6 Tips on How to Build an Attractive Personality (According to Science)

Do you think you have an attractive personality?

How does one even determine it? Is there a test or a scale for it?

Most likely, an attractive personality refers to likeability.

It’s simply impossible for everyone in the world to like you, but that doesn’t mean you should throw away the chance to become someone better for you and for others.

You have good qualities as well as room for growth, but if you want to build an attractive personality, where exactly do you start?

Thankfully, we have 6 tips in store for you. Hope you enjoy it!

FRIENDLY DISCLAIMER: This video is for educational purposes and is based on personal opinions. This video is not a substitute for professional advice, but for general guidance. We advise you to always listen to your intuition in order to determine what is best for you. We hope you learn a lot from this!

1. Adopt a less talk, more action mindset.

Are you the type of person who complains a lot?

Venting is fine. According to Angela Grice, a speech-language pathologist, “venting can help us gain perspective and put words to our feelings.”

The simple act of naming your feelings can help reduce your distress around them (Higgs, 2020).

The problem comes when you’re starting to negatively obsess over something.

Are you talking about it constantly?

Does it seem like your friends are starting to get tired of it?

Negatively obsessing over something and not actually doing anything about it, leads to a possibly worse mood for you and those around you.

Instead of immediately resorting to complaining, try to build a more optimistic, resilient outlook on your problems.

When you have to do something, it’s best to do it as soon as you’re able or as soon as your schedule lets you. It’s encouraged to perform your easier or more urgent tasks first before moving on to another.

That way, you feel great, productive, and relaxed!

Also, don’t forget to take little breaks now and then. It’s very important and it can even boost your motivation!

2. Work on extending your patience.

It’s not easy to work under pressure.

When you’re tired, irritated, or anxious, you naturally have a more difficult time getting things done.

This is why a person seemingly gets more attractive and admirable when they remain calm under pressure.

You can always be that person if you want to be.

The secret is mindfulness.

Let’s say you have to work with a person you find annoying.

Would you try to avoid them at all costs, or would you accept your circumstance and try to reframe your mindset?

A patient person is tolerant. They don’t take themselves too seriously because they understand that everything will pass.

So if you want to practice being a more patient person, you can try training yourself to be in the moment. Ask yourself questions that can help you understand your emotions.

Avoid judging first, and listen well.

Patience is built over time and experience, and can definitely do it!

3. Practice selflessness.

Don’t you appreciate it when someone goes out of their way to help you?

For sure, other people return that sentiment when you’re good to them, too!

Kindness is always attractive.

And being kind without asking for something in return? Woof.

According to Kara Lydon, an award-winning registered dietitian nutritionist, selflessness can lead to happiness. It helps you connect with others, squash your ego, and act from your very own heart and soul.

Of course, there is such a thing as being too selfless, and that is why it’s good to understand your self-worth so as to not trample over it.

Don’t be afraid to give out kindness in the world in whatever way you can.

If it’s through complimenting a stranger, tipping a waitress, or cooking for your parents – do it!

Kindness is free, but the rewards you get from it are priceless.

4. Nurture your self-esteem.

Are you at peace with your body and self?

If the answer is no or anything close to it, that’s okay.

Self-love is an everyday battle, so take this as a reminder to not let the worst days win!

A person with high self-esteem is confident, and as we all know, confidence is attractive!

When somebody has true confidence in themselves, it conditions us to arrive at certain conclusions about their personality and lifestyle (McNally, 2020).

It’s good to remember that building self-esteem is not a one-time process.

It requires patience and a lot of hope.

Exercising, eating better, and being more productive are ways of nurturing your self-esteem, but ultimately, it is a shift in mindset.

It is when you acknowledge yourself as a work in progress rather than something that’s set in stone.

Habits can change and people grow at different paces.

You are better than who you were a year ago, and you can certainly try your best to be better than who you were yesterday.

5. Treat socializing as your friend, not your enemy.

Do you enjoy mingling with other people?

Building an attractive personality refers to internal and external growth. 

You start by creating better habits, having a nicer outlook of yourself, and finally determining how you put it out to the world – AKA socializing.

Some people hate putting themselves out there – and that’s normal! There are plenty of different personality types and there’s room for all of them.

However, try to remember that you won’t get to be in your comfort zone forever.

Research has found that people who had higher levels of agreeableness or extraversion were also rated as more physically attractive.

Good communication skills are always helpful even for introverts.

At times, it’s good to take little challenges for yourself. You can do it!

6. Train yourself to look on the brighter side.

Never underestimate the power of an optimistic outlook.

According to Dr. Medina, an affiliate professor of bioengineering at the University of Washington School of Medicine, “Optimism not only reduces stress, but it also promotes the production of the neurotransmitter dopamine.”

