The Benefits of the Blues

Have you ever questioned the value of feeling good? It doesn’t have to be happiness. It can be one of the many in the spectrum: contentment, excitement, calmness. Have you ever questioned its value? Why was it there in the first place? Why won’t it go away? Why would you even want it to go away?

In truth, no one questions the ‘feel good’ vibes everybody gets once in a while. In fact, it seems that for the past 20 years, everyone has been on a relentless quest to reach that much clamoured for bliss; as Matthew Hutson of Psychology Today puts it, “in pursuit of permanent residence on the spectrum between contentment and ecstasy”.

But negative emotions are a whole different ball game. We often do everything in our power to rid ourselves of any and all traces of the ebbing pain in our chests for subjective reasons that boil down to one thing: because we don’t want them there.

“The science of well-being has forgotten that the world is an uncertain, complex place filled with people who often are annoying and obnoxious” says Todd Kashan, a psychologist at George Mason University, and co-author to The Upside to your Dark Side.

According to a character in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, “pain demands to be felt”. Which is very much true. The negative spectrum – pain, agony, sadness, frustration, jealousy, among other things are very strong emotions that would take a very experienced person to control – let alone hide. Sometimes, we fail to remember that we are not programed to feel only one spectrum of our psychological emotions, nor stay in just one category for that matter.

What we have is the ability to experience life in full view, one side limits us. And contrary to popular belief the negatives does not hinder us. “We have the wrong idea about emotions,” Hutson says in his article. “They are very rational; they are tools carved by eons of human experience to direct us where we need to go.”

In this light, it can be considered that thee negative emotions can be used to accent our primal survival instinct. It can tell us that we’re unhappy with our jobs and that we need to find something that would be better suited for us. It could clue us in aspects of our lives that seriously need attention, and because these strong emotions demands to be felt, it’s going to be so difficult for us to ignore the warning signs.

I guess what makes this bad is that people often, well, feel bad or ashamed whenever they experience something so negative; like missing a friend’s birthday party for example. This is totally normal, however it’s also integral for a person’s growth and overall well-being to experience these negative emotions as well.

Talk about anger and sadness being two very important parts of our daily lives. And according to a new study, experiencing and accepting these two are integral in our mental health. Attempting to suppress thoughts can backfire and even diminish our sense of contentment. “Acknowledging the complexity of life may be an especially fruitful path to psychological well-being,” says psychologist Jonathan M. Adler of the Franklin W. Olin College of Engineering. Alexia LaFata, a writer for Elite Daily has even written down on the specifics, on how do these emotions helps us with our daily lives.

In conclusion, it’s not all bad feeling bad. We can’t really grow and develop as a person if we always feel calm and contented. It takes pressure to make a diamond, and it takes hardship to mold us into the best versions of ourselves. Of course, everything is done in moderation in order to maintain balance in our lives. What about you? How do you deal with negative emotions? Do you suppress it or acknowledge it? And how do you think these negative emotions affect you? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

References:

• Beyond Happiness: The Upsides of Feeling Down. Matthew Hutson .Psychology Today. February 2015
• Alexia LaFata. (December 18, 2014). 7 Negative Emotions That Have Really Positive Effect on your Life. In Elite Daily. Retrieved July 27, 2015, from http://elitedaily.com/life/negative-emotions-good-for-you/881761/.
• Tori Rodriguez. (April 11, 2013). Negative Emotions are Key to Wellbeing. In Scientific American. Retrieved July 25, 2015, from http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/negative-emotions-key-well-being/?page=2.