10 Ways To Deal With A Broken Heart
Moving on from a breakup is a difficult process. Following the shock of the initial separation are feelings of anger, sadness, and grief that is often crippling and mind numbing. The pain of a breakup is so profound that it sometimes leaves us not knowing what to do next.
Though there are no one pill medicine to soothe out a broken heart, there are certain ways that will help you move on and heal faster.
Here are 10 ways to help you deal with heartbreak
1. Steer clear and keep distance.
After the initial shock of the breakup, and on occasions the somewhat empty promise to remain friends. It is important to remember to distance yourself from them. No communication whatsoever including calls, texts and IM’s. Even contact with the same friends or families should be avoided. It doesn’t mean that you have to avoid them forever, but it is important to keep the away for a while in order for you to heal your heart and move on.
2. Surround yourself with support
When hurting, it is easy to distance yourself from others and just sleep the pain away. You begin to question your self-worth. Are you really good enough? However, it is important that you surround yourself with positivity and people who support you fully. Not only will this help you in moving on from your ex but it will also be good for your bruised ego as it reinforces your self-concept and rebuilds your self-worth.
3. Manage your anger and avoid lashing out
People deal with anger differently. Some people deal with it with grace and passiveness that epitomizes maturity. There are also people who would burn closets worth of clothes, destroy furniture and memorabilia, cut out and shred album after album of photos, lash out at friends who mentions something triggering and on occasions, come up to their ex and make a scene.
It is important to find a way to deal with the anger of a breakup. Some can easily fall the deep end and resort to alcohol and drugs. One healthy way of coping is to try and write a journal of everything negative in the relationship. This way, not only are you letting your hidden frustrations and anger out, it can also help justify the reasons why the breakup happened in the first place.
4. Feel your emotions and deal with them
It’s a natural reaction to push everything down and pretend that nothing happened. Because whether we like it or not, the world doesn’t stop if we are hurt. After a breakup, it is important to remember that as humans, we feel. The anger, the pain, the confusion, the frustration and the worry that you are not enough and you may never be happy again.
Acknowledging these emotions are frightening, however, it is necessary to face them, sift through them and deal with them in order to move on. Set time to grieve the relationship for what it was and what it should have been. Cry and mope, but don’t let the negative emotions consume you and hold you back from living your life.
5. Talk it out
There are certain days were the overwhelming feeling of pain and loneliness reaches its limits. You feel hopeless at the same time you feel like your chest is going to burst. Many people are capable of bouncing back from a breakup on their own. But this isn’t possible for most. Some people have trouble coping with their emotions and will need someone to talk to. It can be a parent, a friend or in most cases, a therapist.
While it is painful, talking about the relationship and the realizations after the relationship is quite helpful in sorting out emotions. If you are having trouble coping and feel that you are depressed, seek help immediately.
I think most of these suggestions are extremely healthy ways to deal with the shock of being hurt in such a way. Unfortunately, many people dwell and dwell and dwell on what has happened, allowing it to stew and affect their daily lives.There is the whole idea that we become what we think of ourselves, that if we are told something or say something enough, we begin to embody those qualities. The idea of allowing oneself to go through the grieving of being hurt in order to become healthy both mentally and emotionally is an idea that needs to be pushed forward into society more.
Hi Michelle! Indeed, the human tendency to dwell on negative experiences is a common one that is both toxic and dangerous. That is why it is important to learn a couple of coping skills when it all becomes too much, more so when dealing with something emotionally scarring such as a heartbreak. 🙂
I think these aspects are all positive for someone with a broken heart, but I also feel like some of these aspects seem hard for the broken hearted to all complete wholely. However, I guess that Is on of the things that really accompanies life, the unknown, and fate, if it really does have hand in all of this. I have struggled constantly with way number nine, I have found in the past it was easier to quickly move on and forget about the ex that had broken up with or had left. I have now realized that this is no strategy to mend a broken heart because you have to face the pain eventually. I also felt talking with others instead of keeping stuff to yourself is very positive for the broken hearted. Along with reflecting on past relationships and experiences to see all of the positivity and negativity that accompanied these relationships. I feel these people will become memories but the feelings had will remain amd people need to learn to deal with these life aspects.
Hi Nikki! I’m glad you found the article helpful. Indeed, moving on from a broken heart will always be difficult, but therein lies the strength of each individual. Some people can move on faster than others and that’s okay. Dealing with something emotionally scarring is a process not many people go through in a healthy way. That is why its important to help each other. 🙂