10 Signs A Psychopath Is Targeting You
Psychopaths are very dangerous individuals, but perhaps the most dangerous thing about them is the fact that they’re hard to spot – until it’s too late. Too many individuals have been drawn in and charmed by a psychopath, only to realize that a monster was lurking behind their seemingly charming facade. So it’s really important for everyone to learn how to spot a psychopath, especially those who are naturally trusting and friendly. These are the people psychopaths prey on. How do you tell if a psychopath is targeting you? Thankfully, psychopathy has been an area of high interest for many psychological researchers, and they’ve discovered many traits of psychopaths that will give them away – at least, if you know what to look for…
1. Grooming
Grooming is when psychopaths target and prepare their victims. Grooming can include a variety of different activities and tactics, but the aim is always the same: Win their trust and encourage submission in order to facilitate mental, physical, or sexual abuse. One example was detailed by writer and psychology researcher John Clarke in his book, Working With Monsters: How To Identify And Protect Yourself From Workplace Psychopaths. He talked of a psychopath who was targeting his female employees at work.
After this psychopath reached a high level within his corporate structure, he had the opportunity to hire assistants. He chose to hire only attractive female employees, and preferred those who had low self-confidence. He then groomed them by convincing them that they were attractive, on the basis that he was willing to have sex with them. After having sex with them, he grew bored with them and made their life a living hell before they were finally forced to resign. That’s one example of grooming, but there are many others.
2. Psychopaths Will Watch You Carefully
Psychopaths view victims very differently than you or I would look at someone. They see them as little more than prey, and the way they watch their “prey” is not that different from the hunting tactics of a lion. Many reveal that when talking to a psychopath, it seems like they’re not blinking or showing any emotion. That’s because they’re scanning you for any weakness. And one study showed that psychopaths are very good at it.
This study surveyed people who had scored very highly on psychopath tests, and showed them videos of people walking from behind. These psychopaths were very good at identifying the people who were more susceptible to attacks. The people they “chose” had either suffered past attacks or were exhibiting behavior commonly associated with weakness, such as small steps or slow gait. The researchers compared this ability to that of a lion picking out the weakest member of a pack of buffalo.
3. Psychopaths Appear As A Savior
Sometimes psychopaths watch you carefully to attack in a non-physical way. They will often come to you as a “savior,” pretending to have something you want or need. This was further detailed in John Clarke’s Working With Monsters: How To Identify And Protect Yourself From Workplace Psychopaths. In this book, he wrote that a corporate psychopath would “psycho-analyze” his victims. Once he found out what his co-worker needed, he would give it to them, earning their trust. Then, he would threaten to take that thing away from them, trapping them and leaving them open to manipulation.
For example, this psychopath would find men in his company who “wanted to belong.” This was very common. So he appeared as their leader, and encouraged them all to bully an overweight female employee. Once they had all been brought into this “club,” they couldn’t leave, out of fear of how the other employees would treat them after their bullying behavior. In this way, this corporate psychopath trapped his victims and was able to make them do things they wouldn’t normally do.
4. Psychopaths Will Use An Alias
This article also proposes an interesting link and possible overlap between psychopath and antisocial personality disorder. Many psychopaths display symptoms of both disorders. Interestingly, the article points out that those with antisocial personality disorder sometimes use aliases when targeting individuals, explaining one of the traits as: “deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure.”
5. A Psychopath Will Try To Charm You
The same article details a psychopath’s use of superficial charm when targeting victims. This is very important to note. When a psychopath approaches a victim, he or she will often seem incredibly charming. But the more sensitive and wary individuals will note that there is something wrong or “off” about this charm. It just doesn’t seem right. That’s because it’s all an act, and the psychopath doesn’t actually care about you.
John Clarke’s Working With Monsters: How To Identify And Protect Yourself From Workplace Psychopaths describes how this works in the corporate world, or any workplace for that matter. Co-workers described a psychopath as “good for a laugh,” and they professed that he was “exciting to be with, there was a real buzz in the air whenever Wayne was around.” This is an example of a psychopath who had convinced everyone that he was their friend, and this is very common.
