When You First Date Them, Look For These Signs

Picture this: you’re seated across from your crush, sipping coffee or sharing a meal on your first date. You’re nervous but excited to see where this is going. But did you know that there’s actually an important step you forgot to take that’s going to determine whether or not this ends in heartbreak for you? 

See, most people just dive headfirst into relationships once they find someone they like. But having a clear vision of the kind of person you want to be with and how you want that relationship to be is essential to intentional dating. Of course, we differ in our individual preferences (like what features we find attractive, or whether we value a sense of humor more than intelligence, etc), but psychology has more or less cracked the code already on what qualities make a great partner. 

With that said, here are 7 signs you’ve found a keeper on the first date, according to experts:

Mutual Attraction

Ah, the spark! Although this might seem like a no-brainer, you’d be surprised how many people continue to date someone even though they don’t feel a strong attraction towards them. But if you don’t have good chemistry with someone from the start, then it’s like trying to light a fire with damp wood – sure, you might get a flicker here and there, but it’s never going to ignite into the roaring blaze you’re craving.

If you’re wondering what are some signs of attraction, we have plenty of videos to help you, like “4 Signs of MUTUAL Attraction” and “6 Signs of Unspoken Attraction.”

Availability

Ever felt like someone you’re into is just out of reach? Whether it’s distance, busy schedules, or emotional baggage, sometimes the timing just isn’t right. And no matter how strongly you might feel for them, it’s better to be honest with yourself about whether or not the two of you are ready or even capable of investing your time, energy, and emotions into making a relationship work. It’s not about giving up or settling; it’s about being realistic and respecting both of your needs. Trust that things will align when the time is right and keep your heart open to the possibilities that lie ahead.

Clear Intentions

Being stuck in a “situationship” with someone who won’t lay their cards on the table can feel a lot like wandering through a foggy maze. Unsure of where you stand with each other, you’re constantly second-guessing yourself and unable to move forward confidently. But a good partner communicates openly and is clear about their intentions from the start. Is this a date? Are you in a relationship? What are their feelings for you? Where is this going? A good partner will be willing to talk about all of this openly, giving you a sense of direction so you’re not left stumbling in the dark all alone.

Genuine Interest

Ever been on a date where it feels like you’re talking to a wall? Well, a good partner-to-be will likely be the opposite. They’ll show genuine interest in what you have to say, ask thoughtful questions, and remember things you told them. They’re attentive and engaged in your conversations, which is a good sign that they’re invested in getting to know you and bodes well for the future of your relationship.

Consideration & Kindness

Respect is key in any relationship, and it starts from day one. A good way to gauge this is by looking at how considerate someone is when making plans with you. Not only will they take into account your time and availability, they show up when they say they’ll show up and, if they can’t, they’ll tell you right away. They don’t ghost you. They don’t expect you to just follow along with everything they want to do. They respect your boundaries, don’t pressure you into doing anything you’re uncomfortable with, and take your opinions and preferences into consideration. 

Authenticity

A good partner is honest and open about themselves. They’re authentic andthey don’t feel the need to put on a show or pretend to be someone they’re not. So be wary of any inconsistencies or red flags that may indicate your date isn’t being genuine. Do you get the feeling that they’re hiding something? Do they avoid questions or quickly change the topic? Trust your instincts. If something feels off or too good to be true, don’t ignore it. 

Positive Alignment

Finally, but perhaps most importantly, look for a partner who makes you feel good when you’re with them. They’re fun and easy to talk to, and they make you feel good about yourself. Being positively aligned with someone is important for healthy and fulfilling relationships. It means that you share a strong emotional connection, and they bring out the best in you. 

Now, that doesn’t mean that they’ll be a perfect match for you, especially right from the start. Bu tif being with them leaves you smiling, laughing, and light-hearted, feeling like you’re right where you’re meant to be, well, that’s the kind of magic you don’t want to let slip away.

While it’s important to be mindful of these signs, also allow yourself to enjoy the moment and have fun getting to know each other. Trust yourself, trust the process, and above all, trust in the possibility of love finding its way to you.

So, what’s one sign you’ve noticed on a first date that made you think, “This person might just be the one”? Share your stories in the comments down below!

References:

• Crappy Childhood Fairy. (2024, January 29). When you first date them, look for these signs [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTmOKJVxkSM 
• Moore, M. (2022, October 25). Healthy relationships: What makes a good partner and how to become one. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/relationships/what-makes-a-good-partner 
• Bernstein, J. (2023, December 30). 9 Signs of a Truly Great Relationship. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/liking-the-child-you-love/202312/the-nine-signs-your-are-in-a-great-relationship