Diary of an Introvert with Cabin Fever: 3/27/17

My first daily journal in years…

As I was setting up my account this evening, I noticed an email from my Diversity teacher. I don’t have to go to class tomorrow. I know everyone jumps for joy when class and school get canceled, but for introverts, that joy is almost doubled. It means less time to have to spend around people. I get to sleep in as late as I damn well please, and don’t have to leave the house until two o’clock. Oh, joy!

I need an easy day after this weekend. Rather than getting to kick back, I was cramming all my homework into Saturday. My Sunday was spent driving to see my sister, K. This visit was both a blessing and a curse. Don’t get me wrong; I love my sister, but… First of all, she’s an extrovert. She makes me a bit louder than normal too because she’s that much fun… until politics enter the conversation. I’m not gonna get into that since the subject is a can of worms right now, but I don’t agree with my family on politics. That’s all I’ll say.

I don’t like fighting or confrontation, so I just sat quietly on my phone. Then, of course, we move on to an even worse subject.

See, my parents have always been able to connect with my sister better than with me. They are all math and science people. She does math and science problems FOR FUN. K graduated with the highest level of high school diploma with a 4.0 GPA that followed her through college. She got a degree in Engineering, which means that she’s gonna have a well-paying job no matter where she goes.

I was reminded of this when she told us about her job interview. What basically happened is that the company changed the job requirements to fit her specifically once they saw her resume. They wanted her so bad that they are letting her set her own hours, benefits, and salary. They are paying her that exact same amount she would be getting if she were in a higher position and working full time.

Meanwhile, I’m struggling to graduate in five and a half years with a B.F.A. and a minor, neither of which are in fields that will guarantee me any jobs. Even a shitty one.

This where I have to wonder if introversion is a nature or nurture trait.  Was I born a little girl who would put on entire plays in her bedroom by herself but not have fifty words to say at family dinners? Or did I draw into myself because I felt like I could never compete with my big sister?

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Edited by Viveca Shearin

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