Learn How to Say “No” To Avoid Burnout

Bar in Downtown Fullerton Thursday? Lounge on Friday? Clubbing on Saturday?

The above are my girlfriend’s weekly schedule-best believe they’re FULLY embracing that whole “young, wild and free lifestyle”! Being the naturally social gal I am, I’ve always had a lot of temptation…I’ll admit I (almost) ALWAYS want to go out. But, what overrides my temptation? Discipline (thank my lovely parents for that). School comes first to me and sometimes, I’d rather just be chilling with my little sister or at the gym than getting high energy and all. When I moved out of the rents house and could no longer utilize the whole “I have a curfew” excuse, I found it difficult saying “no” to my buddies. Not because I wanted to go out, but because I didn’t want to lose the friendship I had with them (I’m a VERY assertive person but still found it difficult saying “no”).

Are you always committing to back to back activities? Do you find yourself having a hard time declining an event offer? Are there just not enough hours in the day for you to do all that you need to do? My fellow peeps: we must learn how to say “no”!!

Experts are always informing us that a healthy lifestyle requires balance: work, play and sleep. We only have 168 hours in a week and more than 1/3 of that should be dedicated to rejuvenating our minds through sleep. Most individuals either 1) work too much or 2) have fun too much and that’s where it becomes dangerous: we stray away from our sleeping and exercising hours. (Red Bull and I are VERY familiar with this pattern…).

People who commit to more projects than they can take on tend to do things inefficiently. Instead of doing a million things in an average way, why not do half of those things in an exceptional way? How do we do this? Say no to the things that just don’t align with our priorities.

“’No’ may be the most powerful word in the language, but it’s also the most destructive, which is why it’s hard to say,” says William Ury, director of the Global Negotiations Project at Harvard University. “[saying no is difficult because it creates] tensions between exercising your power and tending to your relationship”. Regardless of how difficult it might be to say “no”, we must all learn the skill and there are ways to making it easier to master!

What are the steps to declining a request?

Most of us say yes automatically because of anxiety, we over-estimate our abilities and/or we just don’t want to let people down. The next time you’re asked of a request, rationally think: do I have time to do this? Do I really even want to do this? If you’re hesitant, DON’T automatically say yes. Say: “When do you need to know the answer by? Let me think about it first and I’ll get back to you” or “Let me check my schedule that day and see if I can fit it in!” It’s hard for us to think logically when we’re put on the spot, so do yourself a favor and give yourself leeway to think about the opportunity more extensively.

We all have priorities, goals and commitments. Does the request/opportunity correctly align with your lifestyle right now? If not, scratch it. You want to be generous, but you must always remember to help yourself before you help others.

When you finally determine your answer and it just happens to be no, always strive to say it in a polite manner. Empathize with the individual and show your appreciation that they gave you the honor to be included in their request/opportunity. Simply state that you have another task you have to commit to and they’ll surely respect your decision.

Are you a “yes” man/woman? What makes you say “yes” more than you know you should? What helpful tips did I not mention that you think would be sufficient?

Xoxo,

Chrissy

http://www.benchmarkpsychology.com.au/saying-no-a-beginners-guide/

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/06/30/how-to-say-no-and-make-it-stick/

http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/columnist/bruzzese/2013/11/17/on-the-job-saying-no/3525011/