Interview with the founder of International Forgiveness – Dr. Robert Enright
Dr. Robert Enright is a professor of educational psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and a licensed psychologist who pioneered the social scientific study of forgiveness. He is the author of over 120 publications, including seven books: Exploring Forgiveness, Helping Clients Forgive, Forgiveness Is a Choice, Rising Above the Storm Clouds (for children), The Forgiving Life, 8 Keys to Forgiveness, and Forgiveness Therapy. His colleagues and he have developed and tested a pathway to forgiveness, called Forgiveness Therapy, which has helped incest survivors, people in drug rehabilitation, in hospice, in shelters for abused women, and in cardiac units of hospitals, among others. Dr. Enright has developed Forgiveness Education programs for teachers in Belfast, Northern Ireland, Athens, Greece, Liberia, Africa, and Galilee, Israel.
We had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Robert Enright and talking about his career. We have the interview we did given below:
Q: How much indulged are you in physical activity? Any interesting hobbies such as sports?
Ans: I am an avid mountain biker and I work out at the gym for an hour or two each day. Physical fitness and psychological fitness are related, I think. Also, I do extensive world travel for forgiveness education and one needs to be physically fit to endure the rigors of such travel.
Q: People are going to share their worldly problems with you, most of them irrelevant, confusing and out of standard conscious. Do you think you will be able to handle all of their transferable stress? If yes, then why do you think you’re capable? Share a similar experience.
Ans: Those of us who work with people who have been emotionally injured by others know that we are making a commitment to confronting pain, sometimes very deep pain in those treated unfairly. It is manageable for me because I know that Forgiveness Therapy offers a way out of that pain. It is not unlike a sports medicine physician, I would think. The sports medicine physician knows that the surgery and rehabilitation is painful, but it actually is a way out of much greater pain of living with a debilitating injury for a lifetime. Yet, at times, I am taken aback by the pain. As one example, I was speaking to a group of students in a school in Liberia and the first question, from a second grade boy, was this: “Do you think that I can forgive the person who murdered my mother?” Then came the second question, from a third grade girl: “I love my sister so much, but she was murdered. Will I be able to forgive the person?” I did absorb those children’s pain and I lived with it for about a day. We ask people in Forgiveness Therapy to “bear the pain” of what happened, but only after the person has begun to be strengthened in the therapy. I had to take my own advice that day and “bear the pain” on behalf of these dear children. Bearing the pain helps us to stand up to the pain and not run from it. It is a form of psychological strengthening.
Q: What kind of challenges do you think lies in front of you in this career? Don’t tell us the solutions in mind; just tell us what you expect.
Ans: The largest challenge is people pre-judging forgiveness and misunderstanding it. In their misunderstanding, they dismiss forgiveness. Here are some of the criticisms: If you forgive, it is a sign of weakness because you are excusing the other’s wrongdoing. If you forgive, you have to reconcile with the person who is abusing you. If you forgive, you cannot seek justice. Forgiveness belongs only in religious settings because you cannot forgive someone else’s sins. If you as a therapist suggest forgiveness exercises for clients, then you are putting pressure on those clients to forgive even if they are not ready to do so.
Q: What inspired you to pursue this line of work?
Ans: I was hired in the Department of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison to study moral development, a research field that goes back to about 1892 and centers primarily on how children and adolescents learn to be fair or just. I, like so many others, followed this tradition until I grew dissatisfied with it. The questions being asked did not seem to be helping people in any deep way. So, I began to ask myself, “What in the area of moral development could make a major impact on the lives of people?” I thought, not of themes of justice, but the reverse: themes of injustice. So, I asked: “How can people heal from the effects of injustice?” and the idea of forgiveness came up for me. I hypothesized in 1985 that learning to forgive might counter the effects of injustice such as unhealthy anger, anxiety, and depression. Our research lab at the university was the first to scientifically evaluate these effects of forgiving. This led to the development and scientific test of Forgiveness Therapy and Forgiveness Education. It has been an amazing experience, to test effects of forgiving and to find rather dramatic healing results.
