7 Signs That You Were Born To Be a Loner

Hey Psych2Go-ers. Welcome back.

Do you look forward to the comfort of your warm bed and silence after a particularly long, difficult day? Is your private space your very own Fortress of Solitude that you could never imagine being without or exchanging for hyperactive, bass-thumping environments? If so, you might relate to the notion of being a loner. 

Daily life and the world in general can be tiring, with its unexpected changes and surprise events that can disrupt your sense of stability and safety, so people can seek solace and refuge from these stressful happenings, by sometimes hiding away and recuperating. If you think that this might sound like you, here are a few signs that you prefer to be alone and might even be a born loner. 

  1. You’re a Very Private Person

Do you prefer to keep your problems, goals or successes to yourself? When it comes to sharing life events, do you like keeping it very vague, nonchalant and maybe redirect the question to the other person? That’s because you’re a private person who wouldn’t dream of telling others about things going on in your life. You prefer to handle your affairs privately and don’t feel compelled to share these moments with people. Since you operate on a strict “need to know” basis with people (who you might find meddlesome), you limit what you communicate to them, unless you feel it’s important. You might even have limited social media use or no social media at all. 

  1. You Feel Suffocated In Large Crowds

Does the idea of going out to a vibrant social event make you want to run to your nearest blanket and plop in front of the TV with a glass of wine or juice in hand? Do you like being alone or hanging out with a select few people that you like or trust? Then your idea of a grand ol’ time is definitely not big social events because you don’t enjoy it for various reasons such as the unsettling buzzing of people all around you, not feeling comfortable with all the attention and mingling you’d have to do. You’d enjoy yourself a lot more if you merged into the background. Or merged into a novel. 

  1. Your Independence Is Extremely Important To You

Do you internally groan when you hear the words “group work?” Do you strongly dislike group activities that require collaboration with others? That may be because you prefer to work alone. You pride yourself on being self reliant and reliable. You actually enjoy working alone as you devote yourself to your task, gain perspective and are more organized and don’t have to compromise on your plan or accommodate others. You also don’t have to pick up the slack of non participating members. 

Because your independence is so important to you, you are willing to express and enforce your boundaries and you’re not afraid to stand up for your beliefs or to act as a lone wolf instead of being a pack member. You thrive on the relaxation, freedom and empowerment that being independent brings you. 

  1. Your Headphones Are Your Armour

Do you feel naked without your earphones or headphones when you’re out and about in certain places? Do you wear those bad boys even if you’re not playing any music just for protection from social interaction? I totally get that. It’s one of my many tools to avoid talking to people. It’s a defense mechanism to prevent strangers or even people who you know from talking to you, maybe when you’re working or not. You use it to keep some distance between you and the world and it’s not malicious. You just need to be alone sometimes. 

  1. You’re Happiest Alone
“Sometimes I need to be alone” – Kendrick Lamar.

Don’t you just love when your plans get canceled or postponed? Don’t you feel absolutely ecstatic when you don’t have to fulfill your promises and can stay home and tend to your plants or your 10 step skincare routine? You might have wanted to go but as the time got closer, you started to dread the decision you made in your youth to go out. But now you’re older and wiser and would prefer to enjoy your hobbies or ask your pet how they’re doing. 

You’re the most happy when you’re alone because you don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. The peace and tranquility you get by being by yourself is priceless. And this can actually have amazing health benefits for you. Board-certified pediatrician Dan Brennan stated that being a loner leads to good overall health and individual happiness. 

  1. You Don’t Enjoy Drama

Do you avoid conflict at all costs? Do you find chaos abhorrent and unsettling? You’re in good company because loners aren’t into that at all. You realize that some people will create drama out of thin air and they live for it. You do not want any parts of that and would not intentionally create any by sharing any secrets or private information. While you’re aware that you can’t avoid conflict forever, you’ll run for the hills if you get a whiff of any unnecessary, irrational conflicts. 

  1. You Value Your Time

As surprising as it may seem, loners do like hanging out with people who they love and enjoy being around. They understand that they can’t be a hermit forever, as much as they may try. They do value their time alone and make as much of it as they can. They also make time to be with others and to share and make special moments with them. Because they realize the inevitably of time passing and ending, they so greatly value it that they wouldn’t waste it frivolously on something that they don’t want to partake in. 


While being a loner sounds like it has a lot of cool benefits, it’s not an easy road to go down. The connotations are still negative and so is the representation sometimes. They are made out to be antisocial weirdos that need to socialize more. Maybe the loners are that way by choice or they became that way. Regardless of people who want to peek under your shell because they are fascinated by you and find you to be peculiar, you probably wouldn’t want to change a thing about your loner status. 

Did you see yourself in any of these signs? Are you a born loner? Share your ideas with us in the comment section and see if you find your people. 

Thanks for hanging out with us! See you soon. 


*BRAINY DOSE. (2021, November 14). 11 Signs You Were Born To Be A Loner. YouTube.com. Retrieved June 11, 2022 from https://youtu.be/cXrkIGMyfnI.

*Munoz, J. (2021, March 19). Psych2go – psychology articles | quizzes | shop. Psych2go.net . Retrieved June 3, 2022, from https://psych2go.net/6-signs-youre-born-to-be-a-loner/ 

*Sarva, T. (2021). 11 signs you were born to be a loner – iynk.in. Google. Retrieved June 3, 2022, from https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.iynk.in/11-signs-you-were-born-to-be-a-loner/%3famp=1 

*SlightlyBetter. (2021, February 20). If You Relate to These 6 Signs, You Were Born To Be a Loner. YouTube.com. Retrieved June 11, 2022 from https://youtu.be/HGeLP_htQEY

*Unknown , U. (2018). Why being a loner may be good for your health. BBC Future. Retrieved June 6, 2022, from https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20180228-there-are-benefits-to-being-antisocial-or-a-loner#:~:text=We%20tend%20to%20decry%20being,health%20and%20even%20leadership%20skills.  

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