We can all agree that everyone strives for happiness and fulfilment, with many factors contributing to it. Some people want money to buy anything they want. Some only need to have a good partner to spend the rest of their lives with. Others find happiness and fulfilment in helping people who are in need. Everyone has a different objective, but something that’s common for everyone is that their happiness and fulfilment involves forming relationships with other people. Having a loving and caring family, partner, and friends will help you reach your goals and happiness much more easily. However, like anything in life, it’s impossible to have only the good things without experiencing the bad things. And having bad and toxic friendships has always been a very common occurrence. Toxic relationships can be very damaging for your overall wellbeing so it’s very important to cut toxic relationships off as soon as possible. With this in mind, here are 6 types of people you should stop being friends with.
The friend who always needs something
Can you think of a friend who only ever talks to you about something he/she needs? This is a very telling sign that you have a toxic relationship with that person. Don’t get me wrong, it is okay to need things from your friends from time to time. But a friend who is constantly asking for things from you, be it money, class notes, or a ride, without giving anything back is certainly someone who will not contribute to your happiness (Masters, 2016). Remember that friendships should involve mutual interest, and not one person just taking from the other.
Additionally, people tend to change their relationship priorities at different times in their lives, and it’s normal for your friends to have less time for you when they start working on a personal project, or when they find a partner. What’s not okay is only looking for you when they need something, and then giving you zero priority and disappearing once they get what they want (Chan, 2020). That only shows that rather than being interested in you, they only see you as someone who they can take from. So, cutting these people out of your life will allow you to spend more time and effort into people who are actually interested.
The friend who gaslights you
Have you ever had a friend who constantly blames you whenever something bad happens in the relationship? If the answer is yes, you might need to consider that your friend is gaslighting you. Gaslighting refers to the act of manipulating a person to question their thoughts, memories, and things happening around them (Morris, 2017). Make sure that you compare what your friend is saying with the way he/she acts. For example, if your friend says that he/she cares for you after blaming you, but treats you very badly, chances are that he/she is only saying that he/she cares for you as a way to gaslight you (Polish, 2020).
The friend who never reaches out to you
Do you feel like you are the one doing everything in a friendship to maintain it? A very common trait of a toxic friendship is one-sided investment of time and effort. Imagine this situation: You’re always the one who has to make plans to meet with your friend, and IF they decide to answer your texts, they also make you feel like they are making you a favour (Polish, 2020). If you can relate with that situation, then it might be a good idea to end the relationship. Being in a friendship where you have to do everything and then they make you feel like they are doing you a favour can be very exhausting and make you feel under-appreciated.
The friend who always talks about themselves
Keeping a balance in relationships can be considered impossible so accepting that some things will be unfair in friendships is very common. However, do you feel like your conversations with your friend always end up being about them? Even when you talk to them about a problem that you’re having, they turn it around so that the conversation ends up being about them. You might be looking for someone who you can vent your problems into, only to find yourself being the one listening to your friend’s problem (Masters, 2016). Having this kind of friend can be frustrating since you will feel like you cannot rely on them or tell them anything, while you have to always give them your time and attention.
The friend who always talks down on you
Do you feel like your friend constantly says things to put you down or make you feel inferior? If the answer is yes, then the best you can do is stop being friends with that person. It’s normal to feel like you are not in the place that you wish to be because one of your friends got a promotion or has achieved something that you have not. After all, this feeling is one of the main driving forces for success. However, it’s completely different if your friend is the one who comes to you and brags about the promotion with the intent of making you feel like you are inferior (Polish, 2020). You are better off with no friends than with friends who enjoy making you feel inferior constantly.
If any of the situations addressed above sound familiar to you, then you should re-evaluate who you should truly consider a friend and re-organise your priorities. After all, you wouldn’t want to be investing most of your time and effort into nourishing a toxic friendship that will only negatively affect your overall wellbeing.
Chan, A., 2020. The 10 Types Of Friends You Should Avoid. [online] Heart Hackers Club. Available at: <https://hearthackersclub.com/10-types-friends-avoid/> [Accessed 5 December 2020].
Masters, M., 2016. 7 Types Of People You Shouldn’T Be Friends With. [online] Her Campus. Available at: <https://www.hercampus.com/school/ufl/7-types-people-you-shouldn-t-be-friends> [Accessed 5 December 2020].
Morris, S., 2017. How To Recognize Gaslighting And Get Help. [online] Healthline. Available at: <https://www.healthline.com/health/gaslighting> [Accessed 5 December 2020].
Polish, J., 2020. 15 Kinds Of Friends It’s Time To Break Up With. [online] Bustle. Available at: <https://www.bustle.com/articles/40964-15-types-of-friends-you-should-get-rid-of-immediately> [Accessed 5 December 2020].