Introduction

Have you heard of the term self-harming?

Self-harming or self-injury is defined as the act of intentionally hurting oneself. Symptoms may vary from pulling hairs, picking scabs to serious cases of starving oneself or cutting.

It’s most common in younger teenagers between the age of 15 to 24 especially in girls. In an article written by Anubhuti Matta,2020, the current study shows that females may self-harm more than males as females feel negative emotions stronger three times more than boys. There are studies, however, that state females are overrepresented as there are more data of females seeking help as they are usually more accepting in getting professional help, while males are more closed off with their emotions and more reluctant to get help.

Self-harming is often misunderstood as a suicide attempt, but in actuality, it’s a cry for help. It’s a coping mechanism to control the victim’s negative emotions, be it anger, sadness, or even to “feel something” from their emotionless state.

There are many symptoms of self-harm and here are four invisible signs and dangers of it.

Sign number 1, self-harming victims tend to cover themselves irrespective of how warm the weather is.

They may always dress in long sleeves and pants to cover the few common places of self-harm; upper arms and thighs.

Based on qualitative research by Brown, Latham, Danquah, Dunlop & Taylor, 2022 in the Psychology and Psychotherapy Journal, victims of self-harming expressed that they were ashamed of their actions, and the scars reminded them of that negative feeling. Some of the victims found it difficult to reach out to their friends, fearing they would misunderstand and not accept them. Self-harming leads the victim to a lonely and self-isolating route.

Sign number 2, self-harming victims may have very low self-esteem.

Victims of self-harm often think lowly of themselves.

According to a study from Stänicke, 2021, some self-harming victims are excessively harsh on themselves, and self-harming is a form of self-punishment. It can be an expression of frustration or guilt towards themselves for not being good enough. Regardless of the truth, they believe that whatever is happening is their fault and deserve to be in this state.

For example, one of the participants in Stänicke’s study reported feeling pressured to self-harm as she believed she had overindulged in food. It may seem like a small matter to some, but self-harming victims can be hard on themselves and over-critique themselves.

Self-harming can be an unhealthy coping mechanism for victims to ‘snap’ out of their negative thoughts. Some believe it’s easier to deal with physical pain than emotional pain and this unconsciously traps them in a vicious cycle of replacing emotional pain with physical pain.

Sign number 3, some self-harming victims are emotionally overwhelmed.

It can be seen as emotional changes, be it a burst of emotions or a lack of emotions. They may have difficulties controlling their emotions and overreact in a fit of anger or sadness. Or, they can be the opposite, feeling emotionally drained and emotionally numb. 

There are many reasons behind this emotional turmoil. To name a few, it can be caused by childhood trauma, financial issues, and abuse. Paired with low self-esteem, their emotions can spiral uncontrollably. One of the participants in Stänicke‘s study explained,

“Self-harm collects those feelings. Sometimes, when many painful things happen, and you can’t understand … you just feel so much at once, it’s like a storm — it’s much easier to collect it all in ONE physical pain.”

To gain control over their feelings, victims turn to self-harm. It causes physical pain that will quickly be followed up with this sense of euphoria known as pain offset relief. According to Cornell Research Program, when the physical pain fades away, there’s this relief that leaves the victims feeling better than their initial state with body endorphins stimulated from the pain inflicted.

Sign number 4, some self-harming victims show signs of withdrawal from friends and family.

Victims of self-harming may show signs of depression. Feeling empty, they feel there is nothing to look forward to in the future. They slowly withdraw themselves from their social circle, keeping to themselves and losing interest in hobbies and things they used to love.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, victims end up self-harming to ‘feel something’ in their void of numbness. Physical pain becomes an addictive fix, but it’s only a temporary solution.

Conclusion/Final Thoughts

If you see anyone with these signs, try empathizing and be kind to them. And if you struggle with self-harm, be kind to yourself. Try understanding the purpose of the self-harm so you can slowly work your way out with a healthier method to overcome it.

Reach out to professional help. Remember that your struggles do not have to be all to yours to bear alone.