4 Reasons Why You Feel Empty
Do you ever feel lonely even when you’re not alone? Have you ever felt lost or confused about your life? If you do, there’s no need to get alarmed. It’s perfectly normal to feel this way from time to time. So many people, from all walks of life, struggle with feelings of emptiness, sometimes for reasons they can’t understand.
No matter how much money you earn or how popular, attractive, or successful you become, you might find that there’s still something missing in your life. Sometimes, that void you feel in your heart is simply because of a bad situation or an unhealthy relationship you’ve found yourself in, but more often than not, the emptiness we feel reflects a much deeper problem we have within ourselves.
Here are five possible reasons why you feel empty all the time:
1. You don’t know who you are
A lack of insight into yourself might be responsible for the feelings of emptiness you are experiencing. When you lose touch of who you are, what you want, and who you want to be, it can cause you to feel as if you are aimlessly coasting through life with no purpose.
You might be losing yourself to your work or your relationships, dedicating all your time to your job or spending it all with your friends and family to make sure they’re happy. Every once in a while though, it’s good to take some time out just for yourself. Have some quality alone time for you to reflect on your inner thoughts and feelings, and reevaluate your values and beliefs to establish a stronger sense of identity.
2. You don’t have any meaningful relationships
Another reason why you might be lonely and distraught is because you feel isolated and detached from those around you. Studies have shown that our relationships are the most important determinants of our happiness (Watkins, Woodward, Stone & Kolts, 2003). However, it’s not simply the quantity but the quality that matters as well. It’s not the lack of relationships that makes us feel lonely, but the lack of intimacy.
You may have people you see and talk to on a daily basis, but if you can’t share a laugh with them or have a personal conversation, then it’s not much of a relationship. It’s good to have a small circle of people in your life you can open up to, be comfortable around, and enjoy spending time with. Be it a friend, relative, or romantic partner, we all need people in our lives to make us happy. It’s not being popular or well-liked that brings people joy, but the emotional bonds of closeness they feel towards others.
3. You haven’t made peace with your past
The emptiness you feel right now may be a sign that there are some unresolved feelings lingering from your past. A lot of the time, people feel most lost and alone after a significant loss, breakup, or failure. This is because they’ve mistakenly let themselves believes that someone or something – whether it’s a romantic partner, best friend, hometown, university, or achievement of some sort – defined them, and now, they don’t know who they are without it or what to do now that it’s gone.
While it’s easier said than done, we should all learn not to stay hung up on our past and move forward with our lives. Dwelling on your regrets and wasting your time with self-blame and self-pity won’t do you any good. You need to make your peace with whatever it was in your past that’s holding you back, and refocus your attention on the here and now, being present in the moment. Forgive yourself and allow yourself to grow and heal.
4. You don’t have any dreams in life
This one is the most complicated dilemma of all. If you don’t have any dreams of your own you want to fulfill, it can be hard to find any meaning in life. After all, it’s simply human nature to want things for yourself. People will always aspire to do amazing things and reach for greater heights, to constantly be better than they are.
Whether it’s being a professional, starting your own family, or owning your own business, any kind of dream is enough to make a person feel like they matter, that they were meant to do something wonderful with their life. Having something you’re passionate about can keep you from feeling bored and empty all the time, because you are working towards something you find meaningful and making a positive difference in the world.
At the end of the day, the only person who can help you understand the reason why you feel so empty is yourself, so be sure to take your time and look deep inside yourself to understand where these feelings are coming from.
There may be more than one reason why you feel empty. The sooner you figure out what it is that’s making you feel this way, the sooner you can work on resolving it. The process won’t be easy, but it will be worth it because it will help you live a happier and more fulfilling life. It all starts with simply knowing the reasons why.
- Watkins, P.C., Woodward, K., Stone, T., & Kolts, R. L. (2003). Gratitude and Happiness: Development of a Measure of Gratitude and Relationships with Subjective Well-Being. Social Behavior and Personality: An International Journal, 31 (5), 431-451.