Have you ever wished there was some foolproof way to know if someone was attracted to you? Well, you wouldn’t be the first. Human interaction is a complex dance of emotions and signals, and one of the most exhilarating experiences is discovering whether someone is attracted to you.
While each person may exhibit their interest in unique ways, there are certain universal cues and behaviors that can help you decipher their feelings. This video explores various psychology-backed strategies and techniques to “test” others and gain insight into whether they may have romantic or emotional attraction towards you according to experts. With that said, let’s dive deeper into the intriguing world of decoding attraction.
1. Body Language
According to Vanessa Van Edwards, communications expert and founder of The Science of People, body language can reveal volumes about a person’s feelings and attraction. So pay close attention to the following signs:
a) Eye Contact: When someone is attracted to you, they tend to maintain eye contact for longer periods. It’s also been scientifically proven that our pupils naturally dilate because of the dopamine that we produce when we’re happy to see someone, says therapist Dr. Janet Brito.
b) Physical Proximity: People naturally gravitate towards those they are attracted to, says Van Edwards. So if someone consistently finds ways to be physically close to you, such as standing or sitting in your personal space, it’s a good indication of their romantic interest in you. You can test this out by sitting far from them, for example, and seeing if they move closer.
c) Mirroring: Subconscious mirroring is another clear sign of attraction, so observe if the person imitates your gestures, posture, speech patterns, or other mannerisms. If they do, Van Edwards says that it signifies a desire to establish rapport and connection, as well as a strong attraction towards you.
2. Verbal and Non-Verbal Cues
Beyond body language, there are specific verbal and non-verbal cues that can provide valuable insights into someone’s attraction towards you, such as:
a) Active Listening: When someone is interested in you, they display attentive listening skills, explains Van Edwards. They engage in meaningful conversation, ask questions, and genuinely show interest in your opinions, experiences, and stories. So keep this in mind next time you’re talking to them to check if they’re attracted to you.
b) Teasing and Flirting: According to psychologist Dr. Ronald Riggio, someone who is attracted to you will often give genuine praise and other affirmations (e.g., smiling, nodding) to make you feel good about yourself, so look out for these cues. Clinical psychologist Stephanie Mintz also says that light-hearted and playful banter are common when attraction is present, so why not try to start teasing them about something in a friendly way to subtly flirt with them and see if they respond likewise?
3. Consistency in Communication
Consistency in communication is another powerful indicator of attraction, according to clinical psychologist Dr. Kristina Hallett. So consider the following aspects:
a) Prompt Responses: Does this person consistently respond to your messages or calls promptly? Send them something to test if they do and gauge how attentive they are to you. If they prioritize your interactions, it’s most likely because they’re attracted to you.
b) Initiating Contact: Take note of who initiates conversations or plans to meet. Because according to Dr. Hallett, someone who goes out of their way to initiate or extend conversations with you is demonstrating their attraction to you (be it consciously or unconsciously). This proactive effort to spend more time with you also shows that they want to deepen your connection.
Decoding attraction is not an exact science, as everyone expresses their feelings differently. However, by observing body language, analyzing verbal and non-verbal cues, assessing consistency in communication, and trusting your intuition, you can gain valuable insights into whether someone is attracted to you. Remember to approach these tests with an open mind and consider the larger context of your relationship or interactions.
- Van Edwards, V. (2023). 4 Ways to Instantly Tell When Someone is Attracted to You. Science of People. https://www.scienceofpeople.com/know-someone-attracted/
- Van Edwards, V. (2023). How to Tell If Someone Likes You: 7 Cues You Need to Know. Science of People. https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
- Brito, J. & Kandola, A. (2020 Apr 27). Dilated pupils meaning: Is it a sign of love? Medical News Today. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/dilated-pupils-meaning
- Riggio, R. E. (2019, October 16). 8 Key Nonverbal Signals of Sexual Interest. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201910/8-key-nonverbal-signals-of-sexual-interest
- Daniel, F., & Hallett, K. (2020, December 19). How To Know If Someone Likes You: 27 Signs Of Attraction. mbg relationships. https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/signs-of-attraction