Romantic relationships are gifts. Regardless of how things end, they open up parts of ourselves and our hearts that perhaps we did not dare to explore or did not think existed.
But, all relationships have stages. They start as fledgling buds hoping to mature. Yet, not many relationships reach the stage of maturity.
Hence, there are a lot of differences between a mature and immature relationship.
- Idealization v. Acceptance
When you enter a relationship, everything feels new and exciting. You love and admire your partner’s traits and attributes and find it hard to find faults.
There is nothing wrong with idealizing your partner at the beginning of a relationship. It is a natural and necessary part of being in love. But, the purpose of love and relationships is to move beyond the idealization phase. Both of you are supposed to grow in understanding and acceptance.
In a mature relationship, you both accept each other’s faults while motivating and supporting each other to do and be better.
Many people look down on jealousy in a relationship. We think of it as an unattractive trait in ourselves or our partners. But, I’d like to offer a different perspective.
To me, jealousy that is healthy and not obsessive is an unfulfilled desire. It means an unexpressed desire. In a relationship, these unexpressed desires are not material things. They are not items or behaviors you can own. In relationships, romantic or otherwise, there is no such thing as ownership–just a willingness to share and give.
So, when you find yourself feeling jealous about something in your relationship, figure out what is your unfulfilled desire. Once you figure it out, talk to your partner. It is best to talk instead of letting your jealousy fester. Unresolved jealousy can create destructive patterns or distance.
Relationships survive when you both communicate.
A mature relationship needs to be stable. Both of you need to be on the same page and share the same goals and intentions.
During the early stages of a relationship, everything moves fast. It feels passionate and dramatic, and red flags and boundaries are ignored. But, at this point, none of you fully know each other. You just know the best parts of each other.
At the beginning of a relationship, the dynamics are based on sexual encounters and brief moments of vulnerability. As you get to know, understand, and mature in love, the dynamics of the relationship shift. As a result, you feel more stable in the love you share.
Support is one way of showing someone you love them. In the early stages of a relationship, the most support many of us can offer is happiness–a promise to be happy around each other.
As the relationship grows, you both open up to each other, becoming more vulnerable with each other. Eventually, you both open up to each other–confiding and supporting one another through difficult moments.
Support and understanding motivate both of you to endure the adversities either of you might face.
No relationship lasts forever, and there is no formula to help you achieve a long-lasting relationship. However, mature relationships help you grow as a person.
Rose, A. (2022). Mature love vs. immature Love. Instagram. Retrieved 2022, from https://www.instagram.com/p/CaPe1rkrd5D/