Unless someone is outwardly expressive about their interest, attraction typically appears first on the micro-level before it becomes obvious. So whether it be that schoolmate, colleague, friend, or stranger, stay tuned for signs that someone may be highly attracted to you. Keep in mind that while the signs might be pointing to someone’s attraction, it’s important to first decipher if the person in mention might simply be a highly effective communicator with a high social IQ. People that fall into that category are adept at making people feel seen and heard with their attentiveness. On the contrary, people who are attracted to you might act less consciously to appear so, which can make the signals they send seem mixed – especially if someone is prone to seeming anxious around someone they’re attracted to. Therefore, for all of the signs listed next, please use your best discernment and intuition to decipher the clues!
According to clinical psychologist Holly Schiff, mirroring happens when someone is subconsciously attempting to bond with you through matching your behavior. If you notice someone is making similar facial expressions as you, placing their body in a similar posture, or even matching your energy levels, it’s possible that they find your presence comforting or even attractive enough that they’d like to express their interest through this nonverbal affirmation. Note that most people aren’t likely to consciously catch themselves doing so, but if you start to notice your date is matching your standing posture and speech mannerisms, it’s a great sign of attraction! Schiff also notes that this is partly why couples tend to start looking and acting similar after some time.
While there are people who prefer subtler methods of flirting, others who are inclined towards having physical touch be their love language might throw in some physical flirtation to show their interest in you. Physical gestures that signal someone’s attraction might include but are not exclusive to a lingering hug, a pat on your arm or shoulder whenever appropriate, accidentally grazing your hand, touching the mid to lower part of your back (in a non-creepy manner). Take notice of whether the said person seems naturally communicative with their physical touch, as in if they seem to be so with everyone, or if it’s only you that they are extra attentive to in this form. Some people may use physical touch as a bonding technique to help themselves and others feel more casual and comfortable in their presence, and in those cases, it could be possible that they’d be nervous about acting that way towards someone they’re attracted to.
Belly Button Alignment
Margaret Stone, a licensed therapist and dating coach, states that aligning one’s belly button with another is a sign of attraction, trust, and security – something which is also done more so on the subconscious level than the conscious. Couples who tend to face each other, even when in large group settings, are doing so to feel socially safe on a subconscious level. Similarly, when someone is attracted to you, their body will give away clues that they’d like to become closer to you physically or emotionally by pointing themselves directly at you. Additionally, the direction of someone’s feet may give away their point of interest. When someone is engaged in conversation, their feet will point towards the person they’re speaking with, but when the opposite situation is true, their feet may point away.
Open Body Language
In a 2016 study on the importance and impact of body language on speed dating, researchers found that participants who displayed open nonverbal behavior were deemed as dominant and attractive versus those who demonstrated contractive cues. While it’s now considered scientifically proven that open body language – like uncrossing your arms, taking up space, and standing with a straight posture – can make you seem more attractive, it’s also true that those who are attracted to you will appear more open in their body language as well. Check to see if someone’s body seems expansive or contractive in your presence. If they are keeping their bodies vulnerable and in a welcoming stance, they feel comfortable and safe around you. On the other hand, if they seem to be closed off with their body, it might be their way of nonverbally asking for space.
This one might be hard to notice, but if you do catch it – take it as a good sign! An eyebrow flash or an eyebrow raise is considered a microexpression, which means it only appears on a person’s face for a moment or a second. Microexpressions are the most telling signs of someone’s true emotions, even when their words or conscious actions say otherwise. A quick raising of the eyebrows, especially when someone first sees you walking towards them for example, could be expressing their genuine excitement that you’ve arrived. Contrast that with eyes that narrow with downward turning eyebrows when someone is unhappy to see you. Strangers who find you attractive while walking past you might quickly flash their eyebrows as a subtle sign of surprise or delight in what they’re seeing. An eyebrow raise that occurs and remains raised might be speaking less to attraction and more to actual surprise or shock.
Ever noticed your best friend’s voice becoming suddenly higher or deeper while in the company of their crush? Well, don’t judge them for it, because it’s quite likely that you unconsciously do the same in the presence of someone you’re attracted to as well! A study conducted in 2014 found that people who are speaking to someone they find attractive tend to change the tone, strength, and pitch of their voice when doing so. According to said study, it’s even possible for those listening in on conversations between two people who are attracted to each other to tell there’s chemistry happening. Take note of how someone sounds when speaking to a family member or a friend, versus when they’re speaking with you. It’s possible they might seem more attentive in their speech style and desire to highlight their best qualities through their voice – for example, if they’d like for you to believe they’re masculine, they might deepen their voice and if they’d like for you to think of them as sweet, they might soften their tone.
Jack Schafer, Ph.D., states that as rapport increases between two people, inward leaning may increase as well. This happens gradually, and will often include signs of belly button alignment and open body language, which were both previously discussed. This might be easier to tell when involved in a one-on-one conversation, but in a group setting, the level of difficulty increases in deciphering this clue. The best plan of action, in this case, is to first notice if someone is making frequent eye contact with you, if once you reciprocate they begin to turn their body towards you and inevitably lean in, especially if they’re seated, take this as a positive sign that they are interested in or attracted to you. Opposingly, those who are not interested in the topic at hand or seem confusingly indifferent to your impossibly good looks and charm might lean back and keep themselves at a comfortable distance instead.
Maybe you’re noticing your crush seems more distracted in one-on-one study sessions with you than they are when in a group setting. Or perhaps, you notice that an acquaintance you just met seems completely unaware of their surroundings while in conversation with you. It’s even possible that strangers who walk past you are distracted from their path and feel compelled to double-take as you walk by. All of these tell-tale signs are pointing towards distracted behavior. Someone’s attraction to you, whether platonic or romantic, might be obvious in their subconsciously focused attention on you while seeming distracted from their former focus of attention.
As long as you’re not out there causing traffic jams or having people trip from their rubber-necking to get another good look at you, keep being your enticingly attractive self, hot stuff!
Be sure to check out our Psych2Go YouTube channel for more videos like the one below on ways to become more attractive!
Daniel , Farrah. “From Flushed Skin to Eye Contact: 27 Signs That Someone’s Attracted to You.” Mindbodygreen, 19 Dec. 2020, https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/signs-of-attraction.
“The Definitive Guide to Reading Microexpressions (Facial Expressions).” Science of People, 25 Oct. 2021, https://www.scienceofpeople.com/microexpressions/.
Nicholson, Jeremy. “How Our Body Language Can Make Us … – Psychology Today.” Psychology Today, 10 Sept. 2017, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201709/how-our-body-language-can-make-us-attractive.
Schafer, Jack. “5 Nonverbal Clues That Someone Is Interested in You …” Psychology Today, 28 July 2016, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201607/5-nonverbal-clues-someone-is-interested-in-you.
Steber, Carolyn. “13 Unexpected Signs Someone Is Attracted to You, According to Experts.” Bustle, Bustle, 17 June 2021, https://www.bustle.com/wellness/unexpected-signs-someone-is-attracted-to-you-according-to-experts.