Hey, Psych2Goers! Have you been dreading the proverbial first date? Has it been a while since you’ve been out for a night on the town? Especially with someone you really, really like? Are you scared of all the things that could possibly go wrong? You want to give off the right impression and hopefully get to that all-important second date.
This sounds rather difficult to achieve, but it’s actually not. Don’t worry! We’ve got you covered!
Here are ‘6 Common First Date Mistakes’ and more importantly how to avoid them!
DISCLAIMER: This post is for educational purposes and is based on personal opinions. This post is not a substitute for professional advice, but general guidance. We advise you to always listen to your intuition and always do what is right for you.
#1. Showing Up Late
Nobody likes to be kept waiting. If you show up late to the date, that special someone won’t think they’re very special anymore. Even when you do finally show up, with the best excuse in the world. Whether it’s true or not, it won’t matter to them. Your date will feel like their time doesn’t matter to you. This will automatically start the night off on the wrong foot. You’ll be fighting an uphill battle the entire time. One you most likely can’t ever win.
To avoid this, you can do some healthy planning in advance. Knowing when the date is supposed to start, you will want to figure out the best way to get there. Whether that’s taking a car, the bus, or even walking. Maybe you’re a bicycle enthusiast, which isn’t a bad thing. But that physical exertion may cause you to sweat through your fine clothes.
Worst of all, your stench will proceed you. Yuck! Give yourself ample time to get to the location in question, while being relaxed and ready.
#2. Over or Under Dressing
This one can be pretty tough to navigate. As a first date, you probably don’t know each other all too well. First impressions aren’t everything, but they are very important. You don’t want to show up with the nicest outfit you have, because it may come off like you’re trying too hard. If your date is dress comparatively less fancy than you, they may be made to feel worse about themselves.
You also don’t want to under-dress and come off too casually. If you show up in your workout clothes for instance, your date may think that you’re not taking them seriously. Try a happy medium of casual mixed with fancy. Find a sweet spot that both looks good, but is also still comfy.
#3. Complaining About The Service
Complaining about the service is a surefire way of having your date be entirely unimpressed with you. The service industry is one of the toughest industries that you can ever work in. If you’re at a restaurant for dinner and they’re in the middle of a big, crazy rush, your server may not be around as much as you may like. Bad-mouthing other people that are working hard and doing their best to please you, will likely be a quick turn-off for your date.
If you’re able to show patience at slower-than-desired service, your date will see your empathetic side. If you can show patience, they may feel more comfortable around you, because you’ll come off as more likely to be patient with them later on down the line. Remember to always tip your servers! You don’t want end up being like Mr. Pink in Reservoir Dogs (1992).
#4. Bringing Up Your Exes
This is a big red flag. Along with complaining about the service, chances are talking about your exes will turn into your date going to the bathroom and never coming back. Many of us have baggage. It’s very likely that your date themselves has baggage coming into this first date too. The problem with bringing up your exes this soon could potentially make them think you’re not over the past. Your date won’t want to compete with other people you’ve dated before.
If you end up fully dating this person in the future, when things are more certain and you’re both more comfortable with each other, then it will probably be okay to bring up your past. Until then. do your best to keep things going on positively in the present. If the person agreed to go on a date with you in the first place, it’s because they like you for the person you are today.
#5. Talking About Your Fetishes
To be clear, there’s no kink-shaming to be had here. As long as the acts are consensual between the parties involved, people should be able to like what it is that they like. That being said, talking about your favourite fetish between buttering bread may not be the best approach. If you’re lucky, your date may have similar sexual tastes as you. In that case, well done! Phew! You really dodged an awkward bullet there.
If you’re not so lucky and your kink is a turn-off for your date, there’s pretty well no way to salvage the impending awkwardness. If the date’s gone well, you may feel emboldened to open up about these types of intimate things. It’s probably best to play it safe and hold that card close to your chest until a later date. Maybe Date 5?
#6. Making The Other Person Pay
Nobody likes a cheapskate. If you make your date pay, several thoughts will likely run through their mind at super-speed. Can you not afford to take them out on other dates? Can you afford to pay your bills? Are you even responsible with your money?
Offering to pay first will show your date that you can be both classy and respectful. If you’re on a date with a person who agrees in being equal, they may offer to split the bill. That’s a good way to know what kind of person they are in return.
First dates can be super exciting, just as much as they can also be totally terrifying. Hopefully this list gave you a good idea of the mistakes and pitfalls that many people have made before you. If you find yourself having done any of these in the past, you’re not the only one. They’re common for a reason, and thankfully easily avoidable.
Give the first date your best shot! And if it doesn’t go well, you can always go on another first date with someone else!