Q: What piece of advice would you give to people who want to pursue this career?
Ans: Helping others to heal from emotional pain is very rewarding. You have to have the right tools for the right problem. You would not use Forgiveness Therapy, for example, if someone has a fear of heights. Forgiveness Therapy’s right place is when clients present with injustices that they have suffered and with emotional after-effects of the injustice(s). Forgiveness Therapy can cure unhealthy anger, which, if left untreated, can progress to anxiety and even psychological depression.
Q: Do you plan on having any future publications, books?
Ans: Yes, I am in conversation right now with a publisher for an edited volume, Forgiveness. The contributors are from the disciplines of philosophy, theology, psychology, psychotherapy, and education. It is a wide-ranging volume to show people both the depth and breadth of forgiveness.
Q: How will you help your patients to open up?
Ans: The client’s own pain usually is the motivator for opening up. Many times, people are not even aware of the depth of their pain and it does take time for that to be uncovered. Yet, there usually is enough pain, enough anger to bring a person in for help. We work with the person’s awareness of this more-surface pain at first. Only gradually over time do we go more deeply into the pain that is hidden, that needs to be seen and then addressed with Forgiveness Therapy.
I had no idea there was even a field of study centered around forgiveness! Wow, that’s really fascinating!! Thinking about it now, it totally makes sense, considering how, like Dr. Enfield said, it can help with depression and a lot of other stuff. I wonder what the brain chemistry of someone who’s forgiving another person, looks like.
Dr. Enfield is doing amazing work, I can’t even imagine how hard it must be, to hear about terrible things, especially from children, and then helping them through it. Gosh, the emotional burden at times must be immense. I have such respect for that man. Like he said though, “Bear the pain.” Which is incredible, because sometimes, the pain can seem all-consuming, and it must be so hard to deal with. Forgiveness Therapy sounds like such a wonderful idea. With all that pain holding you down, how can you expect yourself to keep going? That’s probably where the therapy comes in, to help relieve that pain, and motivate people to move past and forward.
Thank you, for sharing this. I dare say it’s changed my life, not dramatically, but enough to take note.
A very, very fascinating subject! I’ve never heard of this before but I’m really glad I did.
To my shame I have to admit that I am one of those very unforgiving and at times very bitter people. I can really hold a grudge against everyone who from my point of view have hurt me in any way, shape or form. It has always been something I have hated in myself but despite the hard work haven’t been able to root out.
I really admire the thought of forgiveness. I do not see it as a sign of weakness; on the contrary, in my opinion it’s incredibly brave and a sign of great strength. Unforgiveness, in turn, is for me a weakness and a somewhat unmature feature in a person. I hope that I, myself, could be even a little bit more forgiving person some day.
I believe that this branch of psychology could be really useful for me and it really sounds like something that can and will help a lot of people.
I like the fact that you managed to summarise everything essential in this interview. It compactly introduces us the main idea and the person behind it without being just a superficial review. It really woke up my interest in the subject!
Lina, I feel the same way, I’m a bit of a grudge holder myself. I used to be much more forgiving, but I feel I’ve become less and less forgiving. I think it’s time to reevaluate myself and look into this Forgiveness approach. I appreciate you as well as the Dr. Enright for mentioning that forgiveness is not a sign of weakness.
This is truly extraordinary work. I feel better when I know there are people like Dr. Enright in the world.
There is so much injustice, and sadness in the world, the last thing we should do is dwell in our rage. People are usually revenge driven by a variety of reasons, but learning to accept the pain is one of the strongest things a person can do. It’s easier to act upon impulse, but that will never bring you anything, maybe an immediate pleasure, but on the long run you will still feel the anger and sadness. What Dr. Enright does is truly challenging and hard, I hope he can teach people that forgiveness is truly the greatest virtue of all.
I’m impressed, at first I was put off reading Forgiveness, as I’ve dealt with abusive people before, this was just my cognitive dissonance kicking in, (lol). But by the end of the article, I was thinking about how mindfulness has helped me before, and I wonder if this would be a form of such therapy, to kind of reshape your mind reviewing the trauma in one’s life.
