Psychology Behind Why He Got Your Number But Never Called/Texted

Short Anecdote: My girlfriend met a guy at the lounge last week. They danced and exchanged numbers. He agreed to go to her birthday celebration in a few days.  She texted him: “hope you made it home safely” after we left. Homeboy never texted her back, nor did he go to her birthday celebration.

Why do guys ask for a girl’s number if they don’t end up calling/texting her? A writer from collected data from 30 straight men in why they would ask a girl for her number but not text/call her (I’ve also included a few of my own interpretations, as well).

1. Location and Time

If a man met you in the afternoon at a subtle place (coffee shop, grocery store, mall, etc.), he’s more likely to follow up with a text or call. Non-sexual environments like these allow our minds to be in a much clearer state to see if there’s a real connection or not.

“If we ask for a girl’s number during the day, we really want it. It took balls to ask. We saw something there, and we’re going to use it” Montgomery* stated.



2. Sobriety Level

Guys at bars drink. Period. There really is almost no exception. Therefore, when these fellas ask for a number, they most likely won’t remember much detail the next day. They might forget to call/text you, they forget that they agreed to come out to your birthday celebration (aka my girl’s situation) , or they forget just how attractive you were or how the connection was.

“It seems like a great idea at the time, then the next day, you can’t remember what you saved her in your phone as. Or a variety of other details that are usually deemed important when considering asking a girl out. Going on dates is kind of stressful. You want to be absolutely sure you like the girl. If you can’t remember stuff, it’s not worth the risk” says Bud Light.



 3. He Wants to (Nicely) Ditch You

He wasn’t into you. He didn’t want to directly reject you so he opted out the easy way and asked for your number. Then he vanished away. This is similar to saying “Oh I have to go to the restroom!” or “I have to find my friend!” (I’ve utilized these two statements many times).


 4. The Challenge

It’s an ego booster. Just like how online dating is an ego booster-you’re getting all these hits and can now validate that you still got that “IT” factor.

 “Guys are going out to meet girls, for sure, but we’re not on the hunt for relationships. Getting a number is like a bit of validation — it says you still have the charm. You’ve got game.”


5. He’s Afraid

Just two hours ago, a dear guy friend of mine was saying how he can ONLY approach girls if he is 1) high on drugs or 2) drinking a lot. It’s understandable-alcohol and drugs give us this almost surreal sense of confidence (not encouraging anyone to utilize them though…).

Same goes for nearly every guy. He had the courage to ask for your number last night. But now that he’s back to “normal” confidence level, he will wonder: “What if she was just trying to be nice? What if I go for it and ask her out, but she never responds to my text?”

Ladies: have you ever experienced a guy getting your number and not texting you? Men: have you ever done this to ladies (it’s okay, we won’t bash you!)?



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  1. Yeah he’s a number five. Home boy already had a girl. One day he flirted with me at work (we both work at McDonald’s) like a BUNCH and asked for my number at the end. I, being desperate and also too polite to say no, gave it to him and then saw him with his girlfriend at school a couple days later. I don’t mind being flirted with. I rather like it, actually. It’s just when you give me false hope that you’ve gone too far.

  2. My situation is different but this could shed some light on what’s going on for me. I’m working weekends at a popular restaurant and everyday I have anywhere from 1-10 woman hitting on me. The compliments are always about my looks and I usually reciprocate. Sometimes depending on the woman I’ll suggest she takes my number but the odd thing is it never really goes anywhere. Where as in different settings when I exchange info it almost always develops into something. Maybe not significant but something…

  3. I don’t believe most men over 30 are womanless. I’m 25 and the guy that asked for my number is 34. I really feel like this was an ego thing, and that he has a woman at home. That’s usually what my situation is since I prefer older men.

  4. my story, he gave me a lift and asked for my number but never called , what could that be?

  5. Guy here, Have done it, got a girl’s number at the optometrist, during morning hours she was one of the receptionist, she was super cute and super hot and asking for her number needed basically made me go in debt with my courage tab, think like a credit card of courage. and since she was a receptionist i made sure i got her personal number instead of thee office number kind of made the mistake of asking if i could call that number (i do not believe in calling before texting because i have had a couple of horrible experiences about “calling without consent”) so that night i text her something simple like being glad that we can get to know each other a little better, she doesn’t even bother checking the text in fact the message only appeared as “Seen” 4 months after i got her number so of course i see that the message isnt even “Seen” and assume i’ve been given a fake number, which is something you get used to as a guy, i dont pay too much attention to it and move on with my life, so when i go back to the optometrist this girl is really rude to me then when i asked her what her problem was and she calls me out for never calling.


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