5 Sign You’re Deflecting Your Feelings

Deflection. We’ve all done it. If you have ever placed the blame on a sibling for something you did, you have deflected blame. According to Samantha Dewitt of betterhelp.com, deflection is a defense mechanism– an attempt to draw negative attention away from ourselves. Deflecting a behavior pattern we hold onto as children and usually let go of as adults. However, sometimes it can follow us into adulthood. Many of us have shifted blame, whether it was to save face in front of others or avoid negative consequences for our actions.

But, deflection does not only apply to blame. It can also be looked at in the context of emotions. Within that context, it manifests differently. It may manifest as fear of intimacy, unbalanced sleep cycles, or angry outbursts. While the behavior may seem erratic, it can point to an emotional struggle. 

Below are five signs that you are deflecting your feelings.  

**Before we continue, please note that this article and signs listed therein are not to be considered a criterion for any kind of mental health diagnosis. They are merely educational. Hopefully, this article will guide you to seek help if you need it.**

• Repression

A sure sign that you are eschewing your emotions is if you are repressing them. It’s often easier to suppress your emotions than to confront them head-on. An obvious sign that you suppress your emotions is by limiting how you express them. You may feel uncomfortable towards overt displays of emotions–from others or yourself.  

You have a “suck it” attitude towards your emotions, and many may have remarked how stoic or severe you appear. Anger and humor are often used to cover up uncomfortable emotions. 

• Fear of intimacy

Another sign you are deflecting your feelings is that you fear intimacy. Intimacy requires you to be vulnerable and feel all the uncomfortable feelings you do not want to feel. When you deflect your emotions, you are not allowing yourself to feel them completely. Consequently, you will have a hard time expressing them. 

As a result of unattended issues and vague excuses to cover up emotional discomforts, conflicts arise, which can strain your relationship. 

• Elevated levels of stress

Another sign that you may be deflecting your feelings is elevated stress. Emotions usually are an outlet to release stress–mental and emotional. However, keeping everything bottled up increases your stress levels and your emotional distress. 

• Projection

Projection is similar to deflecting your feelings. In fact, both sit at the same table. Projection and deflection are often used interchangeably. The nuance that differentiates deflection and projection is that projection is a form of deflection, not the way around. Meaning that deflection can manifest itself in other ways, whereas projection is an attempt to deflect.  

Projection refers to the act of placing your feelings on someone else, the same way a projector projects an image on a wall. However, projecting involves more than feelings. When you project, you are also making someone else responsible for how you feel.

According to a Healthline article, people who have low self-esteem or do not fully understand themselves are susceptible to projecting. 

• Denial

Another symptom of deflecting your emotions is denial. How many times have you said “I’m fine” when you don’t really mean it. Most of us try to bully our way through difficult situations. While it may seem helpful, it’s really another way of deflecting emotions.  

While difficult emotions are hard to deal with, it is much better than leaving them unchecked. Deflecting your feelings allows them to fester and cause detrimental damages to your emotional health. If you have trouble coping with your emotions, please seek professional help. 

Take care! 

Sources:

Butler, C. (2021, October 12). 10 signs someone is deflecting feelings instead of dealing with them. Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude. Retrieved October 25, 2021, from https://www.powerofpositivity.com/deflecting-feelings/?fbclid=IwAR3oA7NvgwVCRwbBxHRT-rgL_fWD4vAFtGl93mzdAuHhmyQ1LQjCxZCZrYo. 

Dewitt, S. (2019, May 5). What is deflection? psychology explains this defense mechanism. BetterHelp. Retrieved October 25, 2021, from https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/psychologists/what-is-deflection-psychology-explains-this-defense-mechanism/. 

Lindberg, S. (2018, September 15). Projection in psychology: Definition, defense mechanism, examples. Healthline. Retrieved October 26, 2021, from https://www.healthline.com/health/projection-psychology#how-to-stop.