8 Signs A Guy Secretly Likes You

Has a guy ever completely blindsided you by confessing that he’s had a long-time crush on you while you never even had a clue? Do you have a close boy-space-friend that everyone keeps insisting has feelings for you even though you think he just sees you as a friend? Is there someone special you have your eye on but you just can’t seem to figure out how he feels about you?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, well, you’re certainly not alone. Because when it comes to understanding guys and their feelings, a lot of the time they can be hard to read. Most guys aren’t as open or comfortable expressing their feelings as those of the fairer sex.

Luckily for us though, psychology has been studying the science of love and attraction for decades! So if you really want to know how a guy feels about you, here are 8 tell-tale signs that can help you figure out when a guy likes you but is hiding it:

1. He sends you a lot of nonverbal signals.

Whether it’s his body language or his tone of voice, make sure to pay close attention to how a guy acts when he’s around. Most people often unknowingly send a lot of nonverbal signs and signals that communicate their true feelings towards you. Does lean in closer when you talk to him? Is he always trying to sit or walk besides you? Does he often mirror your actions and gestures? Psychology says these are all common signs of romantic attraction, just like mutual eye contact, playful touching, and self-conscious behaviors like grooming or fidgeting (Pines, 2001).

2. He spends a lot of time with you.

If a guy secretly has a crush on you, then no doubt he’ll constantly be looking for ways to see you and spend more time with you. They will often come up to talk to you, text or message you a lot, and invite you to hang out or do things with them. Some guys though might be too shy to initiate conversations with you, especially if you don’t know each other that well yet, and might just try to run into you or bump into you somewhere and hope that it leads to something more (Fehr, 2013). 

man playing guitar with girl

3. He never talks about other girls around you.

Do you think a guy in your life right now might be harboring some romantic feelings towards you? Well, here’s one good way to know: Think back to the last few conversations you’ve had with him. Has he ever talked about or mentioned other girls around you? If the answer’s no, then it’s probably because he likes you! He likes you so much that he’s careful not to talk about other girls around you, unless someone else brings it up, because he doesn’t want you getting the wrong idea that he’s interested in anyone else. 

loving black homosexual couple hugging on street

4. He asks you a lot of questions.

When a guy likes you, oftentimes it will be obvious by the way he pays special attention to you and only to you. He asks you a lot of personal questions, wants to get to know you better, and listens to you attentively when you’re talking to him. They might even be so bold as to ask you about your relationship status or what kind of guys you like. At the very least, it means he enjoys talking to you and thinks you’re fun and interesting.

5. He subtly tries to impress you.

As cliche and outdated as it might seem, most guys will often try to win over the girl they like by finding ways to impress her, whether it’s with his talent, intelligence, strength, or good looks. Why? Because according to evolutionary psychology theories, we often want to appear our best, most desirable selves in order to entice possible romantic partners into pursuing a relationship with us. So next time you’re with a guy, try to see if they are making an effort to look nicer for you or seem cooler, friendlier, smarter, or funnier (Schmitt, Couden & Baker, 2001). Speaking of which, that brings us to our next point…

6. He is often protective of you.

Just like how women are naturally caretakers and nurturers, evolutionary psychology says that all men are born with the innate urge to provide for and protect the people they care about. So if you notice him acting more protective towards you than his other friends – say for example, by always walking you home at night or staying by your side in a crowded space – then it means he sees you as someone he values and wants to protect (Schmitt, Couden & Baker, 2001).

7. He’s always smiling around you.

While it might be all too easy to dismiss a guy’s smile as a sign that he’s simply in a good mood and nothing more, psychology says it’s worth taking a second look at, especially if he seems like he’s always especially cheerful around you in particular. Does he smile at you in greeting every time without fail? Or laugh a lot more when you’re around? Does he seem to perk up the moment he sees you? Or have a positive change in mood when talking to you? Pay close attention to how he acts around you and compare it with how he acts around other people. If you notice he seems happier and is always smiling around you, then that’s a definite sign that he likes you!

8. He’s always trying to make you smile, too!

Finally but perhaps most importantly, when a guy likes you not only will he be laughing and smiling around you, he’ll always try to make you smile, too! Most guys try to crack a few jokes, goof off, or tease the girl they like to make her laugh, while others might shower her with compliments or thoughtful little gifts. Either way, when a guy seems to constantly be doing things to get your attention and put you in a good mood, then that’s as clear a sign as any that you’ve already won his heart.

So, do you relate to any of the signs mentioned here? Did anyone in particular come to mind as you were reading this list? If you liked this article and want to learn more about this topic, here’s what we recommend you read next: 7 Signs Someone is Secretly in Love With You, 7 Signs Your Best Friend Has a Crush on You, 7 Signs People Secretly Find You Attractive, 

References:

  • Pines, A. (2001). The role of gender and culture in romantic attraction. European Psychologist, 6(2), 96.
  • Fehr, B. (2013). The social psychology of love. The Oxford Handbook of Close Relationships, 201-233.
  • Schmitt, D. P., Couden, A., & Baker, M. (2001). The effects of sex differences and temporal context on feelings of romantic desire: An experimental evaluation of sexual strategies theory. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27(7), 833-847.
  • Hall, J. A., & Xing, C. (2015). The verbal and nonverbal correlates of the five flirting styles. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 39(1), 41-68.

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