Make sure she knows it’s a date, not just a hang-out-in-the-park-with-two-dogs-running-around. Step up and be a man because you don’t need another friend. ”
According to psychologytoday.com, friend zone references to a situation where there is a mismatch in romantic feelings between two individuals. This occurs when:
1) Sexual/romantic attraction mismatch: one person is interested in more than just friends, but the other simply wants to be just friends.
2) When two are already sexually active (friends with benefits). One wants a committed relationship, but the other does not.
The friend zone sucks. Period. HOWEVER, there is hope. You can change. All it takes is practice and the following of a few guidelines established by experienced daters.
Here’s a few tips on how to avoid the friend zone:
1) Be Attractive: We’re all visual human beings and for us to be in a romantic relationship with someone, we have to find them physically attractive to an extent. Most opposite sex friends normally remain just friends because they’re not physical attracted to one another, or at least one person isn’t. In friendships, there’s that attachment/comfort feeling but there is no lust, physical attraction or seductive feeling. There isn’t enough physical chemistry to make the other person desirable in a romantic light therefore, we friend zone them. Anyone can learn to be attractive: groom yourself, sport nicer attire, stay fit, and improve your body language. Social graceful and courting etiquette are skills we can all learn.
2) Finding a match: Studies in the 90’s show that individuals who enter romantic relationships have a high level of similar qualities shared. Those who are constantly friend zoned tend to fail at choosing a good potential suitor. Good daters are well-aware of three things: what type of people they normally attract, the qualities they like in an ideal partner, and how to spot those qualities easily. Also, they know when someone is uninterested; if someone shows high signs of disinterest, don’t keep pursuing.
3) Being bold and asking: Don’t be afraid to speak up; all of our hearts fear pain and most individuals hate showcasing vulnerability. However, you must clearly communicate your feelings and not settle for less. Research done by Hald and Hogh-Olsen in 2010 show that 68% single men and 43% of single women agreed to a date request by a stranger of average attractiveness. Yes, Irch said average and not stunning. See, there’s hope!!
4) Making Them Work: Friend zoned individuals are often times too nice (and maybe, too easy to obtain). Everyone likes a challenge. Don’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of and be easily forgotten. Don’t do all the work, planning and sacrificing. Effort and investment should be balanced on both ends.
For everyone who is sick and tired of being friend zoned, don’t worry: there’s hope! The situation is not permanent and you can alter your life to find a ful filling romantic relationship. It might seem like a lot of work and effort at this moment however, it’s worth it. You’re worth it. You deserve to be the best you and you deserve to be with someone who treats you like the best.