Gaslighting refers to a manipulative tactic to make it feel that you cannot trust yourself. People that do this want to keep you dependent on them and put much effort into getting you to react a certain way. To help keep aware of some of these tactics that gaslighters use, in this article, we will be looking at six signs.
1. They are “Forgetful” or Deny That an Event Happened
One powerful tool that gaslighters tend to use is their memory, or lack thereof. When someone is trying to gaslight you in this way, they may supposedly not remember that something happened and may even suggest that you misremembered it or even made it up completely (WebMD 2020). As gaslighting focuses on making you mistrust your judgement, not being able to trust your own memory becomes a powerful tool for them.
2. They Call You Sensitive
Gaslighters may make it so that you feel you can never trust your own judgment in situations. Every emotion you have is somehow “wrong” and they know what it should be. They may make you feel like you’re always overreacting. This can cause you to constantly second guess yourself and feel that your feelings are too much (Gordon 2021).
3. It’s ALWAYS Your Fault
When you’re with a gaslighter, somehow you’re always in the wrong. Even if they clearly were in the wrong, it’s only because you had something to do with it (WebMD 2020). Gaslighters may turn accusations back on you and make it feel that you were in the wrong all along. No matter what, you can never seem to win against them.
4. They Pretend to Care
One of the sneakier tactics a gaslighter can use against you is making it seem like they care for you. They may compliment you, or say that they love you, and explain their actions away, yet they never truly change (Gordon 2021). They try to get you to forgive them, yet go back to doing what they were doing before.
5. They Make Things Up
Gaslighters may tell you things to get you to act a certain way regardless of whether it is truthful or not. They may fudge the truth or outright fabricate an event to get a reaction (Sarkis 2017). You may be told that people are saying bad things about you. They may actually tell other people bad, false things about you. In general, they want a certain reaction out of you so they will do what it takes to get it. They may also twist bad behaviors they’ve done into positive actions, for instance if they purposely broke something of yours, they later say it was an accident.
6. They Make You Feel that You are Alone
Gaslighters try to get you to trust in them. They may tell you or others that you are crazy and cannot be trusted. Every emotion you have is somehow irrational and only they know what you need (Gordon 2021). They try to keep it so that your world is limited to them and will do whatever it takes to keep it that way.
Gaslighting is extremely damaging to anyone victimized. Knowing the signs can make it easier for you to disengage and get out. We hope you were able to find this article informative. Please share your thoughts with us on this topic in the comment section. Take care!
- Gordon, S. (2021, November 3). Ways to Tell If Someone Is Gaslighting You. Verywell Mind. www.verywellmind.com/is-someone-gaslighting-you-4147470
- Morris, S. Y. (2021, November 24). How to Recognize Gaslighting and Get Help. Healthline. www.healthline.com/health/gaslighting#how-to-respond
- Sarkis, S. (2017, January 22). 11 Red Flags of Gaslighting in a Relationship. PsychologyToday. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/11-red-flags-gaslighting-in-relationship
- WebMD. (2020, November 24). Gaslighting: Signs to Look For. www.webmd.com/mental-health/gaslighting-signs-look-for