7 Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Love You

Hey, Psych2Goers! Have you been feeling down in the dumps lately? Do you feel a heavy weight on your shoulders? It may be because of your relationship. Has it been falling in decline for the past couple of weeks, if not months? You know the feeling when you get it, deep in your gut. Even if you can’t quite put your finger– on the pulse of why.

It’s possible that your partner has, or is in the process of falling out of love with you.

Here are ‘7 Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Love You’!

Disclaimer: This post is for educational purposes and is based on personal opinions. This post is not a substitute for professional advice, but general guidance. We advise you to always listen to your intuition and always do what is right for you.

#1. You Don’t Believe The L Word

When you say that you love your partner, you know in your heart of hearts that you mean it. But do they? At the start of the relationship, they very well could have meant it. As time goes on, their love for you might have started fading. If you’ve been with your partner for a long time, you can probably tell when they’re being genuine, and when they’re not.

When they say the word ‘love’, is it immediate? Or is it more like pulling teeth? Is it a total struggle for them to say it to you? Especially when they used to say it so often before? People that don’t love their partners can oftentimes deflect by changing the topic. Saying, “I Love You” may make them extremely uncomfortable, because for them, that may be entirely untrue. If it were even true in the first place.

#2. They Avoid Talking About The Future

If you’ve been with someone for a while now, it’s inevitable that the future will come up in conversation. Moving in together is a big step. So is starting a family together. If they’ve fallen out of love, they’ll probably avoid these conversations whenever you bring them up. They might just be thinking about the immediate moment, while you’re on a completely different page in the book.

To be fair, they could also have commitment issues, due to past experiences, but still love you. Although, if they don’t love you, it’ll be much harder for them to ever see where you’re coming from. Your perspectives most likely won’t be in sync. This can oftentimes be a relationship death knell.

#3. You’re The One Who’s Always Compromising

It’s normal to have fights in relationships, but there must be balance. Being able to compromise on your issues is key to maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. If your partner is unwilling to ever compromise, that’s a big sign they don’t love you. Love takes sacrifice. If you love someone, you’re willing to make those concessions.

A partner who lacks love for you will always believe they’re right. Even when they’re clearly in the wrong. They’ll never see your side of a story. They won’t settle for less. Comparatively, someone who loves you will validate you. It’s as simple as that.

#4. They No Longer Want To “Date You.”

When was the last time your partner made you dinner? Or took you out for a night on the town, to go see a movie? It’s normal for relationships to get stale as time goes on. Because of this, it’s very important to continue to “date your partner”. If they don’t love you, your partner will no longer put in effort to do fun and/ or exciting things.

If you still love your partner, you’ll likely find ways to keep things fresh and exciting. Your partner may make excuses for why they haven’t put in any effort. When you love someone, there is no excuse for it. If your partner no longer loves you, they won’t fight to keep the spark of romance alive.

#5. You Feel Less Important

What a person sets as their top priorities in life, says a lot about them. Provided a relationship is healthy, without being too co-dependant, you should ideally be an important part of your partner’s life. Ideally somewhere near the top. That may mean you’re not number one, though. And that’s okay. They may view their job or their family as more important, for example.

If you’re confident in yourself, you hopefully won’t be worried about this. When your partner doesn’t love you, your level of importance in their life will drop. You don’t have to be the most important part of their life, but you shouldn’t have to settle for being seventh. That’s totally unfair.

#6. They Hate Spending Time With Your Friends & Family

If you’re someone who views friendships and family as an integral part of your life, it’s important that your partner shares the same views. If your partner gets along with your friends and family, that’s great, if it’s genuinely true. A person that loves you, will work to spend time with others you care about. If they love you, they’ll put themselves out there in these sometimes awkward social situations.

If they don’t love you, your partner might turn down several social engagements in a row. It’s fine if they say no to a thing here and there. It becomes a problem when you hear a ‘no’ more than a ‘yes.’ They may have pretended to like your family to appease you. If they don’t love you, then that appeasement will have washed away over time. Someone who doesn’t love you, eventually won’t have to pretend anymore.

#7. You’ve Become Less Sexually Intimate

How is your sex life going these days? A lot of the time sex can be less frequent, the longer the relationship has gone on. That’s the general assumption, but that doesn’t have to be the case. If you have an equally high sex-drive with your partner, intimacy can continue as time marches on. If that’s the case, then good on you! You’re lucky!

If your partner no longer loves you, the sex will feel almost entirely non-existent. Does the sex feel more like an appointment, than it does spontaneous? If your partner doesn’t love you, they’ll make any excuse they can do avoid having sex with you. Everyone wants to feel desired. And a lack of intimacy will overtake that desire. Replacing it with sadness and emptiness.

Final Thoughts:

Do you need a hug? This was a heavy one. Did any of these points resonate with you? Did this post make you re-evaluate your entire relationship? Getting other people’s perspectives and opinions on your relationship isn’t always a fun thing to experience, no matter how important it is to hear it. Please share this with anyone in your life who you think needs to hear it. Even if they don’t.

You deserve the best possible relationship, with someone who genuinely loves you. Through and through.

References:

’10 Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Love You (Even If You Think They Do)’ by Social Psychology Masters (December 14th, 2021) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMlkKbA5JVw

‘How To Know When You’ve Fallen Out of Love’ by Sarah Altschule and Kathleen Ferraro (March 11th, 2022) https://www.bustle.com/wellness/signs-youre-not-in-love-anymore

9 Signs Your Partner Is Falling Out of Love with You’ by Louis Baragona (January 22nd, 2018) https://www.insider.com/signs-your-partner-falling-out-of-love-2018-1