When you’re attracted to somebody, it may feel like you spend half of your time fantasizing about them, and the other half wondering if they like you back. You wish you could just walk up to them and straight-up ask them: “Hey! So do you like me or not? :)”
But of course, not many of us are brave enough to actually ask that question. There are just too many things that could go wrong! What if they say “no” and things get awkward between you two? What if they start thinking you’re creepy? What if you embarrass yourself?
So what do you do when asking them directly is not a choice, and you don’t own a mind-reading device?
You could get a bit closer to finding your answer if you look for subtle (or sometimes not so subtle) clues, such as verbal or nonverbal communication. According to a 2018 study published in the journal Psychological Bulletin, people act in certain ways when they feel attracted to someone and wish to make a move.
When you know what those signs are, you might be able to spot them in your crush’s behavior and plan your next move.
Here are 5 of the common signs you could look out for to see if there’s mutual attraction between you.
1. You can’t look away from each other
It is said that eyes are the windows to the soul. Have you two ever locked eyes and see your souls longing for each other?
Eye contact is very often said to be a sign of attraction. Looking at each other from across the room, stealing small, shy glances when you’re next to each other… And if you think it’s an obvious sign they like you too when they lock eyes with you, you’re not wrong!
Effects of mutual eye contact on feelings of romantic love have been studied for a long time now. A classic study going as far as 1989 found that staring into someone’s eyes can increase your feelings towards someone, even if it’s a stranger! Participants in that experiment were randomly paired with strangers, and their task was to gaze into each other’s eyes for some time. After that, they filled out a survey in which they reported their feelings towards their assigned partners. Results showed that couples who participated in mutual eye contact reported feelings of affection and liking!
So, if a staring contest between two strangers can make them like each other, imagine how much attration you and your crush feel if you can’t take your eyes off of each other!
2. You find excuses to touch
There’s nothing better than “accidentally” touching the hand of someone you secretly like. Your fingers meet for a moment and all you can think about is how would it feel to actually hold their hand.
When the attraction is mutual – you won’t be the only one trying to sneak in some skin to skin contact. You may notice them casually putting their hand on your shoulder or walking so close to you that your elbows touch. And because you both know what’s going on, it will feel even more magical!
3. You’re texting non-stop
Imagine this: it’s late in the night, you’re lying in bed ready to go to sleep. But you started a conversation with your crush hours ago, and you just can’t make yourself go to sleep while they’re on the other side of the screen texting you! So you’re trying to rest with one eye closed while watching the screen with the other, not caring how late it is, just so you could get at least a few more minutes of them!
At that point it’s clear you like them, but you can take it as a sign they like you too, just as much! Why else would they stay up talking to you?
And the conversation doesn’t end after you fall asleep. They text you the other day, with a good morning text or a funny meme they saw and hoped you’d like.
You are both finding creative excuses to keep in touch all the time, because you just can’t get enough of each other!
4. You shower each other with compliments
Oftentimes we compliment other people when we’re trying to be nice and polite. Like when you tell a coworker you like their new haircut, or when you compliment someone’s outfit when you meet someone at the party. Just because you compliment someone in situations like these doesn’t mean you automatically like them, of course.
But flirtatious complimenting is completely different from that! It comes from the heart and it happens much more often than it would if someone is being nice. Do you feel like your crush has something nice to say about you almost every time you meet them? And does that make you excited because it gives you an opportunity to compliment them back without sounding pushy?
Also, when two people like each other, they tend to get more deep and creative with their compliments. “Nice shirt” is not a bad compliment, of course, but it can’t beat someone telling you “You’re such a wonderful person” or “I really like hanging out with you because you’re so fun”!
If both of you feel the need to give each other endless compliments, it definitely means there’s some chemistry between you!
5. People around you tease you
Sometimes, especially when it comes to attraction, we think we’re sooo good at hiding our feelings! But more times than not, it’s pretty obvious to people around us that there are some sparks going on.
They might notice you glancing at each other, blushing or acting a little bit nervous when you’re together. And when they notice, they might start teasing you (in a good way, of course) – they might say things like “you’re such a cute couple!” or “when are you gonna admit you’re together”.
At this point you two will probably tell them they’re out of their minds, but you’ll both know they’re right! You really are such a cute couple!
So, what do you think? Do some of these signs describe your relationship with the person you like?
If after reading this article you think there might actually be some sparks between you two, you could try making a move if you’re comfortable with it! If you need some tips on how to show them your feelings and ask them out, you could watch these videos for some tips and tricks!
But if none of the signs speak to you… don’t give up just yet! Attraction works in various ways, and there’s no reason to think you don’t have a chance. You could try and learn some strategies to impress them, and maybe they ask you out first!
Whatever happens, as long as you stay happy, positive and confident, your true love is on its way!
Thank you for reading!
Written by: Stela Košić
- Fellizar, K. (2021, May 24). 12 Ways To Tell If The Attraction Is Mutual, According To Experts. Bustle. https://www.bustle.com/wellness/ways-to-tell-if-the-attraction-is-mutual-according-to-experts
- Kellerman, J., Lewis, J., & Laird, J. D. (1989). Looking and loving: The effects of mutual gaze on feelings of romantic love. Journal of Research in Personality, 23(2), 145–161. https://doi.org/10.1016/0092-6566(89)90020-2
- Montoya, R. M., Kershaw, C., & Prosser, J. L. (2018). A meta-analytic investigation of the relation between interpersonal attraction and enacted behavior. Psychological Bulletin, 144(7), 673–709. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000148
- Nicholson, J. (2015, March 31). Loving Eye Contact: How Mutual Staring Can Create Passion. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201503/loving-eye-contact-how-mutual-staring-can-create-passion
- Smith, S. (2021, September 27). 25 Signs of Unspoken Mutual Attraction Between Two People. Marriage Advice – Expert Marriage Tips & Advice. https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/signs-of-unspoken-mutual-attraction/