8 Attractive Things You Do But Don’t Notice

self respect

Do you think that beauty is the only thing that makes people attractive? Chances are, you probably answered no, right? Because for a lot of us, it takes more than a pretty face or dashing good looks to win us over. It takes a kind heart, a beautiful mind, and a genuine soul to make us fall in love with someone. 

But some people can be so attractive and not even know it, it’s kind of a shame. Here we are, admiring them so much, wishing they could see all the wonderful things about themselves we see. And yet, they’re so unaware or dismissive of all their best traits and qualities. If you knew someone like that, wouldn’t you want to let them know so they can feel better about themselves? Well, the same goes for us and ourselves, too! 

So, with that said, here are 8 attractive things you might be doing but don’t notice:

1. You smile a lot.

Do people see you as a warm and friendly person? Are you always quick with a smile or a hello to brighten someone’s day? While it might not seem like much to you, that smile might already be catching other people’s eyes and putting those around you in a good mood. It makes a good impression and it shows other people that you’re a happy person who finds joy in everyday things (Ritts, Patterson & Tubbs, 1992). And what’s more attractive than someone who has a positive, inviting energy?

2. You take care of your appearance.

Even if you might not be the best dressed or best looking person you know, what matters most to other people is that you take care of your appearance. It’s the little things that make a big difference, like freshly manicured nails, a well-put together outfit, or a neat and tidy hairstyle. Because it’s not about how trendy or expensive your clothes are, or what brands you’re wearing. What people find attractive is the way you carry yourself — with poise, confidence, and good grooming!

3. You talk about your hobbies.

Do you have a hobby that you love? Or a favorite pastime you talk about with your friends? Whether it’s gardening, gaming, designing, painting, reading, music, dancing, or playing sports, it doesn’t matter. People will always find you more attractive when you have something you’re passionate about and you’re not afraid to share it with others. So keep this in mind next time you want to impress your crush. It probably doesn’t take much more than being your genuine self and talking to them about your hobbies.

4. You think before you speak.

There are few things that make someone more unattractive than being a gossip and getting their foot stuck in their mouth. Imagine, the person you’ve admired from a far for so long finally strikes up a conversation with you only to say something stupid. It’s a real turn off, right? People who are careful to think before they speak, on the other hand, come off as more intelligent, mysterious, sensitive, and sophisticated. You say enough just to pique their interest and leave them wanting more (Kanzawa, 2011).

5. You’re a good listener.

Similar to the last point, being a good listener is a quality a lot of people find attractive, especially in a world where it seems like everyone is always trying to give their two cents about everything. There’s something nice and refreshing about someone who doesn’t just listen to respond, who isn’t just waiting for their turn to talk. Being a good listener makes the people you’re talking to feel more validated, appreciated, and attended to. It shows them that, unlike a lot of people out there, you’re not just preoccupied with yourself but care about other people, too. You’re a giving and empathetic person, and that makes you more attractive than you think. 

6. You easily make friends.

Another thing you do that you might not realize makes you more attractive to other people is your easy ability to converse and make friends. After all, who wouldn’t be attracted to someone who makes it seem like everyone else just naturally gravitates towards them? Warm, friendly, and easy to get along with, people will no doubt find you more attractive the more likeable you make yourself seem (Dion & Stein, 2008). And the best way to do this is by making a lot of friends!

7. You take care of others. 

A true and generous friend, you’re always there for the people you care about and you make sure they know it. You take care of your friends when they’re not feeling well, cheer them up when they’re down, and support them through everything. Loyalty like that is hard to come by, and that’s what makes you so attractive! You give so much of yourself — your time, energy, and attention — so freely that the people around you can’t help but feel lucky to know you and have you in their lives. 

8. You compliment others.

Finally, but perhaps most importantly, there’s nothing more attractive than someone who makes other people feel attractive, too (Bale & Archer, 2013). Your kind words and compliments warm everyone’s hearts and they know they can always turn to you for comfort or support when the going gets tough. And you know what’s most attractive of all? That you don’t buy into the misguided idea that we should all be competing with each other and that you need to push other people down just to raise yourself up. Your kindness is by far your most attractive quality of all. 

So, do you relate to any of the things we’ve mentioned here? Has reading this list made you realize you might be more attractive than you first thought? If you liked this article and want to read more about the topic, here’s what we recommend: 7 Signs You’re Secretly Attractive, 8 Things That Make You Attractive, and 10 Signs Your Crush Thinks You’re Attractive.


  • Dion, K. K., & Stein, S. (2008). Physical attractiveness and interpersonal influence. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 14(1), 97-108.
  • Bale, C., & Archer, J. (2013). Self-perceived attractiveness, romantic desirability and self-esteem: A mating sociometer perspective. Evolutionary Psychology, 11(1), 147470491301100107.
  • Kanazawa, S. (2011). Intelligence and physical attractiveness. Intelligence, 39(1), 7-14.
  • Ritts, V., Patterson, M. L., & Tubbs, M. E. (1992). Expectations, impressions, and judgments of physically attractive students: A review. Review of educational research, 62(4), 413-426.

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