This in an anonymous story of the Mental Illness Recovery Series. Anonymous suffered a mental breakdown leaving him in depression, but thankfully he has been honest with himself and that has helped him control his mental disorder. This is his story:
Anonymous is from Denmark and he is in a long distance relationship. He enjoys playing drums and computer games. He also loves to watch fantasy movies. His goal is to be with his family in the United States. Anonymous was diagnosed by a therapist with depression. His mental disorder was provoked by an anxiety attack. He is still working with the root of the problem with his therapist.
At first anonymous felt anxiety, he said, “I overthought and over-analyzed things to an extreme that was uncontrollable, I couldn’t feel myself, didn’t understand why I was so sad and angry at the same time. I didn’t have the energy to go to work or to even appreciate the things that I actually normally had fun doing. I wasn’t sure of myself and my self-worth dropped completely. I lost my confidence slowly and I couldn’t do my job properly.”
This affected his daily life in many ways. Anonymous became lazy and stopped cleaning. He never left his room and began smoking in it. He also stopped spending time with his friends. He said, “I didn’t have the energy and didn’t “feel” like being social. It still persists today.” Even though anonymous did not want to continue living, he did not consider suicide as an escape. He said, “It was not that I wanted to take my own life or even thought about it that way, it was more a mindset of: why even live?”
This affected his relationship with others. He lost a friend he thought was close to him, and lost count of all the people he used to talk to. Anonymous said, “My friend had enough of me and my constant pouting, he yelled at me and honestly made me feel worse but at the time, I sorta understood him.” This made him feel worthless and he thought he wouldn’t be able to improve.
The turning point for him was to realize that his emotions are valid and that it is okay to feel that way. Due to his mental breakdown he is in the process of discovering himself again. Anonymous continues to go to cognitive behavioral therapy and talks to his therapist about deep underlying emotions of abandonment and commitment issues.
This is his advice for others struggling with similar situations:
“It all gets better, keep grinding, keep focused on yourself and your emotions. All of your feelings and emotions are telling you what’s up. Telling you exactly what you need to be doing, sometimes it’s just hard to hear over the noise of other people. Remember, there is only one person in your life and that is you. You are the only person who can change your life, ask for help if needed but it all starts with you”
He also wants to share this:
“Continue struggling, don’t stop struggling. It is through your struggles you come through and develop. Everything will be better, I can promise you that, but all you have to do is to continue in the mess. There are many ways to overcome a depression and mental breakdown but one of the greatest ways is to give yourself very few but easy tasks each and every day. Today I will drink 2 glasses of water, tomorrow I will do the dishes – set small goals you can achieve easily and trust me, you’ll feel better but the best advice I can give and the last thing I want to share: Speak to a therapist”
Anonymous still has a long way to go, but I am sure little by little he will be able to feel more comfortable with himself. I hope he will be able to move soon with his family. Help me make a difference by sharing your story.