6 Signs You’re Loving Someone TOO MUCH (Not Healthy)

Do you think there’s such a thing as loving someone too much? 

We all know that loving someone is a beautiful experience, but it’s important to maintain a healthy balance in a relationship. Because just as love has the power to inspire, uplift, and bring immense joy to our lives, it can also make us obsessed, miserable, and feel out of control. When love becomes excessive and all-consuming, it can lead to detrimental consequences for both individuals involved. 

In this article, we delve into the complexities of loving someone too much and explore the warning signs and potential pitfalls of an unhealthy attachment. By understanding the delicate balance between love and unhealthy fixation, we can navigate our relationships with greater self-awareness, maintaining a healthier and more fulfilling emotional connection.

With that said, here are 6 psychology-backed warning signs that you love for someone may be veering into unhealthy territory, according to experts:

1. Obsessive thoughts

While daydreaming and thinking about the person we like is actually very normal, it’s still important to be mindful when we’ve crossed the line to unhealthy. Constantly thinking about them to such an excessive degree that it interferes with your daily functioning can be a sign of loving them too much, says psychologist Dr. Susi Ferrarello. You may find it difficult to focus on other aspects of your life or  over analyze everything they say or do, thinking there’s some sort of “hidden meaning” when really, you’ve just become obsessively preoccupied with them.

2. Dependency & isolation

Another definite red flag of unhealthy love is dependency and isolation. That is, when you begin to depend on your partner so much that you feel unable to make your own decisions or do anything without their presence or validation. You may also be investing so much of your time with them that it’s caused you to isolate yourself and neglect your friends, family, and other important relationships. According to  psychologist Dr. Karen Sosnoski and mental health journalist Kristin Currin-Sheehan, healthy love should encourage and support your connections with others, as well as your independence and sense of identity, not take away from it.

3. Loss of personal boundaries

Similarly, when you love someone so much that it becomes unhealthy, both of your personal boundaries blur together. According to psychologist Dr. Aaron Ben-Zeev, this can manifest in a number of problematic ways such as: sacrificing your own needs for theirs, constantly prioritizing them, feeling responsible for their happiness or obliged to fix their problems, and losing sight of who you are without them. In a healthy and loving relationship, it’s important to maintain a sense of individuality, autonomy, and self-respect within a relationship.

4. Neglecting yourself

According to clinical social worker Terry Gaspard, neglecting your own well-being, interests, and needs in favor of prioritizing the other person’s happiness and desires can be a sign of an unhealthy level of love. It’s important to maintain a healthy balance between caring for yourself and caring for your partner because loving them should be a healthy reflection of how you love yourself, says Gaspard. So be sure to check in on yourself and step away from your relationship every now and then to just spend quality time with yourself and do the things that make you happy.

5. Over idealizing

Next, loving someone so much that you begin ignoring, excusing, or enabling their toxic traits and behaviors is another important warning sign to look out for. According to an article published by Better Help, overlooking or excusing mistreatment or disrespect from them due to an excessive love or fear of losing them is a clear sign of an unhealthy dynamic. Similarly, you may love them so much that you create an idealized image of them and ignore all their flaws. Either way, it’s essential to have a realistic view of the person you love and your relationship with them and not let your feelings cloud your judgment and make you tolerate behaviors that are harmful or damaging towards you or others.

6. Emotional rollercoaster

Finally, if your emotions are constantly in turmoil due to the relationship, with frequent extreme highs and lows, it may indicate an unhealthy attachment. According to Better Help, loving someone too much can quickly become an emotional rollercoaster when you make your happiness and self-worth dependent on them. Instead, healthy love should provide stability, trust, and emotional support. It should affirm your self-esteem and support your emotional well-being, not tear it down. 

In conclusion, it’s important to regularly assess the health and balance of your relationships, and seek help or guidance if you notice any signs of an unhealthy attachment. Seeking guidance from a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can be helpful in gaining perspective and making decisions that prioritize your well-being.

So, what are your thoughts on this article? What made you realise you loved someone too much and it was becoming unhealthy? Let us know in the comments down below!


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