The ‘D’ Word

Divorce- A word that makes just about everyone cringe. No one wants to imagine their family split up, no matter your age. Whether it’s you getting divorced, or your parents. It is heart breaking, you imagine your family being that apple pie- white picket fence family, and here you are going through divorce, or separation. Now before I get started, I wanted to mention that I am not writing this as an outsider. I have been there, I know the exact spot that I was just talking about. About 7 years ago my parents went through that dreadful word. I was 8 years old, I was such a naive little kid. I truly did not understand the concept. What do you mean Mom and Dad are not going to be living together anymore? Like I said I was very naive.

Did you know that 50% of all the children born to married parents today, will watch their parents divorce before they are 18 years old? That means that half of your friends parents are most likely divorced; it is not such a taboo thing anymore, it is not something to be embarrassed about. Although divorce effects the whole family, young kids are effected probably the most. I remember thinking as a little kid (before my parents actually divorced) what would happen when my brother and I where old enough and we moved out. Would my parents stay together? I know what you are thinking, that is a horrible thing to wonder. Of course they would, right? I always thought that my parents ‘made it work’ for us kids, and maybe in a sense they did, it does not matter now. But the thing about that, is that as cliche as it sounds- for the longest time I thought it was my fault that my family was no longer together.

Now, my situation is not typical- I admit but it is what works best and I do not regret it. About a year after my parents divorced I moved in with my dad, and my brother stayed with my mom. That is the way it has been for 6 years. It is a proven fact that children that come from divorced families are much more likely to eventually get divorced than intact families. So does that mean my future marriage is doomed? I feel it is the outlook you have on it, because there is not a ‘divorce gene’. It just depends on how well you and your significant other can work out conflicts and such. I am not saying that divorce does not have an effect at all on children of divorced parents. I know for me, I am much more of a closed off person and I rely strongly on commitment. That is also a proven fact about children from divorced parents; commitment is everything. Were your parents divorced, or did you yourself get divorced? What is one quality that you feel you have gained from coming from a ‘broken family?’ I believe that with my parents divorce I have truly become much more independent. Divorce is not always a bad thing, and if you are going through this situation right now; I truly feel for you and I promise you that when the dust settles, everything will be okay.

Credit to the following:
http://www.children-and-divorce.com/children-divorce-statistics.html