We’ve all been there, right? When we like someone but we aren’t quite sure what to do with the attraction we feel and how to make it mutual? And our guess is, if you clicked this video, you’re probably grappling with that very same dilemma right now.
Luckily for us, psychology is here to help! Although there’s no foolproof strategy yet for flirting and seduction, there are certain things we can do that have been proven to make us more attractive and attract our crush’s attention. With that said, here are 6 things you can do to turn your crush on, according to experts:
1. Nonverbal Flirting
In a 2020 study conducted by psychologists Apostolou and Christoforou, nonverbal behavior was found to be the most crucial component of effective flirting. So try to make eye contact with your crush, touch them “accidentally”, or open up your body language to them. According to psychologist Dr. Madeleine Fugère, sustained eye contact is not only a good way to express your romantic interest in someone — it may even enhance their feelings for you, too! And touching them casually and appropriately, says Dr. Aaron Ben-Zeév, has been proven to increase your chances at success with them as well. For example, you can brush your hand lightly against theirs while walking beside them, or graze your fingers against theirs when you’re handing them something (and maybe lingering for a moment).
2. Sense of Humor
A good sense of humor is often overlooked, but it can be a significant turn-on for many people. Being able to make your crush laugh with witty remarks, clever jokes, or playful banter can create a strong attraction. According to Dr. Ben-Zeév, this is because having a great sense of humor is an indication of intelligence and can make a person more infatuated with you. So next time you’re with your crush, don’t be afraid to crack a few jokes around them, show off your wit, or throw your head back in laughter.
3. Intellectual Stimulation
Sometimes, it’s not enough for your crush to be physically attracted to you — you need to be intellectually stimulating to them, too! So engage them in deep conversations and discuss thought-provoking topics you know they’ll be interested in. This will flaunt not only your intelligence but also your curiousity and knowledge. Being a great conversationalist will captivate their interest and strengthen the connection between you, says psychotherapist Imi Lo. It also helps to be an active listener and show them interest when they’re talking by asking follow-up questions.
4. Emotional Intelligence
Next is emotional intelligence. Demonstrating to your crush that you have good emotional intelligence is an often overlooked but very effective turn-on, says psychologist Dr. Ronald E. Riggio. Why? Because for people who are looking for something more serious than a casual fling or hook-up, they know that they’ll need a partner who knows how to understand and regulate their own emotions, be perceptive of and empathetic towrds other people’s feelings, and connect with them on a deeper level.
5. Uniqueness and Authneticity
As cliche as it may seem, it really is important that you be yourself around your crush. According to psychotherapist Dr. Lawrence Josephs, being confident in who you are and embracing your uniqueness can be an incredible turn on. So don’t be afraid to voice out your thoughts and pursue what you’re passionate about, even if no one else may understand. What matters most is that you are authentically yourself and you don’t sacrifice that just because you like someone or want to impress other people.
6. Socializing With Their Friends
Next, if you can show your crush that you know how to get along with their friends, it’ll surely make you all the more attractive to them and turn them on. This is an example of what Vanessa Van Edwards, founder of the Science of People, calls “committing to total engagement.” That is, making an effort to be memorable not only to your crush but to the people around them as well. This might mean hanging out with their friends, acting playfully and joking around with them, and so on. So that when your crush sees that you’ve already won their friends over, it’ll make you seem more likeable and alluring.
7. Making the First Move
Last but certainly not the least, if you want to turn your crush on, why not make the first move? We know it can be scary, but according to Dr. Fugère, telling your crush that you like them often leads them to reciprocating your feelings to some extent. At the very least, it will make you seem bold and confident. And regardless of whether you’re the man or the woman, being open enough to communicate your true feelings and intentions — without any expectations on the other person — is a gesture anyone can appreciate. Being clear, sincere, and taking charge of your situation is definitely going to be a green flag to them and may even turn your crush on if they return your feelings.
So, what are your thoughts on this article? Did it give you any new ideas about things you can try with your crush? Let us know in the comments down below what are some of your personal tips and tricks for turning your crush on.
- Apostolou, M., & Christoforou, C. (2020). The art of flirting: What are the traits that make it effective? Personality and Individual Differences, 158.
- Ben-Zeév, A. (2021, Mar 23). What Makes a Good Flirt? Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/202103/what-makes-good-flirt
- Fugère, M. A. (2016, May 25). 4 Ways You Can Turn a Crush Into a Relationship. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-and-mating/201605/4-ways-you-can-turn-crush-relationship
- Harrison, T. (2015, Feb). Psychological Flirting Techniques: 19 Scientifically-Proven Strategies To Flirt Like A Boss. The Mind’s Journal. https://themindsjournal.com/psychological-flirting-techniques/
- Riggio, R. E. (2022, Apr 3). How Men and Women Flirt with Body Language. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/202204/how-men-and-women-flirt-body-language
- Van Edwards, V. (2023, Mar 26). How to Turn People On. Science of People. https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-turn-people-on/