It’s no secret that toxic people are skillful in sucking the living breath out of you. Their words and actions can throw you into a dark journey fighting insecurities and scars that they off-handedly leave behind. Some of these people are obvious to spot right away. Others, on the other hand, are sly and can abuse your kindness and patience until the time is right.
While toxic traits can change as people grow, distancing yourself from energy drainers can drastically improve your quality of life. You’re by no means indebted to sticking around in a toxic environment.
Here are the types of people who can drain your energy.
- Egotistical/Conceited people
Have you ever had a strict boss who turns the other cheek when you try to compromise with them? Or a sibling that thinks the whole world revolves around them?
Egotistical people tend to be entitled and completely devoid of empathy towards others. They are usually rude and can leave you feeling invisible with their actions or lack thereof. Through their lack of empathy, they tend to use people to place themselves in a superior position to impress others superficially. Who wouldn’t be drained by having these types of people around your close circle?
- The One-Upper
Do you know anyone who constantly tries to downplay your achievements by bringing up their own – even if it’s not related at all?
One-uppers are braggarts that are afraid of being perceived as small, weak, or insignificant. (eHarmony). They tend to gain satisfaction attracting the attention of people, usually by downplaying someone else’s achievements or troubles. This makes them feel superior, which can be a draining game to play for most of us.
- Compulsive Liars
Have you caught someone lying to your face before? How did it feel?
Even if you are already aware of a person’s pathological lying tendencies, it can still be upsetting to know that they’re not being genuine with you. For some people, however, lying can be strangely addictive. Research shows that someone who frequently tells untruths finds telling lies easy and justifiable (Garett). So if you find yourself in conversation with such a person, it’s best not to engage their lies. Even suggesting medical help can lead these people down a better path (Healthline).
Do you know anyone who brings the mood down at the wrong times?
People who constantly complain tend to be total downers. They negatively whine and play the victim – and this ball of nefarious energy can be infectious. If you surround yourself with excessive complainers, you may end up being drawn and absorb their negative beliefs and mindsets as well. This can be draining to your mental health as it halts your journey towards growth with its life-sucking energy.
- Manipulative People
Do you know anyone who acts kind and loving one time, then like a switch, they turn rude and distant with no real reason?
It doesn’t take a psychologist to know the attributes of being manipulative. Manipulation is the practice of using indirect tactics to control behavior, emotions, and relationships. (Good Therapy) Habitual manipulators are insidious people that not only contribute to energy drain but can also cause deep-seated adverse effects. Depression, anxiety, and trust issues are some of the illnesses that a victim can pick up if they’re constantly under manipulation. Being with a manipulator is draining because they’re actions are done tactically to get you to do something for them.
Ways to treat or deal with these people can be found in our other article entitled “10 Types Of Emotional Manipulators And How To Deal With Them”.
Do you know anyone who talks badly about other people? Have you ever had an experience when a friend talked bad about their other friends behind their back?
Being with people who gossip can be draining, especially if the affair of other people is all they ever talk about. Gossipers tend to enjoy picking apart the flawed aspects of people and spread rumors around to incite drama. It’s no fun to be around someone who drags others down. Not only that, these types of people can also easily turn against you and make you the next big target of their discussions. Not worth it.
No person is exempt from having traits that can make others feel drained. Oftentimes, these types were once victims of their own. Understand that sometimes these types may be coming from a place of hurt, while still maintaining important boundaries to take care of yourself first.
And if you see yourself holding some of the traits listed above, read on. You may have instances where you lie, gossip, and maybe even manipulate other people without you being aware of the damage that you are causing. But remember this: perpetuating a toxic cycle is not going to leave anyone better off. It all starts by forgiving and leaving yourself accountable down the line.
That’s all for now, Psych2Goers!
- eHarmony Staff (2008). 5 toxic personalities you should avoid. https://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/about-you/5-toxic-personalities-you-should-avoid/
- Healthline. Retrieved at https://www.healthline.com/health/pathological-liar#coping
- Garett, Niel et al. The brain adapts to dishonesty. Retrieved at https://www.nature.com/articles/nn.4426.epdf?utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=commission_junction&utm_campaign=3_nsn6445_deeplink_PID100090071&utm_content=deeplink
- N/A, Manipulation. Good Therapy.Retrieved at https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/manipulation
- Shinoy, Selene. (2017) 6 types of toxic people who drain your energy. Retrieved at http://thedreamcatch.com/6-types-of-toxic-people-who-drain-your-energy/