Identity Crisis

In a community of introverts, how do you know if you belong? Ever since I learned the definition, I stuck a label on myself: Introvert. I have taken quizzes from sources that range from Buzzfeed to Myers-Briggs, and each one returns me to the same answer: Introvert. I check all the boxes: small talk is death, books over people, a night in over a night out. The same answers and feelings since I was twelve.

Against Self

My definition of introvert has indubitably changed over the past few years, unintentionally to fit my own life. When do you decide if you have changed from introvert to extrovert? When do you decide that your favorite book has changed? When do you decide that your favorite color is no longer red but brown? It’s not that I doubt if I am still an introvert, I just question whether my knowledge of what an introvert is causes me to force myself into a mindset that I have outgrown. By definition, an introvert gets energy from their own company rather than that of others. But what if I enjoy a leisurely stroll with friends, rather than by myself? What if I partake in small talk with strangers, rather than shun it and focus on the intellectual? Am I still an introvert?

I am a teenager, I am still learning myself, so this identity crisis of sorts is not too unusual. But the worst thing I can do to myself is what adults do to kids: dismiss it. People I meet are not likely to ask if I am an introvert or an extrovert, yet it is a fact of my identity that plagues my subconscious. On some level, this dilemma is characteristic for adolescents. In the past year alone, I have questioned everything- social norms, my sexual orientation, my college major, my career plan, etc. Why, then, would a trait as simple as my introversion be any different? However, in the same way that I have reached conclusions and made opinions on all the above, I must come to a conclusion on this as well.

Against Society

The striking similarity between this battle and the others is the effect of an invisible extraneous variable- society. As a part of “Gen Z”, the internet and social media are as much a part of my life as the air I breathe. Whenever I am with a friend or relative, there is a moment where we are both on our devices. Is this why I am an introvert? I can socialize just fine over invisible air magnetism, yet I can hardly stand the production of sound waves. Maybe, I say to myself, I would be an extrovert in the olden days before texting and Instagram. To what extent is my introversion a direct result of my relationship with technology?

Taking this one step further, the definition of introversion has evolved as I have grown. Similar to the three waves of feminism, there are multiple variations on what introversion is based. The definition of introvert might not have changed, but the social perception of it undeniably has. More and more people mention if they are an introvert/extrovert in their social media bios, and there are quizzes, articles, websites, and studies devoted to this phenomenon.

The fact that I am evolving in an ever-changing society gives me little comfort in this identity crisis. I will continue to label myself as an introvert, not because I feel that it defines me, but because I can define my introversion in any way I like. Introverts are not small, we are not shy, we contain galaxies and complexities and identity crises.

Let me know if you have experienced a similar identity crisis in the comments below! I would love to hear more stories like (or completely different from) mine!

Edited by Viveca Shearin