In the age of tinder, bumble, and hinge it’s easy to sit behind a screen and swipe, but what happens next? What happens after you find a match and it’s time to go and meet them in person? If reading that struck a chord then keep reading because today (drumroll please) I am here to give you an introvert’s survival guide to dating. These suggestions are tailored to help you make the most of your best qualities.
1. Try not to assume how your date sees you-
Do you tend to assume what people are thinking or overanalyze their behavior?
There is so much more to you than being an introvert. Use that to your advantage. There might be so many things about you that people might not know because you don’t talk about yourself as much. Take this opportunity to talk about something that you like. You never know your match might end up having a similar interest but doesn’t necessarily talk about it either.
2. Do things your way-
Here are some alternatives if you don’t like the bar or club scene, which isn’t normally conducive to meeting anyone. To interact with others, look for smaller, more intimate environments. There are several wonderful cafes, restaurants, arcades, and lounges where you can spend time getting to know someone new in a smaller, less daunting environment.
3. Wear something comfortable and familiar–
If your go-to outfit is a baggy T-shirt and jeans, you’ll probably want to skip the statement lipstick and open-back dress, even if it gives you a more confident look. It just adds to the strain if you concentrate on how strange you feel. You don’t want to put on a brand new outfit and not know whether it’s too tight or too itchy; instead, put on something you’ve worn before and felt comfortable in.
4. Prep a little ahead on conversational topics–
If you’re extra worried about running out of things to talk about, try coming up with conversation starters beforehand. They could include anecdotes about your life or questions you would like to ask them. Talk about an array of things until you can figure out a mutual interest.
5. Focus on yourself-
Focus on yourself instead of obsessing about why they suddenly don’t want to see you for days or even weeks at a time. You’ll learn to love rather than hate your introvert’s demand for withdrawal until you know how much more time you have for work, travel, hobbies, or socializing.
6. Be well-fed-
There’s nothing quite like a hungry, jittery person on a date. And if you’re going to a restaurant, you may be too eager to eat there, so prepare ahead of time. Have a snack before you head out the door. It’s always better to be prepared.
7. Don’t take tips from movies or TV shows-
Don’t we all secretly want to be as charming as Mary Jensen or as smooth as Joey Tribbiani? But there is a fine line between reality and fantasy. TV shows and movies are a great source of entertainment but they shouldn’t be your handbook to dating a real-life person. After all, our lives aren’t scripted and edited down to the second.
8. Listen to some music before you step out the door-
Play those tunes that make your head bop and your feet tap, dance around your room, and channel your energy. Enjoy the songs that you are listening to, feel the words that you hear, and connect with them. Listen to empowering music by your favorite artist.
9. Allow yourself to express things-
If you are feeling something, let it out. If you enjoyed hanging out with them, tell them. Your feelings and emotions are valid and they deserve to be heard. It will make the other person feel more seen and appreciated. So go ahead and compliment them if you want to, don’t hold yourself back from making someone feel good about themselves.
10. Date someone who gets you-
If you need a little boost to get out and have fun, dating someone more extroverted can help. But, if you’re still extremely hard on yourself and relentlessly push yourself, dating someone who unabashedly stays in can be validating.
The most important thing is that this individual accepts your nesting, blanket-fort-building enthusiast ways and never makes you feel sorry for them.
When you are with someone with whom you feel comfortable and safe, you don’t need to justify your introversion or apologize for who you are.
Bonus Tip: Bring a wingman (wingwoman) with you if you don’t want to go alone. They can help you navigate and make the process a little easier.
Hopefully, now that you’ve got some tips in your pocket, you’ll be able to alter your dating strategy.
Introverts have a lot to offer in terms of affection, and they bring a unique dynamic to every relationship. Using these introvert dating survival tactics will aid you in your quest for the right person for you!