12 Things That Do Not Determine Your Self-Worth

Loving yourself may sound easy, but we all know how hard it is. Sometimes, it feels like a rollercoaster between being happy with yourself and wishing you could change. There are so many things that affect your image of yourself, and some of them may not be good. Things like the media set false expectations and ideals. Knowing this, here are 12 things that do not determine your self-worth. It can be a long journey to accepting this, but it’s worth it. As hard as it may be, you should never give up on loving yourself because you deserve it and are worth it.  

1. Your achievements 

How many of you can relate to loving yourself so much when something goes well, but the second something goes wrong your, self-worth immediately goes down? Whether it be grades, your job, or a sport, it’s easy to base your self-worth on what you accomplish. Knowing this, you should try to remind yourself that how much you’re worth does not depend on your achievements. Especially when it comes to competitions, you cannot control your competitors, so you don’t need to blame yourself when things don’t go your way. You are not simply a bullet point list of all your accomplishments. You are a complex person with a personality, hobbies, and so much more than your achievements. 

2. Your income and job 

While your job plays a big part in your lifestyle, it does not determine your worth. People who have less money aren’t lesser than others, like society and the media sometimes portray. Your job and income are sometimes the results of your situation. There are so many factors that influence them, like location, the economy, and competition, so they aren’t really a reflection of who you are.

3. Your childhood

Your childhood may shape a lot of things about you, but it does not determine your worth. Those of you who have had a rough childhood are not defined by it. After all, you have no control over who your parents are, and you’re not responsible for their choices. It may take some time to accept, but your past doesn’t define you. 

4. Your level of education

Much like your income, your level of education is also the result of so many factors. One of the biggest factors when it comes to deciding whether to go to college and where is how much money your family has. You cannot change how much money your family has or the location of the schools you want to go to. Therefore, you don’t need to feel bad if you don’t have a higher level of education. It doesn’t mean you’re less intelligent or worth less than those who do.  

5. How other people view and treat you 

Other people have no way of knowing who you truly are. While family and friends may have a good idea of it, only you fully know yourself. Knowing this, your self-worth isn’t based upon other’s limited, and sometimes biased, opinions of you. You cannot control what other people think nor how they act, so you can’t base your value upon something completely up to others. Trying to please everyone will ultimately lead to you being miserable, so try not to stress yourself out with other people’s opinions, even if it is difficult.

6. Other people’s achievements

Do you compare your achievements to other people’s? It’s okay because everyone does that occasionally. It’s so easy to look at what you’ve done and compare it to someone else’s achievements, especially when the internet gives you access to everyone’s amazing achievements. It may be hard to internalize, but what other people do doesn’t define you. You cannot control others, so the only thing you can do is try your best. Regardless of the result, trying your best is enough. After all, everyone is different with varying skill sets and experiences, so you cannot compare two completely unique people. 

7. Your appearance  

Is there anything you wish you could change about your appearance? Chances are that the answer is yes. Almost everyone wants what someone else has, which is the sad truth, especially living in today’s society. It can be so easy to compare yourself to other people and all the gorgeous models on tv but try to remember what you look like doesn’t determine how much you’re worth. You’ve probably heard it before, and we know how hard it is to accept and internalize it, but it’s true. You don’t need to feel bad because you might not look like the people on tv because everyone is beautiful in their own unique ways.  

8. Your relationship status  

Nowadays, there is so much pressure to have a significant other and a picture-perfect relationship. It can feel as if you constantly need to be pursuing someone out of fear of being a “desperate, lonely single.” However, there is nothing wrong with being single. It doesn’t make you less of a person because it means you’re taking more time to focus on yourself and what you want to do. While a relationship may be nice, it is not something you need to have to be valued.

9. The number of friends you have 

Having more friends doesn’t measure what kind of person you are. If you only have a few, it doesn’t mean you’re not sociable or kind, but it means you have a specific taste in people, which isn’t a bad thing. You’re invested in finding high-quality friends who understand and care about you. On the other hand, having more friends doesn’t mean you’re shallow and only interested in popularity, but it means that you’re friendly and open to new people. The number of friends you have doesn’t say anything about your self-worth; rather, it is the quality of friends that really matters.

10. Your social media status

With the amount of emphasis on social media, the world seems to revolve around how many likes you get. There is so much pressure to have the most picture-perfect, aesthetically pleasing life. However, your worth is not measured by how many people like your posts. Social media is for sharing parts of your life and forming connections with people, so while getting likes may give you satisfaction, it doesn’t determine your self-worth. Social media should be fun and uplifting, not a tool to gain validation. You are valid and worthy, regardless of your social media status. 

11. Your age 

Both older and young people are often judged due to their age. People may think all young people are reckless and selfish while all older people have their whole lives figured out. However, your age doesn’t control your personality, hobbies, likes, dislikes, and so much more. It is not a reflection of who you are, so it does not determine your worth. 

12. Your decision to have children

There’s a lot of societal pressure to have children in order to “contribute to society,” but having children is completely your own decision. Not having children doesn’t make you worth less because it is a major decision that affects you most of all, so it should be up to you. The bottom line is whether you have children or not is something for only you to decide, and your decision is valid and valued either way.   

As cliché as it may sound, you are the only one who determines your self-worth. Not anyone or thing else, whether it be money, family, or friends. It may be hard but try to remember that you are more than any single aspect.   

Do you use any of these things to measure your self-worth? If so, that’s okay! We have all been there before, and we’re here for you. Do you think this article helped you at least a little? Feel free to leave any comments, feedback, or experience!