When Our Thoughts, Feelings And Behaviors Are All Congruent We Are Happier
It’s all matchy matchy
For creatures who pride ourselves in being spontaneous and impulsive, we are actually surprising at our happiest when there is an order or pattern to things; when things match up and make sense. It’s almost like a puzzle, you can’t really appreciate the whole picture until you put everything together. And it is literally the most infuriating thing when you’re missing a piece or two and are left with holes in the picture. Not only are we upset by the fact that we didn’t get to complete the task, but also we are upset by the fact that without those missing pieces the rest of the puzzle doesn’t seem to make sense.
Just like the puzzle doesn’t make sense without the missing pieces, so too does it confound us when a person’s actions and or behaviors seem to be missing pieces, or not matching up. For instance, what if you saw a person who was smiling, but told you that they were in fact very angry and were thinking of violent things to appease this anger. Chances are you would be very confused because the expression they are showing does not match up to the emotions they are feeling. As such it is like there are some holes in their attitude and being. Furthermore chances are this person would also feel confused with the way in which they were acting, and this would cause them distress. In this situation the person is lacking congruence between their feelings and actions. Usually mood-congruence is the norm.
People usually easily show how they are feeling because it is the easiest way to express themselves. Congruence between ones emotions and their actions simply makes sense and is easiest to understand. Which is why it should come as no surprise that the people who are the happiest experience significant more amounts of mood congruence as opposed to those who do not. This because it takes no effort to match ones emotions with their actions, but it does take an effort to hide them or confuse others by not having them match up/ Furthermore when this phenomenon occurs involuntarily the person is likely to become frustrated because they are unable to fully communicate as effectively as they would like.
Do you think this idea of mood congruence stems from an evolutionary need to, in a sense, be an open book? Or have we simply refined this behavior in order better communicate with ourselves and others? Food for thought.
-Cassey
SOURCES
http://identitymagazine.net/2013/03/06/emotion-commotion-congruence/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jessica-larsen/the-secret-to-being-happy_b_5680613.html
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