Alessandra Goes Alves
Allow yourself to feel pain
Don't pretend the pain or minimize it. Admit it, accept and learn from it, Take time to yourself, cry, write, rest, listen to music that don't bring the other person to your mind. Talk to yourself in the way you prefer and try to describe to you the emotions you feel, how it expresses in your body and what you're able to do to reduce these pains.
Don't expect to convince your crush to like you
Love is reciprocal and must nourish both. If you have already demonstrated that you are interested in the other person and didn't feel a reciprocal answer, don't think that more time or some of your energy will make the other love you. You deserve someone that treat you as nice as you treat her/him.
Delete phone number and profile on social media of your crush
Avoid harmful thoughts
Some patterns of thinking can sabotage your healing process, such as that you will never be happy again neither love someone in the same way you loved that person. Remember that things change and how you feel now won't last forever. Life is a gift and it's important not to waste it with people that is not disposed to share her/his energy and love with you.
Write a list of your qualities
It's common to have our self-estetem shaken after a broken heart. Try to write down the things you like on yourself and what did you learn from the experience with your crush.
Avoid blaming you or the other person
A relationship and its end results from the interaction between two people. Instead of blaming yourself or your crush, put your energy on healing from the process. Don't allow your friends to blame the other for the breaking up. Thank for their support, but ask for help to forget your crush and move on.
See the process as an opoprtunity to grow up and learn about yourself
Trust that this moment is just a moment and will pass. Remember the nice things that you learned about yourself and lived in the experience, such as being courageous to expose your vulnerabilities to the other, even not being requited. Suffering is not the most pleasant way to grow up, but try to learn more about you from it. Remember that you are not the only person that lived this and that fragilities are part of life.
Dedicate time to yourself doing things you enjoy
When we love someone, we dedicate time and energy for that person. Sometimes we forget about yourselves and stop doing things we really enjoy to stay with the other. Recovering from a unrequited love can be an opportunity to learn new things that you liked but forgot because of the crush (such as playing an instrument, doing a course or practising a sport).
This list may help you to connect to yourself and move on with your life, instead of wasting all your energy trying to have a relationship that is not reciprocal. Not having a love to share with someone is hard, but this experience is essential to verify what we really want and to open spaces to relationships that really feed us.