Mental Illness Recovery Series: Story # 40
This is the 40th story of the Mental Illness Recovery Series. Paul has been broken down since he was a young boy, but through cheer will, determination and help he has been able to turn his life around. This is his story:
Paul is a writer from Pennsylvania and he enjoys watching reality television, especially the ones that make him laugh. Paul said, “I Love Kellie Pickler, Chrisley Knows Best and Keeping Up With The Kardashians.” He is fond of music and likes spending time with his family. Paul said, “I really love my Grandma and Mom; they’re my hero’s.” He also enjoys spending every second with his boyfriend, Jon. Paul has recently read and fell in love with, Holly Madison: Down The Rabbit Hole and Marilyn: Her Life In Her Own Words. Paul’s favorite series ever is from his spiritual advisor, Rhonda Byrne, he said, “Her books, and words help me every day in life. She is the author of The Secret.” His main goal is to be the happiest he can be. He said, “I know a few books from my novel series will be out by then, and I will be full force sharing my talents with the world, which is everything I have ever wanted.”
Paul suffers from depression, anxiety and attention defect disorder. He doesn’t like to place blame and through his healing he has forgiven, embraced and uses each moment to help himself instead of letting it go against him. Paul has been singled out by children and adults since; pre-k to past high school, he was sexually assaulted by a teenage boy when he was nine as well as almost being kidnapped. Not only that, but in the fifth grade a teacher told Paul, he was special-ed. Thankfully, he has come to terms with his past traumas. He said, “I took back the light people tried to steal from me, and with each negative encounter I grew stronger. There are parts of me I won’t ever get back, I grew up fast because I needed too but I took back my life, because those people would never say sorry or take the blame.”
Paul currently seeks treatment from a family doctor. He said, “You need to stay on top of it, because like it or not, it’s part of you who are. Once you embrace it you’ll realize the power you have.” His mental illnesses affected his daily life in many ways. At times, Paul felt scared of the day ahead, because he never knew when a panic attack would come, but he has gained a lot of control. He has moments when he feels like his boyfriend will leave him; because of all the times he was told by guys that he could never be loved. But he knows none of it is real, because it is all in his mind. Paul has little secret signs that he asked the universe to show him throughout the day, and when he sees them, it reminds him that he is loved and everything will be okay. He said, “The universe is a powerful loving force. Everyone needs to connect with her.”
Paul always carries himself with glamour. He relates to Marilyn Monroe in his own way. When it came to dating he used to tease men a lot. Paul said, “I loved powerful men, but never liked to lose power. Looking back it was to get revenge on the boy that hurt me when I was younger, because they always wanted me for my body, and not my heart.” He used to party underage and used a fake I.D. He would also skip town with a few of his acting friends to New York City and did a lot of things behind his friends, and parent’s backs. He wrote about a lot of it in his poetry book, Who I Am: Poetry.
Paul never thought about hurting others, because he knows pain. Sadly he did attempt to end his life at 17 because all the lies he made finally caught up to him. He said, “Once I placed the call they raced to my rescue. I’m grateful I was saved, because the joy I feel in my heart now.” That was a defining moment for Paul that something needed to be done. Paul’s friendships wasn’t much affected, but he did suffer a lot when it came to dating. He said, “I wear my heart on my sleeve, so I have great friends I had for a longtime, but when it came to dating I really suffered. I was one of the crazy people!”
Paul always felt trapped, but would never stop fighting to break free. His turning point was when he was introduced to The Secret Series about 4 years ago. Ever since then his life has been filled with so much love, and blessings. He is so happy and grateful for it! Paul said, “Even on the days I struggle, I know I am blessed, which is the truth of how I overcame it.” He has many ways to maintain control; by giving gratitude before even stepping out of bed and giving thanks for his day ahead. He also has a journal where he writes 10 things every day that he is grateful for. Paul’s fans help him every day with all their beautiful words and support. Not only that, but his family, friends and boyfriend are always there for him, including God, for always listing to him.
This experience has taught Paul to love everything about life and himself. He doesn’t ever want to relive his past, but wouldn’t want change anything because he is here today and happy. This is his advice for others struggling through similar situations:
“Never give up on you. Read some self-help, or uplifting stories. Also, here is my own quote I wrote for my poetry book, and I have it placed on the front page of my website: “Remember to love yourself in every way, to be who you are, to become all you have ever dreamed no matter what stands, or stood in your way, to look in the mirror and say this is who I am.”” ~Paul Travis
Paul would also love to share this:
“I want to send all my blessings and love to each one of you struggling. From the bottom of my heart, thank you, for joining me on my journey. Remember, we are not a victim of emotional conflicts…we are human! Now, go walk that runway and show the world the beautiful star you are! Xo”
You can continue to follow Paul on his journey by following him on twitter @paultravis_ or checking out his website www.paultravis.net. It makes me happy to share this story of recovery with all of you. Paul is a strong and determined young man and with his ambition he can make it anywhere he wants. Help me make a difference by sharing your story.