Should You Make Your Move?

“Introverts treasure the close relationships they have stretched so much to make.”

Adam S. McHugh

Dating is hard. I mean, really really hard. You have to put yourself out there and then fight with your inner dialogue through the entire date. Should you hold her hand? What about putting your arm around her shoulder? She might not like that though. What about a kiss at the end of the night? Maybe she wants you to kiss her. Then again maybe she doesn’t.

Guys have to face the possibility of rejection often. Every time you want to ask a girl out you have to dig deep and summon the courage to ask knowing that she may say no. No one likes to be rejected. It feels like crap and the first question you ask yourself when someone says, “no thank you”, is “what’s wrong with me?” Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you. You look great, you’re stylish, you smell good. It just works that way sometimes.

That is plain old regular dating. The kind of dating where the girl flirts a little and stands a little closer when she is interested in you.  What happens when the girl you like is the quiet type? You know, the one who sits comfortably by herself staring out the window. She never speaks up in class or in meetings. Sometimes she pauses and speaks with another person but mostly she is content to be by herself. How will you ever know if she is even aware of your existence?


The Introverted Woman

Women are difficult to read, but introverted women are almost impossible. They are shy and quiet and withdraw quickly choosing their personal space over sharing it with others. She doesn’t confide her feelings in friends, so you won’t be able to get any clues there.

Introverted women rarely, if ever, flirt. They don’t come right out and tell you they are interested in getting to know you better. Instead, they will show you by using body language or indirectly by asking for help with something. For example, she may ask for help with her math homework even though she knows exactly how to do it.

People often confuse an introverted person with an emotionless person. But, when it comes to love, introverted women are not any different than the rest of us. They love the idea of being in love and secretly want to find their knight in shining armour.

Her Tell Signs

If you want to know for sure how she feels about you, you must be patient and watch closely or you may not notice how she is telling you. There’s a delicate balance between moving too fast and moving too slow. Pay close attention.

As you read these signs, know that you must always take the environment into consideration. If she gives a sign she isn’t interested, look around. Are you in a crowded, noisy place? Is she busy with something else? The environment matters to an introvert.

Also remember that although you may read the signs as a green light to make your move, if at any time she has verbalized she doesn’t want to or has said no, then stop. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 hundred dollars, and don’t be a creeper. Let her be.

Here are a few ways an introverted woman will indicate that she is into you too.

  • She stares at you when you are not looking – This is self-explanatory. Sometimes you might get that eerie feeling you are being watched and when you look up, you notice her quickly turning away.
  • She shows up at your normal hangouts – If you suddenly seem to see her everywhere you go, it isn’t a coincidence. She will either pretend as though you are not there or be surprised that she “happened” to run into you.
  • She finds excuses to be near you – Maybe she ends up right behind you in line or she was going that way anyway, so she goes along with you.
  • She asks for help she probably doesn’t need – There will be something that she says she needs help with. Maybe a math question or notes from a meeting. She could get these answers anywhere, but she chooses you.
  • She is shy but more so towards you – If you see here easily talking with other guys, but she seems unable to speak to you or hold a conversation, that is a good sign.
  • She laughs at everything funny thing you say – She laughs even when you are totally dweebing it and you say something stupid.
  • She gets quiet when you enter the room – You may hear her chatting and laughing before you walk in, but the second you move through the door she stops and becomes absorbed in the color of the carpet.
  • Her friend teases her when you walk by – Have you ever had that happen? You walk past two girls and one begins teasing the other and it’s clear the friend knows something you don’t

Another way to know if an introverted woman likes you is if, over a short amount of time, she begins to let you into her world. She tells you about her dreams, her goals and aspirations, and her fears. It takes a great deal of trust for her to stop hiding alone in her world. She must feel safe with you and know that you do not intend to judge or criticize her.

Everyone shows signs of being attracted to someone in their own way. In addition to the what I have discussed here, remember that we are all unique with our own little quirks and desires. We may do all of these things to express our interest, but likely, you’ll find the person does something a bit different or special in relation to you.

Introverted women have pure hearts and want someone to share their space from time to time. They want to love and be loved. They want to share their life. Well, most of their life. Don’t be offended if once you’ve won her over, she asks for some time alone in a quiet place. That is how she recharges so she can fully give her heart to you.



Jones, S. (n.d.). Howe to Know if She Wants You to Make a Move. Retrieved from Introverted Alpha:

Schmidt, S. J. (2016). Personality Diversity: Extrovert and Introvert Temperaments. Journal of Food Science Education, 15(3).



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