7 Signs Your Best Friend Has A Crush On You

They say we can’t be best friends with someone without developing feelings for one another, but that’s simply not true! So many great and lasting friendships are built on honesty, trust, understanding, connection, and mutual respect. You don’t need romantic love to feel a deep friendship for someone.

With that said, however, it’s not uncommon to fall in love with your best friend (Monmouth University, 2017). You spend so much time with each other, make so many great memories together, talk to them a lot, and open up to them about everything that it can be hard not to wonder if there’s a romantic spark there. Are you wondering if your best friend likes you as more than a friend? Do you think they might be harboring feelings for you without you knowing it?

Here are 7 subtle signs your best friend secretly has a crush on you:

1. Everyone thinks you’re already dating

Every time you meet someone new, they always ask about your best friend and assume you’re a couple. And no matter how much you try to insist that you two are just friends, most of your other friends and family members seem convinced it’s only a matter of time before you start dating. 

Now, before you roll your eyes and brush it off as nothing more than some light-hearted teasing, think again. Maybe the reason why everyone thinks you’re already together is that they see something you’re not seeing. Does your best friend’s body language change around you? Does their mood always improve when you’re around? Do they treat you differently from all their other friends? These are all tell-tale signs that they feel attracted to you and want to be more than friends (Hall & Xing, 2015).

2. You catch them staring a lot

Do you notice your best friend staring at you when they think you’re not looking? Or you catch them watching you sometimes and don’t know why? This is another clue that they might have a crush on you but are too shy to admit it. Often, when we’re romantically interested in someone, we can’t help but stare as they talk or pass by. They effortlessly command our attention and we hardly even notice anyone or anything else going on. So the next time you notice your best friend staring at you, ask them why. Chances are, if they like you, they’ll say it’s “nothing” and quickly change the topic. 

3. They’re physically affectionate towards you

Your best friend loves to tackle you with a hug every time you see each other or hold your hand when you’re walking, even though they’re not very physically affectionate with anyone else. They sit next to you all the time, put their arm around you, or lay their head on your shoulder – all of which are obvious, nonverbal signs of romantic attraction. If your best friend has a crush on you, it’s only natural that they want to be around you as much as they can, so they’ll subconsciously try to get close to you every chance they get. They’ll hold you tight, lean in when you’re talking, and maybe even kiss you on the cheek or forehead from time to time to show this (July, 2006).

4. They’re more attentive towards you

Another sign your best friend has feelings for you is if they pay special attention to you and act more attentive towards you. Sure, you’re best friends and you can count on them to be there for you. But if they always go the extra mile just to make you happy, it could be because they feel more than friendship for you. They give you their full attention whenever you’re together, don’t hesitate to do favors for you, cheer you up when you’re feeling down, pay you lots of compliments, and drop whatever they’re doing to make themselves available for you when you need them. Does that sound like someone who only sees you as a friend? We don’t think so.

5. They remember the little things

When your best friend remembers all the little things about you and continuously makes sweet and thoughtful gestures for you, they might be trying to tell you that they like you. They care about you so much that they remember everything you like and dislike and cherish all your memories together. They know all your favorite things and make an effort to appreciate your interests and hobbies because they want to feel more connected to you. And if you find yourself saying “Wow, I can’t believe you remembered that” a lot, it shows that they’re definitely interested in you and want you to feel just how important you are to them.

6. They’re very protective of you

Sometimes it feels like your best friend has higher standards for the people you date than you do. They never approve of the guys/girls you like and it seems like no one will ever be good enough for you in their eyes. They’re always so protective of you and they go out of their way to let you know about all the reasons why they think you shouldn’t be with this person. And while you might shake your head and think that they’re just looking out for you, anyone else can see that they’re doing it because they’re jealous and want to have you all for themselves (Patrick, 2017). They don’t want you to be with anyone else because they’re in love with you.

7. They’re not interested in anyone else

Finally but perhaps most importantly, if your best friend never seems to be interested in anyone else, then that’s a good sign that they have feelings for you. I mean, don’t you think it’s weird that they never show any interest in dating? Or that no one special has caught their eye yet? They never talk about their crushes to you and talk to you about everything but their love life, no matter how many times you ask. They keep their crush a secret but don’t show interest in any other guy/girl. You know why? Because it’s you they want to be with! And they can’t imagine themselves being with anyone else.

Do you relate to any of the signs mentioned here? Do you feel like your best friend might want to be more than friends? Or are you secretly hoping for it to happen?

Falling in love with your best friend can be terrifying, because you risk ruining your friendship and making things awkward between you two if they don’t feel the same way. But sometimes you just have to take that chance and tell them anyway. Because when you’re in love with your closest and dearest friend, it can make for one of the strongest, most intimate, and most rewarding romantic relationships you will ever experience. 

On the other hand, if your best friend’s feelings are one-sided, try to let them down as gently as you can so you don’t jeopardize your friendship. It’s going to be tough to have to break their heart, but everything will be better once it’s out in the open. And the sooner you do it, the sooner they can move on and you can go back to being the great friends you were always meant to be.

References: 

• Monmouth University Polling Institute (2017). “Most Want A Partner Like Them: Surveys on Romantic Compatibility and Ideal Mates.” Retrieved 17 Apr 2020 from https://www.monmouth.edu/polling-institute/reports/MonmouthPoll_US_020917/
• Hall, J. A., & Xing, C. (2015). The verbal and nonverbal correlates of the five flirting styles. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 39(1), 41-68.
• July, W. W. (2006). Does love conquer all? Mate selection preferences in relation to the Storge love style (Doctoral dissertation, Capella University).
• Patrick, W. L. (2017). “From Friendship to Courtship: How Friends Fall in Love.” Psychology Today.
• Pines, A. (2001). The role of gender and culture in romantic attraction. European Psychologist, 6(2), 96.