Hey Psych2Goers! You’ve met the person of your dreams. Your shining beacon. Your soulmate. Or so you think, I mean you’ve hardly talked to them, but hey. But how do you know if they find you attractive? Or what if – gulp – they find you unattractive? Well, there may be some subtle habits that can come across as turn-offs for others. To help you recognize them, here are six habits that can make you unattractive to others.
1. Flaking Out on Your Plans
While you may like that flaky crust on a pie, nobody likes a flaker. A flaker is someone who is known for cancelling plans and never meets their commitments. Do you relate? People find dependability attractive! So if you decide to stay home watching The Bachelor instead of going out to that restaurant with your friends as promised? Tell them before the rose ceremony begins! Don’t wait last minute.
2. Being Too Clingy
According to a study by three social psychologists from University of California, San Diego, being clingy can likely be an unattractive habit. The psychologists wanted to study the relationship between an individual’s physical proximity and the “probability that individuals would be chosen” as enemies, or friends! The researchers asked students who they liked and disliked. They found that those who had met face-to-face frequently, were more attractive. When researchers asked students who they disliked the most? It was the students with whom they were forced to spend their time with.
So if you have someone you like, make sure they notice you. But if you notice your presence is a little too frequent, then you may just be annoying them.
3. Poor Hygiene & Grooming
You wake up for a busy day of school and decide: it’s okay to skip the shower. ‘Just one day’ you think. And then the next week, you do it again. And again. Sooner or later, it’s a habit to skip the shower more frequently than not. While you may find the odor of your armpits attractive, others don’t. Poor hygiene is often seen as a very unattractive trait. It’s important to take care of our bodies as well as our minds. Good grooming is also a desirable habit to implement. So next morning, hop in the shower, comb your hair, get a stylish haircut along with a healthy positive attitude. Taking care of yourself will only pay off in the long run. And you’ll be seen as attractive too!
4. Ditching Class & Being Distant
According to a 1992 study by psychologists Richard Moreland and Scott Beach, the fewer school classes you attend, the less attractive you’re perceived. The psychologists had four women enrolled in a large psychology course. Students were asked at the end of the semester to rate how attractive each woman was. The less classes someone attended, the more unattractive they were perceived. As you could imagine, some students forgot about some of the women who didn’t show up to class regularly. As you might have noticed by now, it’s best to make yourself known and show up to class. Your grade will thank you later too.
5. Always Picking Boring Dates
You may think your sweetheart doesn’t care where you take them out, as long as they rejoice in the comfort of your arms. Wrong! Well, at least according to several research studies. According to one study, individuals are likely to have heightened sexual arousal under some conditions of high anxiety. Psychologists had an attractive female research assistant ask male participants questions from a questionnaire. In the first group, the female assistant asked the participants questions on a fear-arousing suspension bridge, the second group was asked on a small bridge. The first group on the suspension group was more attracted to the research assistant and more likely to call her after the experiment as compared to the second group. This is due to the ‘misattribution of arousal’, which is when individuals make inferences about what is causing them to feel a certain way. They simply mistook the adrenaline and fear of the suspension bridge, as a heightened attraction for the research assistant. So the lesson is, don’t plan a boring date with your crush. When you kiss them, somehow they may not want the cute little bridge with the frogs and fireflies across the pond. Instead, they may just want to kiss you while bungee jumping instead.
6. Being Rude to the Waiter
How your date treats your waiter can be valuable insight into their character. Is your date going out of the way to complain about their waiter? Are they losing their patience for no reason? Are they calling the manager? Is their name Karen? Well it’s best to not be rude to your waiter. It’s a giveaway into what kind of person you are, your patience, and how you deal with conflict. If your date is nice to waiters even when they’re not the best in the service industry, you may just have a keeper!
7. Whining & Complaining
Everybody complains. And it’s nice to have someone to vent to at the end of a bad day. But too much complaining and whining can be an unattractive habit. It may even be subtle to you! But trust me, if you complain at every chance, your friends will notice. Nobody likes a high dose of negativity every time they see someone. Sooner or later they’ll associate your complaints and negativity with you. Just remember, a friend will listen to you if you need someone to turn to or vent, but they also want to hang out with you because of how great you make them feel. So don’t forget to appreciate what’s good in your life. And let that outweigh the negatives. Also, if you do decide to not watch The Bachelor and go out to that restaurant with your friends? Be nice to your waiter, and no whining at the table. 😉
So, do you have any of these habits? Which ones? Feel free to share with us in the comments and engage with others who may relate to you. We’re here for you when you need to vent. It’s okay to complain here, you’re still pretty attractive to us. 😉
Written by Michal Mitchell
Check out “What Your Favorite Food Says About You, According to Research” or my other articles here.
- Ebbesen, E. B., Kjos, G. L., & Konečni, V. J. (2004, August 31). Spatial ecology: Its effects on the choice of friends and enemies. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/0022103176900305?via%3Dihub.
- Moreland, R. L., & Beach, S. R. (2004, August 27). Exposure effects in the classroom: The development of affinity among students. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/002210319290055O?via%3Dihub.
- Dutton, D. G. (1974). Some Evidence for Heightened Sexual Attraction under Conditions of High Anxiety. Research Gate. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/18709788_Some_Evidence_for_Heightened_Sexual_Attraction_under_Conditions_of_High_Anxiety.
- Shruti. (2020, December 5). 7 Things That Make Us Less Attractive: Based on Psychology. Medium. https://medium.com/i-hate-you-i-love-you/7-things-that-make-us-less-attractive-based-on-psychology-2564cb5311cb.