Great article! Everything about this article was well done. I liked the way you open this article about how to really spot a psychopath and questions like how do I tell if a psychopath is targeting me or not? You also did a great job at providing appropriate evidence that ultimately back up your facts. On top of that you also opened my eyes to an interesting book that Ill have to check up on. Keep up the good work.
Thanks! I too will be checking up on the book!
This was a great article and really informative. This is such an important topic to cover, and should definitely be discussed more. Psychopaths aren’t always like the ones you see in movies, there are psychopaths we encounter in daily life as well. All of the information in this article was great, I loved that it explained how to spot a psychopath so people can watch out for the signs. I would be curious if there are specific things you can do when dealing with a psychopath though to keep yourself safe.
Over all, it was written really well and very intriguing and informative!
This article may have been informative but I think the basis of the information was a little unrealistic. The thing about a psychopath is that they operate not to be detected by their prey. If you are being targeted by a psychopath the chances are very low that you’re actually going to realize it until its too late. These are like “third- person” signs. These are signs someone from the outside can see. The way the article is worded makes me feel like these should be “Second-person” signs or signs that “you” can see. A person being targeted by a psychopath will not be able to see these signs, same as the people of Jonestown could not see the signs until it was too late.
Also unpleasant images does not make your reader want to keep reading. It’s a turn-off.
do not *
I completely agree with you !! These signs may be facts about psychopath, but I don’t see how some of them could be used to protect yourself.
This is not a topic I have ever read about before, so this was a very interesting read. Most people don’t think about the fact that psychopaths are more than just villains in books and movies. I have never actually considered the idea that I may have met one at some point in my life. That being said, I feel like there are certain parts of this article that could be rewritten more eloquently, one instance that stands out being the blunt usage of the phrase “watch you die.” Although this may be true, a less blunt approach to the topic will be more inviting to the reader. Also, although there were multiple sources used, the repetitive use of John Clarke’s book makes this article start to feel like a paper analyzing his work towards the end. I would recommend using his data more sparingly. Another thing I would change would be the images used. They feel a bit too creepy and horror movie-esque for the topic. Lastly, I think the inclusion of the conspiracy theory that Johnson had anything to do with Kennedy’s assassination was completely unnecessary.
These traits overlap with what I’ve read to be traits of domestic abusers and malignant narcassists. I believe that the general notion is that a narcassist may not be a psychopath, but a psychopath is narcissistic. It’s a little unfathomable to me how it is that something so volatile as the possession and illusion of power
control is to dysfunctional behavior.
You did a great job with explaining each trait. I noticed that you didn’t mention empathy, or behaviors that would be subtle cues of lack of empathy, such as not picking up a yawn.
Do you believe that not being susceptible to yawning is a useful indicator for possible psychopathy?
Covered psychopathic modus operandi that aren’t generally known! I am a true crime conisseur & have read profiler books, familiar with DSM manual etc, and the inclusiveness was a big surprise to me! I was once married to a sociopath who confused me so much , I had to record everything I said! I really liked the emphasis about how they are everywhere!
What I learned from my ex sociopathic spouse is do not trust those who seem perfect, aka Bundy!
Nobody has it all !
I agree with some of the other comments regarding writing errors, however, the content and explanations are so strong that these errors didn’t take away from the worth of the article!
JIt happened to me an independent well educated and well traveled woman. I felt very confident, and despite it all I was conned by a very attractive, intelłigegent man who took me foy
An interesting read. I liked the clear way the text was written in, though I would have appreciated less of the repetitive mention of John Clarke’s book. It would have been fine enough if you’d mentioned it perhaps twice, and then after that just referred to John Clarke, and continue on with what he wrote. Having the title of the book repeated so often almost made it sound like it was being advertised to us, instead of simply putting it out there as a reference point.