What I found heartbreaking and very real about this article was when he mentioned the children who lost their family to horrific violence, and I think that showcases a privilege set of forgiveness hierarchy. I’m sure it’s possible to find peace in this form of therapy, but I do wonder the benefits with more extreme cases. I would like to look into his books a little more.
All this time I have looked at the idea of forgiveness as a very casual part of my social interactions. Even if I find it hard to forgive people, I rationalise that I am completely justified in holding a grudge. I can actually feel the resentment and anger seeping into my daily life, into the way I perceive myself and others around me. But I can never admit that some of my anger and insecurities came from being unable to forgive.
This article was a real eye-opener as to how the inability to forgive is a real and glaring problem. Dr __ discusses the concept with the calm rationality that can be demonstrated only by someone who has a lifetime of academic interest in the topic. I am now genuinely interested in reading more about this topic from an academic viewpoint, instead of just personally ruminating about what forgiveness means to me.
This was interesting to read. I didn’t know that this form of therapy existed.
I read this phrase somewhere once:
“Forgiveness is not for the person you forgive, it’s about you, your inner peace and your happiness”
Would you agree with that?
The adage -“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else ; you are the one who gets burned” taught me about forgiveness when I was a child. Instead of wasting my time and energy holding onto a grudge, I used to grudgingly forgive them. Forgiving was not always easy and required more energy and willpower until I came across a video of a girl who had lost her father in a war. She had ill feelings towards the enemies, who she believed had murdered her dad. After her enraging actions, her mother sat her down and explained how the fires of war were inflamed by anger and tamed with forgiveness. Presently, the girl is working to strengthen ties and establish peace between the two countries, who were at war. If a person, who has borne immeasurable pain, can learn to forgive then, our trivial grudges should hardly be any work. While this is not the case, it would be incredibly wrong on my part to compare the two.
It was heartbreaking to read about the secondary victims of violence, and equally hard to comprehend how they could move on from something like this. This topic has really intrigued me and I would like to understand how people let go and move on.
Tackling the constant deliberations and struggles towards helping someone who has been through immeasurable trauma and despair is tough, especially when you definitely want to help and touch as many hearts as possible. The story you included with the two young children asking whether or not they should push for forgiveness for the murders of their relatives is a groundbreaking attestment to how dangerous and somewhat helpful the answer could be. No child, or any person for that matter, should have to bear that pain and carry that weight forever, and I agree that it can be frustrating because most people will say that ” forgiveness is weakness” and ” how can i forgive someone who did me so wrong, you’re saying I should just forget about what they said?” and those are the most common responses.
I can say that forgiveness is not for the other person(s) but it is for you and you only. I am pleased to hear that someone is taking the initiative to create and cultivate cunning new programs and theologies that can benefit victims across all areas so that they can heal properly and possibly spread that healing and joy to others, creating a more unified community. I can recall back when i was severely depressed and facing suicidal thoughts and actions with no options left. Suicide hotlines and chats failed to provide me with the resources and skills necessary to handle the intensity at such a young age, and I truly needed a support system to keep me afloat in the time of desperation and tragedy.
Please keep doing what you are doing. It is far from meaningful and it serves a much greater purpose.
This is one of the most interesting and positive things I have read all week. The healing trough forgiveness seems such a healthy, effective therapy and I am definitely going to read more on the subject. I would have liked more details on the therapy itself though. While the questions are quite insightful they seem a little general. I would like to maybe know some of the steps in Dr. Enright’s way of treatment.
I didn’t know there was such thing as Forgiveness Therapy. I think this is an important form of therapy for people to be made aware of because it not only appears to be psychologically strengthening, but has actually been scientifically proven. I really hope more people become more involved in this field of study because there are things everyone goes through at some point in their lives that they need assistance forgiving in. I appreciate the credibility of Dr. Enright; reading this interview makes me more inclined to pick up one of his books and start reading. I really like how he pointed out that bearing the pain prevents us from running from it, which is the latter of human’s fight-or-flight response to unprecedented/unwanted situations. I really admire the want for people to face problems head-on in order to find a solution.
