Did you know that communication is a lot more than just the content of your words? Studies show that body language, tone and selected emphasis on certain words play a huge role in getting your message across. They are all factors of the four communication styles – passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive and assertive. Let’s take a closer look at the assertive style.
Assertive empaths are able to stand up for themselves, in a firm but pleasant way. They are able to communicate their needs without personal insults, betraying themselves, or hurting others. They are usually people who are appropriately honest, and have high intuitive empathy.
It is especially important for empaths to develop their assertive skills, as they are vulnerable to toxic people like narcissists taking advantage of their kind and compassionate natures.
Below are six signs you are an assertive empath.
1. You are able to express positive and negative emotions.
Assertive empaths are fully capable of managing their emotions. They do not repress them – rather, they express them in healthy and appropriate ways. Those who are assertive are able to be happy for themselves and others, experience excitement, have hope for the future and are able to express gratitude.
However, they are also able to express negative emotions in healthy ways. These empaths are able to allow themselves to fully feel their sadness, anger or fear. They are also able to deal with them in a responsible and perceptive way.
They know when they are able to handle their own emotions, as well as when to reach out to others for help. This is a very important trait of an assertive empath.
2. You are honest with others about your needs.
Assertive empaths remember what they have in common with others, rather than what makes them different, or areas where they clash. You may know that ultimately, everyone is on the same side. You are honest with your colleagues, your partner and you families.
If you are an assertive empath, you are probably able to speak up about your needs without feeling guilty. If you find you are unable to do something, or encounter something that violates your boundaries, you do not keep quiet. Rather, you communicate your needs and boundaries, in a clear and polite way.
For example, if you, an assertive person, are asked to work late, when you already have a prior commitment, you do not give in. You know that ignoring how you feel will only lead to resentment, and so instead you may respectfully say something like,”I’m unable to work late, unfortunately. I have prior commitments.”
As an empath, you may sometimes be vulnerable to putting others above yourself. You may do this because you feel obligated, or because your want to assist people overwhelms you. In these instances, you may want to remind yourself of your boundaries, take a step back to breathe, and practice mindfulness.
3. You are able to be firm without overstepping others’ boundaries.
Assertive people are able to communicate their needs without hurting other people. They set firm and clear boundaries – but do not overstep other people’s boundaries in the process.
This means that you are able to set their own boundaries without violating others’. You take care to not disrespect, hurt or demean other people – and if you do by accident, you set things right by apologising.
These boundaries may concern any topic – for example, you may decide you are not going to allow yourself to be interrupted. To ensure you do not hurt others, you politely say something like, “Excuse me, I was speaking. I’d like to finish what I was saying.” This effectively communicates your boundaries, without disrespecting anyone else. The ability to do this is a clear sign of an assertive empath.
4. You rarely hold grudges.
If you are an assertive empath, you are probably an easy-going person who believes the past is in the past. You rarely hold grudges, and are eager to forgive people.
For example, if when you first met your neighbor, they were cold and snappy, you don’t let it get you down. You give them the benefit of the doubt by assuming they had a bad day, and later, if they apologize, you don’t hold it against them. This means you are probably a very easy person to get along with.
However, it is important to remember that forgiveness is a two way street. It’s good to not hold grudges, but you are never obligated to forgive people who have hurt you. Not forgiving someone does not equal to holding a grudge. Holding a grudge is a harboring unnecessary feelings of anger, bitterness or resentment. Not forgiving someone is simply deciding that you do not want to because you feel it will not aid your healing. There is nothing wrong with this.
5. You have let go of the belief that assertiveness is equal to aggression.
Assertive empaths know the difference between aggression and assertiveness. They know that aggression is actively trying to hurt other people, and that assertiveness is simply standing up for yourself when necessary.
If you are an assertive empath, you probably know that being assertive is about sticking up for yourself – and your beliefs, values and needs – in a respectful, nonviolent way. Aggression involves threatening and manipulating others for personal gain. You know that two are not the same.
How has your journey to becoming an assertive empath played out? Are there any other signs of an assertive empath that you’ve noticed? Tell me about it in the comment box below! As always, thank you for reading, and have an amazing day!