5 Things I’m Learning in my Twenties
Being in your twenties is weird. Some days, it can be good in all its glorified ways of letting you know how much potential you have. And other days, it just feels downright misleading, false, and pretentious. Sound familiar? Here are 5 things I’m learning in my twenties:
1. You’re going to be careful about who you give your heart to, but it’s not necessarily going to guarantee less heartbreaks.
“He didn’t deserve to get to know me like that,” are words I hope to never say ever again, but the reality is that we’ll never be immune to heartbreaks. They come suddenly and abruptly, and it’s not any better or easier to be the ones to break things off, either. The truth is clear. Yes, not everyone deserves to get to know you, but we have to know what we deserve if we want to love in a way that grows and sustains. Setting boundaries doesn’t always translate to bad or cowardly if it means making better judgment for your heart.
2. You never know how long people are going to stay in your life.
You think for a second that some people are meant to stay in your life forever. But, forever is a long time. And while it’s important to listen to your gut feelings, they aren’t always enough alone. You just never know whether someone was meant to be a lesson or someone you were meant to only meet in passing.
Things are constantly fleeting. And while that’s a hard concept to wrap yourself around, because the people and things you’ve associated yourself with have felt holographic for the most part, the reality is that not everyone you meet is meant to stay. Because departures create room for better things to fall in place, too. You just have to take things as they come.
3. Everyone around you seems to have it all figured out, but they actually don’t.
Social media is a great way to deceive others. We put up these fronts like we’re only traveling on smooth roads and everything around us is beautiful and nothing hurts. And it’s bull! Just straight up complete and utter nonsense.
And you might think for a second that you’re the hero just because you’re the struggling protagonist of your own story, but the truth is that in every one of us, we’re all capable of being Decepticons. I know you think that you’re Optimus Prime, but that’s the thing about being a Transformer. You’re always becoming something else. And sometimes what you are in that moment isn’t always true. The people around you experience that, too.
4. You can’t slow down for anyone.
The people who can catch up will do so, but you should never put your life on hold just because you’re afraid of letting others down. That’s not being fair on your end of things. You have to welcome change with open arms. And while change doesn’t always necessarily translate to better things, growth certainly can’t happen without it either.
Goodbyes are hard when your friend moves away to continue pursuing her dreams or when you’re doing the leaving yourself, but then life happens. I catch myself smiling because we’re all being incredibly brave just doing what we can to fulfill the parts of us that need to grow. Endurance is something I never get tired of seeing.
5. You’ll wonder if what you’re doing is ever enough.
Sometimes, I ask myself what I’m doing, especially when stability still seems so far away. And it causes me to under-estimate my own potential and abilities. It sets me back and so lives this perpetual cycle of self-doubt and criticism. And I’m telling you that it’s perfectly okay. I mean, I know it doesn’t feel that way, but it’s normal. And you’re doing fine, damn it. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. Just because you’re on a path that others might never take, doesn’t make it wrong or any less valid. You’ve got this. Now, run with it.
What are you learning about in your twenties? Leave a comment down below!
1. I’m learning how to be independent and not to rely on others.
2. Be who I am because that’s enough for me.
3. Not everyone that you meet is supposed to be in your life.
Hi Munira, thanks so much for reading. =) Those are all really valuable and important things that you’re learning! I hope as you get older, you continue to grow and become the person that you want to be. =) Have a great day!
This was awesome. I agree to all of these things! I worked full time at a summer camp in Michigan, I live in New Jersey, for the past two years and it’s so hard when I miss my friends out of state. It always gets me and I feel like I have two homes now. And everyone from NJ is always so disappointed about not spending the summer with me but I love working at that camp, and sometimes I regret it because of that. This article helped me realize more that it’s okay to pursue my dreams, their mine not others.
Hi Ashley, thank you so much for reading! =) I’m glad you were able to relate to all the points! I totally understand how you feel when you mention missing all your friends who are out of state. I definitely think that part of growing up means having faith that you and loved ones will still be there for each other no matter what. I think that just because things are different with you continuing to pursue what you want that may create physical distance between you and your friends, doesn’t mean it changes how close you feel emotionally towards one another. Making time to see them from time to time and supporting each other when the both of you are in pursuit of your dreams and goals is something you can continue to bond over that can help alleviate some of the homesickness you may experience from time to time. =) I hope that helps! And I think it’s great that you found something you’re passionate about! Keep it up and continue to grow! I wish you the best of luck, really and truly! =)
I’m still 20, but I have started applying these about a few months ago. My main focus is to stop living for others and comparing myself as well. Like a dear friend of mine once said, “you’re a human BEing, not a human DOing” to do things that make me happy (also correctly) and not caring what others think of it, is a whole new adventure for me. It’s scary sometimes. Recently I did something I’ve always wanted to do since I was 13… I cut my hair! Up to my neck. It’s silly but I feel amazing and new. I also staring saying “no” more often, when I don’t want to do something. I really want to enjoy my youth and live! I wish the same to anyone wanting to make changes 🙂