Having Fun In Retrospect

Have you ever had fun in retrospect? This weekend, I went to the Georgia Renaissance Festival. I go every year. As I was walking around, I remembered having more fun in the years past. And it was in that moment that I realized something. When it comes to things like the festival- busy, crowded events with lots to experience- I have fun in retrospect. Let me paint a picture to explain what I mean.

We got to the festival about 15 minutes before the gates opened. We stood in a crowd of people waiting to get in, many of them dressed in voluminous costumes. Kids dressed as fairies and pirates ran or danced all through the crowd. Eventually, actors appeared on the “castle” wall to talk to us. I couldn’t really hear them. A bagpiper started to play and, at last, the gates opened. We shuffle-walked through the gates and were released into the relatively larger space of the fair.

Once in the fair, vendors hawked from all sides. “Can I borrow your wrist?” asked a perfume vendor. “Flowers for the lady?” asked a woman with roses. “Twisted bread!” shouted the pretzel vendor. “MEEEEAAAAT!” screamed the beef jerky vendor at top volume.

We wandered around, politely shaking our heads no at each vendor and trying hard not to make eye contact. We located a stage where the bagpiper had appeared with his band and stopped to listen. The music was good and attracted a crowd. Soon, people were on all sides of us, dancing dangerously close. A child wearing a kilt walked by repeatedly, CDs for sale held aloft. I felt guilty not buying a CD and ended up with two. At one point, the child looked confused and I observed a drummer on stage who watched the child with concern. Later the drummer introduced the child as his son.

We continued our walk-about. Actors and festival goers played their characters, interacting with the crowd. People engaged with us every few moments. Each time, I smiled and focused somewhere else, hoping they would move on quickly.

We stayed for a joust and some meat on a stick and then went home. I was fairly “peopled out” once we got there and looked forward to a quiet evening. I might return this year; I might not. Regardless, I will remember the day fondly and recall having a good time.

The truth is that, during the actual event, I wasn’t fully having fun. I really can’t in that kind of situation due to my introversion. Everything about it is just…too much.

Of course, there is the teeming crowd which does not sit well with my introversion. But it’s more than that. There’s just too much pulling my attention. When I arrive, I’m bombarded by sights, sounds, smells. And I can’t seem to tune any of it out. I’ve heard that introverts are easily distracted and it’s true. It’s not that I lack focus. I have laser focus. It’s that I am so easily stimulated and unable to filter out the stimulation. This happens to me all the time. Every time we go to a play, there’s always someone who shows up late or gets up in the middle or talks or looks at their phone, and it pulls me right out of the play.

In general, I find I am overly sensitive to other people. I’m always on high alert around them. At the Renaissance Festival, I was always scanning my surroundings, trying to avoid the vendors and actors. I worried about the dancers breaking into my little bubble of protected space. And while listening to the band, I was scanning the faces of the crowd, reading their expressions, which is why I noticed the dad anxiously watching his son. I’m always hyper alert of other people wherever I go, monitoring their location and facial expressions, and that gets exhausting.

When you are an introvert, you spend so much time in your own head- considering, analyzing-that you aren’t living in the moment. It’s like you are living in the recent past (was I rude to that lady just now? I didn’t mean to be) or immediate future (Uh-oh. Is he coming over here?). It’s hard to relax and fully let go and have fun at an event like this. And yet, I go every year and always remember it being fun.

What I realized is that when I remember the Renaissance Festival, I remember all the good things. I’ll remember the music, the yummy food, the cool stuff I bought, that awesome costume I saw. I won’t remember all the little things that bothered me that day. So now I have to decide- is having fun in retrospect good enough? Or do I need to try to learn to live more in the moment, and can I?

How about you? Do you avoid these kinds of things altogether? If you go to crowded events, do you have a blast and go home to collapse and recharge, or do you find that you remember it more fondly after the fact? Any tips for an introvert who likes things like festivals and concerts?

Edited by Viveca Shearin