Dr. Enright is a fascinating person and I’m excited to see where his research goes because forgiveness is truly a hard thing to work on as a part of personal development and like he reiterated, there is a lot of stigmas to overcome about forgiveness before you even get to the root of the problem. I overall found this interview informative and concise. I do wish however, that the point of the interview was further expressed. In the beginning you describe Dr. Enright and his credentials and then it goes straight into the interview and there’s no conclusion. Why was this interview necessary? You never explain to the reader what you want them to take away from this interview and then it just ends. This really needs to be expressed in the introduction and a conclusion needs to be added. I also don’t understand some of the questions. For your first question you ask about his physical activity and I’m not sure why? No correlations are made to make this question seem relevant and none of the questions are particularly progressive in manner to again suggest to the reader the main point behind this all. I think that’s really the big issue here, if you make the main point of the interview evident, questions will come more naturally and it will be easier for the reader to follow overall.
There also are numerous grammatical errors that should be fixed here. A few include the line where you describe his 120 publications and 7 books. It’s not necessary to name the title of all 7 books, rather you can say “He is the author of over 120 publications and seven books.” and the seven should be written out. Also one line you say “His colleagues and he have developed…” The correct way to format this sentence is “He and his colleagues developed…”
These are just a few things I noticed but overall the content is fine, just needs some fine tuning.
I’m very grateful for people such as Dr. Enright, as I feel as if we live in a society which currently glorifies the idea of revenge- that one has the right to attack once they have been attacked but what I’m sure many don’t understand is that this leads to a unfortunate circle of hatred where it becomes one hurtful action after another which never ends.
Therefore it’s truely remarkable to see a more Pacifict approach and I hope these ideals are further spread to create a more peaceful and content community, especially for those who need Forgiveness therapy the most and by having a more peaceful community we could begin a new cycle involving the steps into Forgiveness therapy to prevent the ideals of revenge.
Forgiveness is something that catches everyone’s attention either we need to be forgiven or we want to forgive or sometimes both. Forgiveness therapy is new to me. I want to know more about this and how this differs from therapy in general. I think all people that seek counseling /mental therapy are seeking some type of forgiveness in one form or another. It’s coping. How do you cope with a death? Suicide? Traumatic event? Sexual abuse,physical abuse, or mental. How do you go on? People seek help with forgiveness and coming to terms with forgiveness. Is it possible to teach or lead another to forgive? Some believe forgiveness to be a feeling. In exchange for forgiveness people are granted peace. Some may want to hear the words”I’m sorry” but some the words are never heard. Some people hear the words but don’t feel they are true. They want to see the pain of another in turn for the pain they themselves have experienced. For each person forgiveness is different, it means something different to give it and receive it.
I don’t believe a person can be forgiven or want forgiveness from another and only redeem this by a therapist leading them to the feeling. I think it has to be identified within the individual first. When the individual is lost to how to forgive or how to receive it and looks to forgiveness therapy for the conclusion to their pain then please do so with a professional who can help with this. First and foremost the individual must be ready on both ends. This cannot be granted without it.
I truly believe most therapists/counselors objectives with clients is forgiveness at some point. I wish like to know in which way are the therapies different?
This was a very interesting read as I have never heard of Forgiveness Therapy before. I think this would be very helpful for those who have gone through a traumatic experience or are having a difficult time letting go of past problems. This article has made me wonder what benefits it could bring to those suffering with different levels of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), especially to those who fought in wars. Past traumas can lead to many negative consequences such as drug abuse. I’ve always found the step to forgiveness to be beneficial to ones mental health, as holding grudges in general can cause unnecessary stress. Depending on how bad ones anger could be, not seeking help could lead to a damaging lifestyle. So to come across a therapy like this, I feel it could be a great success and hope that more people become involved in this research.