I would have also liked to read about the neurological differences in a person that would make them stand out and be considered psychopathic, even if it would just be a short paragraph; that way there might be a better understanding of the motives/reasons behind the points mentioned in this article [or perhaps in general merely explain what is psychopathy first].
Otherwise, a pleasantly short, albeit general, view on how to spot psychopaths.
I like the way this article was presented, with the images along with the text. However, psychopaths aren’t all dangerous or bad. Psychopathy is a personality disorder, and there are traits that can actually help people in their lives. Note, “The Good Psychopath’s Guide to Success.” By Andy McNab and Kevin Dutton for information on this.
I agree with what you’re saying. Many of the world’s most successful people probably had or have psychopathic personality disorder. This article was meant to me guide to spot when and IF a psychopath becomes dangerous. It is implied that the psychopath has already become a danger – we’re excluding “good” psychopaths from the discussion here right from the get go. But maybe I should have made that clearer.
I wonder what country the author of this article is from ? 🙂 I am interested because, depending on where you live, the diagnosis criteria defining a psychopath may really vary ! For example, “american psychopaths” have nothing to do with the french ones. The cultures are very different, so signs do not express themselves in the same way, and the pathologies themselves may not refer to the same things.
This could explain why I felt confused while reading this article : in my country, we hear about psychopaths in fiction, but they do not seem to be “everywhere”, and we see way more victims from abusive sociopaths than from psychopaths (but maybe there are countries where the two things are considered the same ?)
I’m actually Canadian!
Okay thanks ! I guess Canadian theory is close to the U.S. one, then ! 🙂
This was an interesting article, and I liked how there were examples of when a psychopath was exhibiting different traits. It might be useful to add possible ways to get away from a psychopath in the workplace.
I liked the detail and the examples that were used to illustrate the different signs of a psychopath. They kept me engaged and made things much more relevant. Although, I would suggest that if one main source is going to be used, to support every example or many of the examples given in the article, that it be written in the introduction. In that way, the reference does not need to be repeated in nearly every single paragraph describing a different idea. Additionally, I agree with the commentators that mentioned the distracting nature of the photographs used to increase engagement and emphasize the main idea of the particular signs of psychopathy. One or two striking photos would have been fine, but right now I seem to remember the ominous feeling of the photographs more than the actual sign they were referring to.
I like this text, it’s good written, but I feel like sometimes it repeats too much? And the pictures aren’t really that fitting some are actually gross. Don’t turn this into a horror story. Psychopaths are still humen and some of the pictures are really unsuited and unprofessional in my opinion.
Oddly enough, being in a relationship with one can really drive things awry. The funny thing about this is that once you see one, you’ll notice other ones more easily. That I’ve also seen as well, these kind of people are toxic to be around, normally through spreading of irrational and immoral behavior. These are the kind of people who always have an ulterior motive no matter what they say. They can even become fixated on you if they think of you as worth it. However, the one’s I’ve encountered hated and still hate to be confronted, especially when you know how to turn their tactics against them and stand firm, assuming you have to encounter them again.
This describes my stalker. He’s a high powered Catholic priest, and has made my life a living hell for almost 4 years. Because of his position, nobody believes me. I’m crazy according to him. He’s vandalized my mother’s grave, my home (recently breaking in and vandalizing inside), there are so many flying monkey’s everywhere that I even had to leave the church, one pool, and he’s working on a second. The police are useless, because he’s so good at it, that I lack the physical evidence needed. Yeah, its going to end badly for me, and I don’t know how I’m going to stop him.
Whoever he is he’s wealthy beyond belief=D
This is a great article, watching Dirty John and stumbled on this, my mother an alcoholic got involved with a psychopath when i was a teenager. As you pointed out there was this extended period of grooming, he being the angel who is going to make all her fears dissipate and all her dreams come true. He spun a cocoon so thick around her i didn’t know how to reach her at the end. It was calculating and it took a year or two before his true colors came through. He isolated her and mentally broke her. I kept telling everyone there is something very wrong with him and to this day i can’t believe me and my sisters survived.
