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We’ve talked about how hard being in a relationship is, but in my opinion, getting into a good, healthy relationship is a billion times harder (no exaggeration). In my current relationship, I went around telling everyone he was my “best friend” for about four months until we finally had “the talk”. Now, we’re engaged. (I could have definitely used this article back then!) It can be hard to tell if someone is just a really good friend or if they are interested in something more. Let’s crack open this case! Here are 7 signs that someone is attracted to you and wants to be more than friends.
Before we jump into this, I want to be clear that you are in control of who you go on a date with and/or are in a relationship with. Just because someone is attracted to or has feelings for you, this doesn’t mean you do not have to be attracted to or have feelings for them. This is just a few signs to help you understand others’ feelings towards you.
#1: They want to spend a lot of time with you.
Whenever you have a friend, of course you all want to hang out with each other, but do you want to be around them all of the time? Chances are your answer is no. However, when a friend of yours develops an attraction to you or feelings for you, they may want to hang out with you more and more. They may even want to spend time with you every day! If you notice a friend asking to spend more time with you lately, they may have a thing for you!
#2: They make you a priority above others.
This is a little bit different from #1. When you want to spend time with others, that’s usually your free time after all priorities have been taken care of. When someone makes you a priority, you get bumped up to the top of the list! You’re one of the things marked with an asterisk that’s muy importante! Think about your own friends. Do they have a spot at the top of your to do list? Usually not unless it’s important to you.
#3: They show signs of affection that are categorized as “scientific”.
In 1973, Carl Slawski did a study on what “…elements or indicators…” needed to be present to conclude a person is “in love” scientifically. The five indicators he found were empathy, wanting to be around the person of interest, sharing, sacrifice, and joy. If one or more of these indicators weren’t present, it could not be scientifically determined that romantic love was present. If attraction, or “love”, is present in your friendship, your friend may show empathy when you’re feeling down, may ask to hang out a lot, share their thoughts, ideas, time, or even material possessions (or food – love when they share food), may make small sacrifices for the other person, and may be really happy around you. All of these combined just might be the recipe for Love Potion #9.
Want to know more about what “love” actually is? Check out What is Love? (Baby, don’t hurt me! No? …okay. Back to the list!)
#4: They find a reason to make physical contact.
Okay, let’s all be honest for one second. We’ve all seen at least one rom com, even me (as much as it pains me to admit). We’ve all watched a scene at a putt-putt golf place where Person A is lining up their shot and asks for help from Person B. Could Person B talk them through what to do? Probably, but what actually happens? The Partner B uses this as a reason to get close to Person A, stands behind them and helps to guide the golf club with their arms. I can’t lie though, it’s disgustingly cute. My point is that there are other ways of helping your friend golf, but someone who’s attracted to you will use the opportunity to close the distance.
#5: They ask for your opinion on things.
This is a big one! When someone asks your opinion on something, there are three big reasons that come to mind. Firstly, this person respects you enough to ask about your thoughts and listens to them. Secondly, this person may be asking to see if your thoughts/opinions are the same on a certain topic. Depending on the topic, this may be something they’re looking for in a partner. Lastly, if someone asks your opinion, it means they value your opinion and want to use it to make a decision. Typically, you would only ask this from someone close and trusted, not all of your friends.
#6: They blush when they’re around you.
This one is a bit tricky, because not everyone blushes to the point where it’s visible. Some people, like myself, will just feel their face get a bit warm, but you won’t be able to see a pink or red color on their cheeks. If you suspect a friend of yours is attracted to you, keep an eye out for a little natural rouge on their cheeks.
If they’re someone who doesn’t blush, try to take notice if they take off their jacket or ask to turn a fan on. This might mean they have the invisible blushing gene.
#7: They mirror your actions.
There is a difference between copying and mirroring. When someone makes a conscious decision to replicate something, that is copying. An example of this would be your younger sibling dressing going in their closet and picking out an outfit to look just like you. Mirroring is your brain’s subconscious response to being around someone you’re attracted to. Examples of this could be crossing their arms when you cross yours or walking at the same pace when side by side. This isn’t them being mean or making fun of you. It’s their brain telling them they like you; they’re just not listening.
Did any of these points stand out to you? Is there a special someone that, when you’re around them, you might show these signs? Any friends that act like this when they’re around you? Feel free to share in the comments below! Hopefully, this article gave you a little more information about the beginning stages of attraction and gave you a bit more confidence to take that little spark to the next step. As always, thanks for reading, and keep your eye on Psi for more Psych2Go content.
Have a great day!
Want more info on signs someone might be attracted to you? Check out 10 Subtle Signs Someone Feels Attracted to You.
The references used in and to compose this article are listed below.
Side note: This video is for educational purposes and is based on personal opinions. This video is not a substitute for professional advice, but general guidance. We advise you to always listen to your intuition and always do what is right for you.
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Slawski, C. (1972, November 30). Signs of love: Toward a sociology of deep interpersonal relationships. ERIC. Retrieved April 20, 2022, from https://eric.ed.gov/?id=ED167854