As you may know, dopamine makes you feel good. 

It increases your motivation and helps you focus.

You become more productive and start to see the better side of things, which people find socially attractive.

When you’re optimistic, you tend to bring people upwards, not dampen their mood.

But it’s not always easy being optimistic, especially if you haven’t gotten used to that “glass-half-full” mindset – but that’s okay! Being optimistic takes time and you can always take it step by step.

A simple trick that you can do right now is putting on your “positive lens”.

Did anything happen today that put your mood down the drain?

It must’ve been difficult, but did you gain something from that experience? What made you smile or feel better after?

This is called positive reframing, and this method of thinking can help you train your brain to become more optimistic both in short term and long term.

Lastly, be gentle with yourself. You are unique and important and that in itself makes you attractive!

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS

Do you consider yourself someone with an attractive personality?

If it doesn’t feel like you’re quite there yet, which points do you think you can work on?

There are plenty of benefits to being optimistic, and if you want to learn more about it and about positive thinking, comment down below!

Hearing about your experiences means a lot to us, so please don’t hesitate to share!

Thanks for reading and see you next time!

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REFERENCES

Cleveland Clinic. (2022, March 10). 7 Tips for Better Patience: Yes, You’ll Need to Practice! Retrieved May 6, 2022, from https://health.clevelandclinic.org/7-tips-for-better-patience-yes-youll-need-to-practice/

Cristol, H. (2019, June 19). What Is Dopamine? WebMD. Retrieved May 6, 2022, from https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-dopamine#:%7E:text=Dopamine%20plays%20a%20role%20in,major%20pathways%20in%20the%20brain.

Davenport, B. (2022, February 8). 20 Personality Development Tips That Make You More Attractive. Live Bold and Bloom. Retrieved May 6, 2022, from https://liveboldandbloom.com/02/personality-types/personality-development-tips

Dean, J. (2021, May 8). The Most Socially Attractive Personality Trait. PsyBlog. Retrieved May 6, 2022, from https://www.spring.org.uk/2018/07/socially-attractive-personality.php#:%7E:text=The%20results%20come%20from%20a,the%20other%20optimist%20even%20more.

Editorial Staff. (2018, February 2). 8 Traits People Find Attractive, According to Science. Mental Floss. Retrieved May 6, 2022, from https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/527752/8-traits-people-find-attractive-according-science

Edwards, V. (2021, October 25). How to Be More Attractive: 15 Rules to Increase Attraction. Science of People. Retrieved May 6, 2022, from https://www.scienceofpeople.com/attraction/

Gallo, C. (2017, November 20). Brain Science Reveals The Striking Power Of Optimism. Forbes. Retrieved May 6, 2022, from https://www.forbes.com/sites/carminegallo/2017/11/19/brain-science-reveals-the-striking-power-of-optimism/?sh=4bbd7d971aa8

Higgs, M. (2020, January 9). Go Ahead and Complain. It Might Be Good for You. The New York Times. Retrieved May 6, 2022, from https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/06/smarter-living/how-to-complain-.html#:%7E:text=Why%20it’s%20good%20to%20complain&text=Venting%20can%20help%20us%20gain,a%20situation%20is%20bothering%20you.

Lydon, K. (2021, May 6). How Selflessness Can Lead to Happiness (Mindful Monday). Kara Lydon. Retrieved May 6, 2022, from https://karalydon.com/mindfulness/selflessness-can-lead-happiness-mindful-monday/#:%7E:text=Being%20selfless%20helps%20us%20identify,into%20our%20true%20desired%20feelings.

Mayo Clinic Staff. (2020, July 14). Self-esteem: Take steps to feel better about yourself. Mayo Clinic. Retrieved May 6, 2022, from https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/self-esteem/art-20045374

McNally, C. (2022, March 30). Why Confidence Is So Attractive – Thoughts And Ideas. Medium. Retrieved May 6, 2022, from https://medium.com/indian-thoughts/why-confidence-is-so-attractive-1c742e213102

Scott, E., PhD. (2022, March 25). Stop Complaining to Have a More Positive Life. Verywell Mind. Retrieved May 6, 2022, from https://www.verywellmind.com/how-and-why-stop-complaining-3144882#:%7E:text=Mood%3A%20People%20may%20be%20more,moods%2C%20creating%20a%20vicious%20cycle.

Steinhilber, B. (2017, August 24). How to Train Your Brain to Be More Optimistic. NBC News. Retrieved May 6, 2022, from https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/how-train-your-brain-be-more-optimistic-ncna795231

Yuko, E. (2021, July 16). The Real Reasons You’re Attractive, According to Science. Reader’s Digest. Retrieved May 6, 2022, from https://www.rd.com/article/heres-why-you-find-certain-people-attractive-according-to-science/

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