7 Reasons Not to Get Back With Your Ex
It’s hard missing someone, because it completely throws off your judgment. Everything becomes specifically narrowed and focused on that one person. People often say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but letting that kind of power dictate and immobilize you will only leave you feeling miserable and empty-handed. Before you even think about getting back together with your ex, here are 7 reasons why you shouldn’t:
1. You’re romanticizing the past, giving it more credit than it actually deserves.
You’re only selectively remembering the good times. And you’re blocking out all the reasons why it didn’t work out between you two. Basically, you’re only holding onto the idea of that person. It’s dangerous to do so, because your mind teaches your heart to make up excuses for them. You learn to edit memories, exaggerating the goodness of being with them instead of what it actually was.
The last thing I ever want to do is put someone on a pedestal, especially with someone who I’m over and done with. The worst part of memory is that it can all be edited. But over time, I learned that it can also be the best part. I’m a lot more careful now about how I choose to remember the people I once had feelings for. I owe myself at least that much if I want to keep my sanity intact.
Thank you for this article and corresponding video. I broke up with my ex about 2 months ago, and we had wanted to stay friends but we recently had a falling out after I had told her about my new relationship. Since then, my mind has kept going to the good times we had together, even as I am in this new relationship, and I couldn’t help but miss all those early days when I started dating my ex. You’re absolutely right in that I was romanticizing this “Person B” who was just the best of my ex and not the actual person. I’ve been coping and grieving with the fact that I can’t change how they feel about me, but I can live knowing that I am open to reconnecting with my ex in the future if she should ever want to. Things get a little easier for me every day, but there’s still a part of me that feels sad to have lost someone I have known and been close to for so long.
Thank you again, this article and video came at just the right moment for me 🙂
Hi Brainiac_Amorse, thanks so much for reading. =) Yes, breakups are tough and I’m sorry that you and your ex didn’t work out, but I am hoping this new relationship is doing you some good. I hope you’re happy with your current significant other. It’s normal to only focus on the good days when you reminisce about someone who you miss from the past. I think the first stage/early days of the relationship, it’s all about the attraction and idealizing who we are with, so when we move to phase 2 that deals with power struggles, reality sets in and we begin to see the flaws in our partners. During that time, it can either make or break a relationship because that’s when two people really see each for who they are. There’s always a difference between a relationship that can work with more effort and a relationship that won’t ever work. I wish you the best of luck and hope that your ex is also doing well. Have a great day!
Why is it only showing one reason?