8 Surprising Habits Which Make You Charismatic
Hello Psych2Goers! Hope you are ready for another article!
This article is designed for educational purposes and is not suggesting that people who embody these qualities are classed as being ‘charismatic’. These are just some of the habits, according to research, contribute towards somebody being charismatic.
Ever felt like some people or person instantly make us feel important? Some people instantly make us feel special and light up a room just by walking into it. We can’t always define it, but some people have it: they are naturally charismatic (Haden, 2012).
It come as no surprise that charisma has fascinated social scientists for decades. Thanks to their research, we now know that charisma is less of an inborn set of traits but is something that everyone can develop by practicing a few key behaviours until they become habitual (Hoffield, 2016)
Here are 8 surprising habits which make somebody charismatic.
- They choose their words carefully.
Do you ever stop to think about your words before you say them?
Taking the time to think about how your words impact the attitude of others shows that you care and are personable. In an ideal world, we all want to associate with happy, enthusiastic and fulfilled people. The words you choose can help other people feel better about themselves and make you feel better about yourself, too (Haden, 2012).
2. They encourage self-disclosure
Why do people enjoy conversing with charismatic leaders? Because they ask insightful questions that guide others toward sharing things about themselves (Hoffield, 2016).
Harvard researchers studied how sharing information about ourselves impacts our brains (Ward, 2013). The research demonstrated that greater neural activity showed by the participants were in the areas of the brain associated with reward and pleasure. This confirmed that our brains are wired to enjoy sharing information about ourselves. Perhaps the most surprising thing about charisma, is that it’s really about others. The secret to becoming charismatic is less about you and more about how you make others feel.
3. They radiate warmth.
Ever feel yourself being drawn to certain people because they ‘feel warm’?
Charismatic people are often described as being warm and approachable (Hoffield, 2016) Research has shown that when people perceive you to be warm, they’re more likely to trust you and embrace your ideas (Cuddy, Kohut and Neffinger, 2013). Charisma can be built by making eye contact and flashing a smile and researchers know why! Studies have shown that smiling is linked to our ideas about how approachable and competent someone is (Kleisner et al., 2014).
4. They may crack intelligent jokes
Ever had a co worker, friend or family member crack a joke when you feel under the weather?
Charismatic people will do this to lighten up your mood. Charismatic people are unlikely to crack an offensive or coarse joke that some people might find distasteful or even repulsive but instead will opt for a joke that tantalizes our intelligence or that distract us away from any negative feelings we may have.
5. They know how to steal the limelight.
Ever find yourself fully engaged in a conversation or discussion with somebody?
Chances are that this person is possibly a charismatic individual. Generally, charismatic individuals will talk about gripping and interesting things which are instantly able to draw the attention of everyone present in the room (Reddy, 2015). They are not people who just speak for the sake of speaking. Instead they are able to come up with intriguing conversations that are able to challenge and involve everyone.
6. They believe in themselves.
Ever feel like you have no idea what you are doing and that you are questioning your ability? Familiar with the term ‘fake it until you make it?’
It’s not uncommon to doubt yourself and your abilities once in a while. Psychologists have given it a name: Imposter Syndrome (Zax, 2016). This syndrome has the ability to kill charisma. This is not to say that charismatic individuals don’t experience anxieties and fears but they don’t allow them to sabotage their interactions. One of the best ways to boost your self-confidence, according to a growing body of research is to reflect on how you’ve succeeded in the past (Kang et al. 2015).
7. They readily admit their own failings.
Do you ever look at people who are successful and think ‘I wish I had their charisma?’ or ‘They got where they got because they have charisma!’
News flash! Incredibly successful people are often assumed to have charisma simply because they’re successful (Haden, 2012). However, you don’t have to be incredibly successful to be charismatic. In order to be charismatic, there has to exist a level of humility where you can share experiences which haven’t gone well for you and what you have learnt. Humans respond better to other people who share those lessons with others to reassure them that it is okay to make mistakes.
8. They rarely lose their temper.
There are some individuals who are unable to keep their cool even when things go slightly wrong. This can be frustrating especially when you care about something. This does not suggest that charismatic people do not have a temper, but they are more able to think on their feet and easily come up with solutions to problems that may come their way. They are more able to regulate their emotions and channel frustrations in other ways.
Thank you for reading this article and I hope you found it insightful. Remember, that everybody is unique and charisma is not the only thing which can make you who you are. Remember to be kind too yourself and keep an eye out for the next article!
J 🙂
References
Cuddy, A. JC., Kobut, M., and Neffinger, J. (2014). Connect, Then Lead. Business Review. https://hbr.org/2013/07/connect-then-lead
Haden, J. (2012). 10 Habits of Remarkably Charismatic People. Time. https://business.time.com/2012/07/13/10-habits-of-remarkably-charismatic-people/
Hoffeld, D. (2016). 7 Scientifically Proven Habits Of Charismatic Leaders. Fast Company. https://www.fastcompany.com/3056232/7-scientifically-proven-habits-of-charismatic-leaders
Kang, S., Galinsky, A., Kray, L. & Shirako, A. (2015). Power Affects Performance When the Pressure Is On: Evidence for Low-Power Threat and High-Power Lift. Personality & social psychology bulletin. 41. 726-35. 10.1177/0146167215577365.
Kleisner, K., Chvátalová, V., & Flegr, J. (2014). Perceived Intelligence Is Associated with Measured Intelligence in Men but Not Women. PLoS ONE, 9(3), e81237. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0081237
Reddy, C. (2015). 17 Interesting Habits of Exceptionally Charismatic People – WiseStep. https://content.wisestep.com/charismatic-people/
Ward, A. F. (2013). The Neuroscience of Everybody’s Favorite Topic. Scientific American. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-neuroscience-of-everybody-favorite-topic-themselves/
Zax, D. (2016). What If “Fake It ‘Til You Make It” Never Ends? Fast Company. https://www.fastcompany.com/3055355/what-if-fake-it-til-you-make-it-never-ends
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