The early stages of dating can be challenging to navigate as you’re aiming to impress as well as determine if someone is worth investing your interest in.
Very important: never go on a first date intending to intensely interview your date. Have fun, be yourself but also make sure to ask a few questions that will yield great insight. This newfound comprehension will help determine if you’re compatible with them.
I have listed four great, casual questions which will harvest answers that show great understanding into their personality/lifestyle. These questions can also be asked via texting, email or phone as well.
*I’ve also included my completely honest answers and the psychological meaning behind them to showcase how to interpret your date’s answers!
Are you going to try the snails with me?
My answer: Yeah of course!
Psychological meaning behind it: She’s open minded and not scared to try something she normally wouldn’t eat (I actually eat snails all the time but I know most people don’t). She’s not stuck up enough to not consume something that looks disgusting.
This isn’t about you wanting them to try a new dish, it’s about seeing how flexible they are. How willing are they able to step out of their comfort zone? You’re not asking them to go ghost hunting or cliff jumping, food-for the most part-is safe and completely doable. Anyone can consume any dish if they’re open minded enough, it’s a simple few seconds of your life chewing. If they have an allergy, that’s a completely different story and don’t pressure them!
What would you do right now if you had a million bucks?
My answer: Buy an affordable house and car for my parents. Buy a reliable car for my two sisters. Pay off my student and car loans completely. Get out of my small ass rented room and into an apartment more near my sisters and school. Then, spontaneously allow myself to go on one shopping trip without looking at the price tags cause now I freaking can, oh yeah!! I would of course save the rest of it for future expenses. Oh, I would also take my family on vacation all over the world; we never had the funds to travel.
Psychological meaning behind it: She’s family oriented and seeks to provide stability for them when she can. She values financial security greatly and enjoys living a nice life, but nothing too over the top. She’s NOT frugal whatsoever but would never blow money on too many materialistic possessions.
This question gives you an idea into their imagination, priorities and spontaneity levels. This is a casual fun question but reveals great insight. Is she a big spender or savy saver? People normally can only date those that have similar spending habits as them.
What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?
My answer: To be honest…i’ve never done anything TOO scary. I hope I don’t sound like a loser…maybe if you worded the question differently I would share great stories.
Psychological reasoning behind this: She’s a cautious person and enjoys feeling safe. She most likely won’t get you into trouble. She possibly also grew up in a strict household where she wasn’t presented the freedom to go do “scary” things anyway.
This will almost always lead into them sharing some crazy and fun anecdote which will give you a glimpse into how adventurous, rebellious and risky they are. Now you will know how exhilarating their life has been and maybe possibly could be. Can’t be planning to go on that sky dropping roller coaster if they’re not down for that.
What should I know about you that I’d never think to ask about?
My answer: Short story time: I got my first kiss when was 19. It was pitch dark at a beach in LA with a guy I met two hours beforehand outside of a club he just got kicked out of. He looked like an Asian version of the rapper, Snoop Dog, only shorter. I’m serious! He had corn rolls in his hair, no lie!! I didn’t intend to kiss him but my girlfriend promised him one if he would go skinny dipping. No one thought he would…it was seriously freezing cold.
Psychological meaning behind it: She’s a fun girl who enjoys going out but also happened to be a semi-late bloomer. Either because 1) she was an ugly duckling in high school and no boys dared touched her and/or 2) her parents were very strict and she wasn’t allowed to date. Those two reasons both apply to me…hehe.
How well will they answer when ask to describe a unique factor about themselves on the spot. Will they be humble or brag about a dashing characteristic of theirs? Will they share a silly story and then proceed on to tie how that helped mold them? Or are they boring enough to give you a generic “Oh uhm…idk? I’m easygoing, cool, insert cliché personality characteristic.
To conclude, don’t let a first date turn into a sour, dull one! Yes, I have been on my fair share of first dates where I was completely filled with anxiety. Sometimes first dates lead to burning love, friendships or completely go down in flames. They key to having a positive experience is to engage in relax conversation, which hopefully will be easier now with these four date questions. Once again, enjoy yourself and don’t take it too seriously!