10 Unexpected Ways Self-Love Can Change Your Life

If you are reading this, congratulations. Curiosity about self-love is the first part of the journey. If you are curious, it means that you recognize that you could love yourself a bit more. We all could. Personally, looking back, there are moments in my life where I could have loved myself a bit more. Maybe things would be different now. Who knows. The point of this article is not to dwell on the past. The point is to strengthen your conviction about self-love. 

Self-love can change your life! Really! Here’s how. 

  • It can improve your health.

The most obvious and form of self-love is self-care. We all have different ideas of what self-care is or looks like, but essentially, self-care is a way to meet your needs and to improve your overall well-being. As you develop self-love, you will begin to make time for things that make you feel better in the long run, such as working out or making a healthy recipe. To practice self-care is to recognize your needs and do activities that meet them. If you are somewhat of a workaholic, developing self-love will guide you to make choices that protect you rather than hurt you. For example, you might not work on the weekends or take business calls after 5:30 pm. 

  • Your relationships may change.

There is a modern-day adage about relationships, which goes: we accept the love we think we deserve. I am not an expert in relationships but loving yourself and how you love yourself sets an example for how others should love you. On your journey to self-love you might want to take stock of your current relationships. Ask yourself what are my relationships like now, what is my role in this relationship, do I like it or do I want it to change? These questions help clarify your boundaries–what are willing to accept. 

If you love yourself, you will find that you will be a bit less tolerant of any behavior that undermines how you’ve decided to treat yourself. For example, if you were in an abusive relationship, after developing self-love, you will have enough strength to walk away.  Your self-worth and personhood will not be dependent on how others perceive you but rather on how you see you. Self-love can also help you through heartbreaks. I am not saying that self-love will prevent them, but it will make you a bit more resilient against them. You will be less likely to blame yourself for everything. 

  • You will build confidence.

Part of self-love is the ability to unconditionally accept all of you. Everything. Warts and all. Once you’ve learned to accept who you are and still be open to the possibility of improvement, your self-confidence will soar. Though insecurities will surface, they will not overwhelm you. You will develop the emotional maturity to acknowledge them and try to be better. 

  • Your self-worth may improve.

Along with your self-confidence, your self-worth will also improve. As a result, you will feel more capable of taking risks and going after you want. Because you will feel more comfortable in your abilities, your drive and motivation towards curtailed goals will remerge. Additionally, you will strive to work hard for the things you actually want and not settle. 

  • You will develop your own style.

Style or swag is not a fashion accessory. It is a state of mind. It is your own unique signature that translates into what you wear and how you wear it. Swag is self-assuredness. Someone self-assured or self-possessed knows who they are. Swag is not achieved through false bravado or fake self-confidence but through the process of knowing yourself and being comfortable in your own skin. You know what you like and what you don’t, and you communicate it to others unabashedly but respectfully. 

  • How you relate to family and friends might be different.

Self-love will change your relationships with your family and friends. You will prioritize your needs. So, you might not say yes to all the events and activities your friends will want you to partake in, especially if you are tired. Also, you might distance yourself from toxic people, even if they are family or old friends. You will start to live for yourself, not for other’s expectations for you.  

Additionally, you may find you forgive easier. Self-love will urge you to forgive others because you will realize how harmful it is to hold on to grudges. 

  • Self-love will help you find happiness.

In most healthy relationships, you will want your significant other to be happy. Similarly, you’ll want the same when you enter into a relationship with yourself. When you prioritize your self, you will leave behind the things that are bringing you down. Self-love allows you to step into the life that you’ve always wanted. 

  • You will feel less insecure.

When you cultivate self-love, everyone’s opinions about you fade away to the point where they no longer matter. Consequently, the only opinion that will matter to you is yours. Hence, you will not be easily offended by other people’s passing comments. 

  • Self-love may make you more resilient.

It is easy to take failures personally. You may find yourself beating yourself up about something you did not do or could have done differently. However, when you have self-love, it will be easier to experience failures. Because you’ve already developed a strong sense of self, you will realize that failure does not define you. You will see them as growth opportunities instead of attacks. You will also be kinder and more compassionate to yourself. Failures will no longer feel like you are shattering against a concrete floor.

  • You will be more humble.

Self-love teaches you acceptance– of both the acceptable and seemingly unacceptable parts of yourself. As a result, you will see clearly your areas of weakness and therefore accept help when you need it. Self-love will also allow you to extend compassion and support to others in the same way that you’ve given it to yourself. You will also be less envious or jealous of others because you have stopped comparing yourself to others. 

Love is a powerful force. Some even say that it can move mountains–make the impossible possible. But, love can also work in the most mundane circumstances. It helps you heal and, with time, blossom. The journey to self-love is not pretty, and it certainly is not easy, but it is worth it. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. 

Did you find this article helpful? What steps are you planning to take to help you practice self-love? If you feel like sharing, let us know in the comments below how this article has been useful.

And as always, take care! 


Abrams, A. (2019, June 27). The Arduous Journey to Self-Love. Retrieved November 26, 2020, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/nurturing-self-compassion/201906/the-arduous-journey-self-love

Baratta, M., Ph.D., L.C.S.W. (2018, May 27). Self Care 101. Retrieved 2020, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/skinny-revisited/201805/self-care-101

Epra Salvador, C. (2017, April 10). How Loving Yourself Can Truly Change Your Life. Retrieved November 26, 2020, from https://thoughtcatalog.com/carmela-epra-salvador/2017/04/how-loving-yourself-can-truly-change-your-life/

Estroff Marano, H. (2016, June 9). Your Trump Card: Self-Love. Retrieved November 26, 2020, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200211/your-trump-card-self-love

Kolton, A. (2019, October 30). 7 Amazing Things That Happen When You Start Loving Yourself More. Retrieved November 26, 2020, from https://tinybuddha.com/blog/7-amazing-things-that-happen-when-you-start-loving-yourself-more/

Sommer, E. (2020, May 22). Why Loving Yourself Changes The World. Retrieved November 26, 2020, from https://livepurposefullynow.com/why-loving-yourself-changes-the-world/

Xu, A. (2017, October 25). 11 Ways Self Love Will Change Your Life. Retrieved 2020, from https://www.lavendaire.com/11-ways-self-love-will-change-life/#:~:text=Self%20love%20will%20also%20change,at%20the%20expense%20of%20others

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