6 Dangerous Self-Talk Phrases You Should Stop Using

Hey Psych2goers! Have you heard of self-talk? According to Healthline, self-talk is the way you naturally communicate with yourself throughout the day (Morris 2016). It can be positive or negative, and it can influence your self-esteem, self-worth, and confidence. 

When it comes to negative self-talk, there are some phrases that can be particularly damaging to your well-being. Before we start, we want to emphasize that this article is in no way meant to attack anyone. If you find yourself identifying with these phrases, know that there are ways to grow and improve your self-talk. 

With that, here are 6 dangerous self-talk phrases you should stop using.

1. “I am worthless”

What determines your worth? For many people, self-worth can be influenced by a number of factors.

With that said, it can be easy to let other people, certain moments, or situations diminish your worth. However, the biggest thing to remember is that self-worth is, and will always be, truly internal. It blossoms from the way you speak to yourself, and the way you view yourself, not how others view you (UNCW).

2. “It’s not worth trying”

Have you ever stopped yourself from trying something new? Did you tell yourself that you’ll probably fail before you even started?

While you may be intending to save yourself from any potential embarrassment with this line of thinking, you are inadvertently stunting your own growth. We tend to underestimate ourselves, but sometimes, our potential just might surprise us if we give it the chance.

3. “I am not enough”

In this increasingly competitive world, it can be easy to undercut your own accomplishments. Criticism from others or slight setbacks can make us forget about the things we do well and make us feel like we aren’t doing enough. Or, that we simply aren’t enough.

This phrase can be detrimental to your self-esteem and confidence (Bundrant 2013). You are enough and so valuable as you are, no matter what setbacks you face each day.

4. “I’m too sensitive”

Have you ever called yourself ‘too sensitive’ when you were angry? Rather than letting yourself feel all of your emotions?

It’s a common thing to do, but sometimes, it results in you dismissing your own feelings. If something bothers you, it bothers you, and it’s totally okay. Even if other people don’t think something should upset you, it doesn’t make your feelings any less important or any less real.

5. “I don’t deserve love”

Have you ever thought that you didn’t deserve love? If so, you aren’t alone.
According to Cision PRWeb, a study from PsychTests revealed that a large percent of people believe that they are “not good enough for anyone”, that they are “boring and uninteresting” and/or “unworthy of love” (Jerabek 2018). However common these thoughts may be, they are detrimental to your well-being because they perpetuate issues with self-esteem and self-worth. According to Dr. Jerabek from PsychTests, various life experiences can negatively affect the way we view ourselves, love ourselves, and respect ourselves (Jerabek 2018). Making a conscious effort to treat ourselves with love and respect will not only increase our personal happiness, but also serve as an example of how we want to be treated by those around us.

6. “I am a failure”

When something goes wrong, what do you tell yourself? Well, a common response would be to call yourself a failure. In the moment, when nothing is going your way, this label may seem like the only appropriate thing to call yourself.

However, what many of us don’t realize is how damaging it can actually be to let ourselves believe that we are failures, even when we have failed. In these moments, rather than add to your own adversity, the best thing you can do for yourself is to become your biggest support system (Denning 2019). Stepping on yourself will only discourage you even more, but being kind to yourself, even as you acknowledge a setback, can encourage you to rebuild and come back stronger. 

We hope this helped you learn about some self-talk phrases that could damage your well-being. Could you relate? Did we miss anything? Let us know. Thanks for reading!

References

• Bundrant, M (2013, Apr. 29). Negative Self-Talk: Top 10 Things NOT to Say to Yourself”. PsychCentral. Retrieved from www.psychcentral.com/blog/nlp/2013/04/negative-self-talk
• Denning, T (2019, May 27). “You Are Not a Failure”. PS I Love You. Retrieved from www.psiloveyou.xyz/you-are-not-a-failure-20c3c278f224
• Jerabek, I (2018, Jul. 08). ““I Don’t Deserve Love” Study Reveals The Destructive Impact Of A Lack Of Self-Worth”. PRWeb. Retrieved from www.prweb.com/releases/2018/07/prweb15610907.htm
• Kane, C (2018, Sept. 07). “6 Negative Self-Talk Phrases to Cut Out of Your Vocabulary”. Self. Retrieved from www.self.com/story/negative-self-talk-phrases-to-cut-out-of-your-vocabulary
• Morris, SY (2016, Dec. 19). “Self-Talk: Why It Matters”. Healthline. Legg TJ, reviewed by. Retrieved from www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/self-talk
• “Self-worth (N.d.)”. University of North Carolina Wilmington Counseling Center. Retrieved from www.uncw.edu/counseling/selfworth.html