Psychologically, Loneliness Is Not About How Many Friends You Have, It’s About Feeling Disconnected From The Rest Of The World

            German psychiatrist Frieda Fromm-Reichmann said that loneliness is “such a painful, frightening experience that people will do practically everything to avoid it.” We’ve all felt completely alone and isolated, even though we are connected to friends and family, and talk to those people on a regular basis. But we can talk to people and be around them and still feel lonely. How many of us really connect? How many of us have quality relationships that make us feel that we are appreciated and loved?

Being lonely encompasses many feelings like:

  • feeling that you do not have a meaningful bond with those around you
  • not feeling connected to others/feeling disconnected
  • not feeling that you are understood
  • feeling dissatisfied with the quality and/or quantity of your communication with others
  • the feeling of not belonging

(http://www.verybestquotes.com/being-surrounded-by-the-wrong-people-loneliness-quotes/)

            A study by the Rush University Medical Center found that “feeling alone or empty relates to the quality of relationships, not the quantity.” This was a longitudinal study with the objective to find a connection between loneliness and Alzheimer’s in old age. The researchers assessed the level of loneliness of 823 senior citizens with a 5 item scale questionnaire and repeated this assessment each year for 4 years. The researchers monitored the participants for any signs of dementia by testing cognitive functions and assessed them for social isolation indicators. The study suggests that loneliness is a definite risk factor for Alzheimer’s disease. In my opinion, it is important to note that the researchers use the words “suggests” and “associated”, so that the reader knows that they are not saying that loneliness is not a leading cause, but a factor. The study does mention that there isn’t a perfect correlation between loneliness (feeling alone) and social isolation (being alone), though they are related. Since this study relies on the individuals measuring their loneliness, there may be some inaccuracies. Not to say that people are not capable of telling if they are lonely or not, but there are many overlapping emotional and physical factors that can make you feel that you are lonely. For example, are you really lonely or are you just feeling blue that day? Loneliness can be a symptom of many things, such as depression and grief, so measuring it can be difficult.

            Loneliness means having a lack of connection with other people; a missing bond. You can be surrounded by others and be lonely. In a world where we are so connected, we lack true connection with others. Sure you have over a hundred Facebook friends, but when was the last time you had a meaningful conversation with someone that made you feel understood? When was the last time you felt truly connected to another person?

Sources:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wander-woman/201301/you-could-be-lonely-even-if-you-have-friends

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/62458.php

http://psychcentral.com/lib/are-you-lonely/000731

Weiss, R. (1975). The Study of Loneliness. In Loneliness: The Experience of Emotional and Social Isolation. The MIT Press.

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