He unfortunately murdered my mother, no proof (he had a friend in the police department) and i was 16 at the time but i know for a fact he murdered her. Just want to put this out there, i am sure not all psychopaths are killers but this man was, if you ever do come across someone like this please be careful they feed on fear and insecurity, it is an evil i still struggle to describe to this day and don’t wish it on my worst enemy. They spin this web of lies and deceit which is very difficult to get out of and at the end my mother was barely present.
I have been a victim of a psychopath at my workplace. Psychopaths target sensitive innocent individuals only. They can spot them easily. They can fake tears if needed or play victim to first get attention of sensitive individuals.. They’ll first spot all your weaknesses and try to be a super hero by helping u out and then they’ll slowly exploit you . You’ll lose your job you’ll end up looking like the worst person you’ll lose your family even or get injured . No matter how much u try to avoid them they’ll find a way to keep u in their trap. They absolutely have no problem telling lies and manipulating, lying and manipulating is like their real job. Other human beings are like objects to them or pawns on a chess board. A psychopath will not have any feeling of love ,compassion or normal human feelings like feeling sorry for someone in pain. They enjoy making people cry.
If you are the one being targeted or with a psychopath, you cannot protect yourself. Anything that you may detect as being even a little “off” will be eliminated by your psychopath by means of gaslighting. The psychopath will mentally and emotionally disable you to the point that you no longer have “self”. Your natural instincts, intuitions, natural gut feelings…poof..gone. You are no longer able to protect yourself or see things for what they are. They get you to this point, suck you dry as the parasite that they are and then they are done with you. They all have the potential to kill amongst other things. They do not have normal frontal lobe activity. They don’t think of consequences for their decisions, they have no boundaries and they dont bond or feel love.
Married to one for almost 30 yrs. When he couldnt keep up his persona any longer..he bloomed out in all his monstrous glory. To my absolute horror learned of all the things he had done an was doing. He lived a completely double life. I developed severe PTSD from living with him. I can only hope one day I will recover enough to be capable of living a normal life.
I read articles that say they can be helped, they can be “fixed”, you can spot them and here are the warning signs. They give you no warning signs until they’ve blinded you. No one with the in incapability of feeling human emotions, regarding consequences etc cannot be “fixed”. All they can do is mimic others to “seem” somewhat socially acceptable…and that’s it.
Good article.
The biggest key is that early indication that something is “off”. This is your gut instinct. It shows up right away, in the beginning, usually at the first meeting. It may be brief, and what happens is, at the same time, the charming and grooming begins. As a result, many people talk themselves out of that feeling. Why? Because there is seemingly an incongruence between the psychopaths words and the pyschopaths facade, and that warning feeling going off inside you, the target.
Which will win? Your internal self or the manipulators self? Who will you listen to?
Understand this. The Psychopath KNOWs they have to bypass this warning sense. So, they choose people who will likely bypass it and trust the psychopaths. This is what makes an easy target.
NEVER, ever, bypass that gut feeling, no matter how brief. If you feel uneasy, if you feel like hunted prey, THAT is because you are.
Did you know that foxes actually use a hunting tactic called “charming” to lure in prey? Study it carefully, because its what the psychopath is doing to you.
My soon to be ex-husband of 24 years. Had I only known then. He learned all about me because of a circle of friends over the course of a couple years. By the time he asked me out, he had my number and was able to feign being “my soulmate.” By the time he started with little snippets of abuse, I was in too deep to be able to know what was happening. Years later our son would also become his victim. It’s almost like these psychopaths have an abuse manual that they follow. This needs to be more publicly taught so that people know what to look for as it’s becoming more common it seems.
My sister exhibits ALL of the qualities mentioned. She has progressively destroyed our family over the years. It has taken me a long time to learn that she is a psychopath and that has lifted my confusion and also made me unbelievably angry and sad at the same time. It seems that there is no solution, no “cure” no redemption.